Naked Author

Books/Boobs, Publishers/Pussy, Editing/Cumming

2012-01-26T11:24:00.003-05:00

Where to start books or girls, books or girls, books or girls.
I'll start with girls...
Well I was part of the Bachelorette Casting Experience for Emily Maynard. She has an interesting story. In doing so I've had to talk a lot about love, True Love, and my experiences with it. After my Ex-Girlfriend did not come to my side while I was battling cancer I decided to move on from her for good and start taking dating seriously. The Russian Nurse was the first to come to my side. She was a physical specimen. The ex-girlfriend called me a Shallow, Loser, Boy, when I moved on with the Russian Nurse. Of course the person that is closest to you can hurt you the most and her words have stayed with me. The Russian Nurse was hot but she also said stuff like, "You buy me $800,000 house on beach in Brooklyn, yes?!" She was appalled by my Naked Author mobile. Her family, the Russian Mob, was not excited about me putting them on Youtube. There were issues...and the thoughts of me being Shallow as my ex-girlfriend called me began to resonate.

And now moving forward, Shallow, Loser, Boy are still in my head and what I'm trying not to be in my next relationship.
There is a song by Gotye, Someone That I Used To Know, that sums up my thoughts of my Ex-GF, except I don't want to remain friends with her. With her I can't. It's too painful. Better for me to never see or hear from her again in anyway. So what exactly am I looking for moving forward now? Well...
My Ex-GF had the looks but she also had the brains...book smart, not in writing books like me, but she had her Master's Degree. I always respected her thoughts on my writing. She read most of my books and I valued her input on them.

Books or girls, books or girls, books or girls.
So now on to books...
I'm going to continue writing my books. What I'm trying to accomplish with them is this: I've written a Trilogy now, starting with, A Fallen King, then Red Sea Divided, and finally Full Moon Rising. I am working on my next book after Full Moon Rising based on the bastard son of my two main characters from Full Moon Rising. I'm also working on the drug smuggling sea captain, that will be the final book of my saga. But what's the point in writing books without a book deal? What's the point in writing books that will never go to #1 on the New York Times Best Seller List? What's the point in writing books that will never have the professional editors, copy editors, proof readers, distribution, and marketing of the big time Publishers? What's the point in writing books that are basically rough pieces of coal that have not become polished diamonds?

There are girls that read my books, smart girls, book smart girls, with degrees. I had my second book, Red Sea Divided first 25 pgs edited by a professional editor thanks to my connections at Gannett at the time. Her work was magnificent, however I feared that she changed the voice of my writing into her own. I've been told this is not the case. That my books, my stories are all good, however they need to be presented in a way that everyone is used to reading and there in lies the much needed editing for my books.
My fourth book for example: I write about when I was 5-7yrsld and it needs to be edited in a voice of a 5yrld and then swith back to the voice of a 30yrld.

I know I've been so focused on landing my own $10million Snooki Book Deal. But to have professional editing that can turn my books from coal to diamonds is my number one goal. If I ever make any money off of any of this, great, you know I'll take it. But just to have my baby books grow up with some good fine tuned editing means the world to me.

A girl asked me, "Are you happy?" Because we all know what I'm trying to accomplish and it ain't easy. To answer that, yes, I am happy. Like I've said before, when I walk by the children's ward of Robert Wood Johnson Hospital and I see all the kids with cancer that are not going to make it that never even get to start a dream. I realize how lucky I am to have a dream and be able to live it out no matter the outcome.
My quest continues...

WTF Now God?

2012-01-22T09:16:00.002-05:00

Me:"Yo God, hello, you told me after I beat cancer all of my dreams would come true if I changed my ways. I changed my ways and I'm not kicking girls to the curb every time my ex-girlfriend texts me that we will be getting back together. I just met with all of the producers of ABC. They have my book and are reading it but I didn't get on this season's Bachelorette. That could have made all of my dreams come true...WTF God? It's not me that is going to have egg on my face if I don't sign the $10million Snooki Book Deal."
God: "Hello down there my child. Umm now what's this about you not getting on this season's Bachelorette? Right right, Emily wasn't right for you. ABC has your story and your book. Just keep writing your books and keep doing what you are doing and your dreams will come true Jason."
ME:"Umm God that is comforting and all but signing the $10million book deal validates everything that I'm doing. I'm writing books right now that no one is reading. I don't have the big time editors, proof readers, of the Random Houses."
God:"Jason you met with the senior producers of ABC and they haven't forgotten about you. You and your story have traveled far and wide."
Me:"I don't care about people knowing my story or fame. All I care about is signing the $10million book deal. That's all I want in my life. That validates everything. My ex-girlfriend left me with the line, How'd that work out for you, and I will finally be able to respond with the utmost satisfaction, Pretty fucking good. But right now she gets all the satisfaction from my failures and sitting on new Dude Dick."
God:"Jason just keep training for your Kayak Quest, Fights, and write. It's all coming if you could only see what I can."
Me:"God it sounds to me like you want me to have Hope and Faith. I've given up on that long ago. The World beat that out of me, all I care about are results now. Hope and Faith...seriously God?!"
God:"Yes Jason it's all coming just continue your work on earth. And Jason you do have faith, you believe in me, God, right?"
Me:"Well..."

After my pep talk with God I fired off this email to the Senior Producer of ABC, Davida.

Thanks Davida for all of your interest in me! I'll be watching this season's Bachelorette and I will be back next year for the Bachelor(ette) casting. I have to find my next True Love that will inspire the love stories in my books and I can share all of the wonders of the world with. I had it once and it was the best feelings of my life and I don't want to go through the rest of my life without them...
I would have fought for Emily.
Cheers!
Jason
P.S. Hope you enjoy my book! :)

nakedauthor.com
naked@nakedauthor.com

Well ladies and gentlemen I've met some seriously powerful people along my journey to go from an unknown self published author to a legit mainstream signed author. I will continue all that I am doing. My quest continues...

Bachelorette and Kim Kardashian get Fisted without Me

2012-01-14T07:37:00.005-05:00

Hi Jason,
The finalist weekends have been booked for this season. It was a pleasure meeting you in New York and I wish you the best in the New Year!!
Kindest Regards,
Davida
Senior Producer ABC

Awwww...Bachelorette gets fisted by someone else. How do actors do it? You go in for a role of a lifetime and you think you nailed the audition and then...?! I think of Leonardo DiCaprio and him landing Titanic. Landing that role changed his entire life. To think there was another guy that was up against Leo and had he gotten the role his whole life would have changed forever. But now Hollywood has Leonardo DiCaprio and somewhere out in the world there is the runner up that is living the 'almost' life...
I 'almost' made it on Bachelorette and perhaps that would have lead me to my own $10million Snooki book deal.
I 'hang out' with a lot of 20yrld girls and they all watch the Jersey Shore. I am forced to see more of it then I ever have in my life. I see Snooki in Season 4. She lost a lot of weight, she landed the $5million book deal for a book she never had to write, and she seems to have found 'True Love'. Damn...my hat goes off to the Snooki. She did things that I could not...

What now for me and my self published books you ask? Well my days of running around barefoot in Speedo/Spandex are behind me. Everything that I've done to try and land the $10million book deal if it doesn't work one way I try another. That has been my motto. But there will be no second attempt to land on the Reality Shows. I've done that and I was as surprised as you that ABC The Bachelorette was the one that wanted me. It did make me really evaluate 'True Love' 101.
1. If you have 'True Love' there is no one else that you ever want to be with physically no matter what. Whether you are married or not. The only person that you want to kiss, touch, and be touched by is with your 'True Love'. Period '.'
2. If you are mortally wounded and facing death. Your 'True Love' will be by your side. Period '.'

I keep thinking of the words the ex-girlfriend left me with when she made fun of my failures as a self published author and my Naked Author act, "How'd that work out for you."
How did this work out for me I keep asking myself? It wasn't until I got cancer and I was walking by the children's ward of Robert Wood Johnson Hospital that I got some clarity on this. I have my dream of writing my books and landing my $10million book deal and I've done everything in my power mentally, physically, and emotionally to accomplish my dreams. When I walked by the children afflicted with cancer that aren't going to make it before they even get a chance to start a dream I realized how lucky I am and how much I have accomplished with my life.

I have written four books with two more on the way, I just need a book deal and 'True Love' to inspire me to write again. I got the name of the 11 yrld pretty blond hair, blue eyed girl that the day I found out I beat cancer on 9/12/11, I found out she has cancer in the brain and at this date is not doing well at all...
Her name is Madison Grace. I'm going to write her name on my Kayak when I Kayak from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ this spring.

I have an absolute peace now in my life. Trying to land on the Reality Show was my last big push to land my $10million book deal. I could see me on Tosh.O. on Chelsea, TMZ etc.
God told me that all of my dreams would come true if I changed my ways after beating cancer and I have changed.
God was right about me beating cancer and I thought if I landed on The Bachelorette then all of my dreams would come true landing the $10million book deal. Perhaps God had something else in mind for me and how I will ultimately land my book deal? From now on instead of me fighting, clawing, and thinking of ways for me to make it I will now put it all in God's hands and whatever comes a long comes a long.

Just so everyone knows...God, the Devil, Jesus Christ are all aka Me, Myself, and I...aka My Ego, Super Ego, and Id.

Oh where will my journey take me now? TV would have been nice...

All I want for XXXmas is to fist the Bachelorette and Kim Kardashian

2012-01-06T11:38:00.007-05:00

I'm waiting to hear back from Davida the senior producer of ABC to see if I'm going to Hollywood. I'll tell you what is happening right now as you read these words, my head shots and body shots are on a table in Hollywood next to all of these other dude dicks and we are being talked about whether or not to put us on the show. I keep second guessing myself as everyone I know keeps giving me info about the Bachelor(ette). I keep wondering if all of my Naked Author stuff is too much, over the top, perhaps I'm too hyper focused on my end goal of landing my book deal? Maybe it put Davida and ABC off? Right? Wrong!
My books are My Savior and I'll explain why in a moment...I don't sleep that much. I pace a lot, I have so much going on in my mind, books I want to write, goals I'm trying to achieve, all my dreams that I'm trying to make true. Only one person did I ever get good sleep. Only one person would I get so excited to get into bed no matter what and we all know it was the ex-girlfriend. But then she did something weird and kicked me out of bed to make room for her 3yrld son to sleep next to her with his binki in his mouth. It was the oddest move I've ever experienced and one I never thought I would from the person I felt True Love for. Then the ex-gf kept telling me to give up on my dreams. To kill my books. When she left me she told me over the phone about my dreams, "How'd that work out for you?", as she made fun of my failures. Then she texted me that I'm a shallow, loser, boy.
She didn't get it...with her I was never shallow there was no other girl I ever wanted and I knew it at 19 yrs old and I knew it at 32 even though our lives were more complicated with divorces and dreams.
My ex-wife coined a phrase with me and said, "Jason you are always chasing the Dragon." It's a phrase my ex-girlfriend has used on me as well. I've always thought of that. When I was with my ex-wife I was always searching for my lost True Love, my ex-girlfriend. When I was with my ex-wife I made over $100,000 a year but I was never happy without True Love to share it all with. Then when I got my ex-girlfriend back I hit rock bottom and lost the $100,000 a year job. Then my ex-girlfriend's true colors came out and just as she left me for other dude dicks when we were in our 20s she did the same to me in our 30s and when I was fighting cancer...so this dragon that I'm 'chasing'...
My books are my savior...they will lead me to glory. What's that you ask? How will my books do that? My stupid, self published books that no one reads, that are dying on Amazon right now as you read this blog?
Oh let me explain it all now...you see I brought my books to the ABC audition in NYC. I read my own writing from my first book about Love to the producers. They asked for my fourth book to read. You see ladies and gentlemen the old tired cliche that I keep writing about and hopefully always will find inspiration to continue doing so, about True Love, I am also a living breathing tired cliche. My ex-wife said, "Jason you are always chasing the dragon." She was right. The dragon I am chasing is my book deal and I want to slay the dragon and sign the book deal for Kabillions of dollars. I want to take all of the treasure that the dragon hords and sleeps on and return it all to my princess, my True Love. I know this sounds like a fairy tale and all fake right? But it's not and it's real and has happened right in front of your eyes...
You can watch some of it on Youtube. You can watch some of my MMA fights that my ex-gf was taping. You can hear her cheering for me. It's her voice that I would listen for before each fight. As long as I heard her voice cheering for me over anyone elses I would be ready to fight anyone to the death. I was ready to battle the world all for her as long as she was by my side.
I had a lot of money before but I didn't have my True Love and I wasn't happy. I might make more money now then I've ever seen in my whole life thanks to Davida at ABC. But without my princess, my True Love to share it all with, it's pointless. My whole point in being here on earth is to be your knight in shinning armor and slay the dragon and return with all of the riches of the world for you. That is what I was trying to do for my ex-gf. I told her in our 20s that I would become something amazing with my life and to stay by my side and she didn't. It was her choice to leave me. I asked for her to come back to my side before she jumps on other dude dicks in our 30s and she didn't and never came to my side when I was battling for my life against cancer...
So what do my books and me being a knight and battling dragons have to do with the Bachelorette and ABC you ask? Well everything...I am going to become a star on the Bachelorette and it's all because I am not a shallow, loser, boy like the ex-girlfriend called me as she left me for other dude dicks.
I go on Bachelorette and she picks me because of who I am and what I'm all about. Then it comes down to me and three other dude dicks for her to chose from. She wants to sleep with all three of us and then decide who she will take. Well there you go...if this is True Love there is no choice...there is no one else that you want to sleep with ever. I know I experienced it. So if I fall for the Bachelorette and feel that she is the love of my life she can't sleep with any other men then me...ever again. That's what my ex-gf has done...she's with me for a while then she leaves and gets fresh dude dick in her and then comes back and it's fucked up. That's not what inspires me to write, that's not what True Love is, and that old tired cliche is all that I ever want to write about in all of my books.
So, if I go on Bachelorette and I fall for her and she decides to sleep with other dude dick just like my ex-gf, there is no way that I can sleep with her. It is the integrity of me and all of my books. If I fall for the Bachelorette and she fucks other dudes and then I fuck her, please never buy my books in the future.
This is the ultimate test, show, stage to show the world that I am not the shallow, loser, boy that the ex-gf called me...

And if the Bachelorette passes me by and I never make it to Kim Kardashian to fist...you'd be surprised how many girls will, there are some things I still miss about my ex-gf.
If I make it and Davida calls me to go to Hollywood and I make it on to Bachelorette and maybe a spin off to Bachelor or a Lifetime movie about my story and I pen the $10million book deal with a Random House. When I show back up at the Book Expo of America at the Javits Center in NYC to do MY book signing and there is the biggest line the BEA has ever seen and security guards are asking, "Who the hell is this author causing these kind of crowds? Is it Stephen King? Is it Mary Higgins Clark?" Some one in the crowd will shout at the security guards, "No it's Jason William Mitchiner the baddest mother fuckin author on this planet!" And when I show up for my book signing dressed head to toe in Banana Republic as your preppy yuppie but then wearing my giant platinum chain with the initials JWM and my platinum grill in my mouth. If I hear anyone in the crowd say, "Oh he just got lucky and got on a reality show and got a book deal like Snooki." Can you punch that person in the face for me? This has been the most painful, torturous, dramatic, stressful, journey ever.

I'm going to make sure to tell my son, "You can read books but promise me you will never write one."

Tweetating! App for the appetite of the Single n Mingle.

2012-01-05T14:13:00.008-05:00

I go out at night and one of my favorite things to do is to take a picture of a girl and put it up on Twitter and then try to pick her up and Tweet if I succeed or get shot down. It turns picking up girls into a fun game that I love doing. It is some what controversial. I've gotten into fights with dudes when it turns out the chic I'm taking pics of and going to hit on turns out to be his girlfriend and girls can also view this as immature childish behavior right? This is where everyone is wrong and where the future is going. I'm ahead of my time and I'll explain why.
I was out last night at Bacca, a new bar in Asbury Park NJ and I was waiting for my date to arrive and having some fun on Twitter while I wait. The girls across the bar from me where busy on their smart phones too and then I noticed this beautiful brunette that was with her butch lesbian partner. When the butch partner went to the bathroom the brunette kept looking at me and I could feel the blood rush through my body to my toes. I also noticed the girls across the bar looking at me and texting. Now in my past before I got cancer and wasn't taking dating seriously, I would hit on every girl that looks at me until my date gets there and turn the scene into a pretty big disaster. Example: The butch partner comes back to the table and I'm sitting at her seat hitting on her partner. Then I'll make my way over to the girls at the bar and hit on them till my date gets there and now everyone is super pissed at me. This whole scene has happened to me a lot at Martell's/Jenks minus the hot lesbian chic. But now thanks to Tweetating this whole scene can be avoided. I'll explain how now.
Have you ever done online dating before? You basically never know what you are going to get until your date shows up in the flesh. You can text/email/talk on the phone/even sext all day and night but until you meet in the flesh you have no idea if there is any real chemistry. Now when I go out at night, like Downtown in Red Bank which is a pretty big meat market, I have to fight my way against all of the dude dicks that I'm competing with and getting over the women wall of friends to finally get to the hot chic I'm after. All that work is super exhausting and a lot of times not even worth the effort.
So...back to the scene last night at Baca Bar in Asbury Park. The two cute girls are looking at me across the bar and the super hot lesbian chic is looking at me while her partner is in the bathroom. We all pull out our smart phones and sync up on Twitter or something. We combine online dating with going out. We all see each other and like what we see, there is that instant attraction that you miss in online dating. Then instead of me going up to all of the girls and making a scene I can text you hello and that I'm interested in you. That way the hot lesbian chic can give me her info while her partner is in the bathroom and the two cute girls at the bar can do so also if they like. I can text one of the cute girls that I'm really interested in her with out her friend knowing it or getting offended. Like when I go out and hit on the one hot chic all of her friends get pissed at me that I'm just giving her all of the attention. Now we can avoid all of this. The super hot lesbian chic that is alone for the moment, when her partner comes back from the bathroom, I'm not sitting in her partner's seat and everything is nice and calm for her partner, but mean while I have all of the super hot lesbian chic's info and will make sure to hit her up at a later date. Then I can txt all of the girls that I just contacted that I'm waiting for my date and we she arrives I will need to give her all of my attention like a nice gentleman. Good right?! Brilliant! Tweetating...please someone invent the app. Got to be possible, we have four square and that is nice for your little group of friends to let them know where you are at all the time, but we need something else to sync up all of our phones for the singles like me at the spot we are at to txt/chat. And if you are in a serious relationship or your date has arrived just dont turn on the app, simple. But if we can get this app going damn...Tweetating folks.

I'm on Bachelorette death watch. They told me by mid January that they will let me know if I'm headed to Hollywood as a finalist. I'm checking my emails and looking at my phone constantly for Davida the senior producer of ABC. I'm so worried that all my Naked Author stuff might be over the top for ABC. I'm just having fun with my life, I'm glad to still be alive, have a job, and I have big dreams...I'm not here to hurt anyone in any way not with my writing or anything. Even my ex-girlfriend...I'm devastated by her actions in our 20s and now in our 30s and not being by my side when I was fighting cancer. But what is done is done and I'm so lucky to have experience True Love on my part with her. Now I'm on a quest to find it again, whether it's on ABC, through the internet, or going out. I'll take it any way I can get it when I find it. But please ABC come on! I'll be such a good boy on the show...I'm dying.

I love Italian chics or if you have some Italian in you. Luckily NJ/NYC is the mecca for them. They are everywhere. They have such great T and A and great mouths. But that mouth that is so good at one thing can also come back and bite you in the ass because they wont close it sometimes. But that's good for me, we all know I can get de-railed and need it sometimes to get back on track. Then there are hardcore German chics and beautiful Brazilians, and don't forget the gold digging hot Russians, and...my list can circle the globe...I need to find the love of my life and get back to writing...but then I need a book deal to write a book. Can't do one without the other.

1. Got to find the True Love of my life(come on ABC!!!)
2. Got to land the book deal
3. Got to write the books

Chasing Stars or am I a Star on ABC?

2012-01-04T05:53:00.006-05:00

My ex-girlfriend and I were both 20yrs old and lying in my bed in my room at my foster parent's house in Red Bank, NJ. I had sticker stars all up in my bedroom and my ex-girlfriend and I were looking at the stars on the ceiling of my room naked as we often did back then together. I said to her, "I am a huge meteor burning through space and I am going to become something huge, magnificent in my life. I don't know what yet, but I will be something amazing with all of my energy, creativity and talent that I have. Or I will blow up trying...just promise me you will always stay by my side through it all." My ex-girlfriend said, "I promise."
My ex-girlfriend left me shortly after when she turned 21 and got new dude dick every time she went out at night without me...

The moment has arrived in my life where we will see if I will be going off to Hollywood all expenses paid as a finalist with ABC for Bachelorette. If I accomplish this, it's sort of like winning the lottery. Everyone at work keeps asking me when I'm going to be on TV. People say things like, "Over New Year's there were Bachelor commercials and I was screaming, 'I know someone going on that show!'" This is all overwhelming at this point. The pressure to make it is overwhelming. It's all out of my hands. I keep second guessing myself if some of the things I write and have done over the internet might have bitten me in the ass...but it's too late for that. I like writing what I write and if I tried to change what I write or how I write I'd stop. My three best friends are God, the Devil, and Jesus Christ and we will all party together either in Heaven and Hollywood or straight to Hell. ABC said that they will contact me by mid January to let me know if I'm going to Hollywood. They told me to have my passport and drivers license up to date till 2013, they are. I put in my time off work for the end of January for Hollywood. Now I just need ABC to contact me and give me the green light. Come on God don't fail me now...all the other times you did when I called on you as a kid I will let go as long as you pull through now. You were spot on God about me beating cancer but the pressure of this is even worse...

My New Year's Resolution-To Know My Son

2012-01-01T14:57:00.004-05:00

God told me if I changed my ways all of my dreams will come true. I keep asking myself what does god mean by changing my ways? I'm never going to stop going out with girls, I'm a single man, a bachelor. But I understand now god means that if I'm going to start a relationship with a girl that I can't just kick her to the curb anymore like I have all women for my ex-girlfriend when she decides she wants to get off other dude's dicks and come back to mine. I kicked my ex-wife to the curb to be with my ex-girlfriend and now I understand I also did that to my son. I agreed for my ex-wife to move to Maryland with my son so she could re-marry with her husband who lives and works in Maryland so she could move on and hopefully be happy again.

I hear all of these people with their new year resolutions and I couldn't think of one for me. Get in great shape? I am thanks to MMA. Write a book? I've written four and two are in the making I just need True Love to inspire me again to write them. Become rich and famous? I'm making that happen right now as your read this blog thanks to ABC.
I was out last night for New Year's and living it up in every way you can imagine that I like to live it up. When I woke up in the morning at the pretty young girls place she put on a movie, 2012 starring John Cusack. Its about a dad that is a struggling author that not many people have read his books and he is consumed in his own world of writing them and trying to make it and failed at his marriage that he had two kids with his ex-wife who is re-married. The end of the world is coming and John Cusack is able to save the day. But the movie is made for dads, all of the fuck up dads that get consumed by their dreams and sometimes aren't always the best daddies but down at their core all of the dads do love their children, just some of them it took the end of the world to finally show it for their children....
I was crying uncontrollably in front of this girl. The young, pretty girl I was with couldn't really relate and I wouldn't expect her to.

I have a son out there somewhere in the world. He lives in Maryland. I don't get to see him that often. 2xs a month I get to pick him up, late Friday night 7pm then he goes to sleep, I get him all day on Saturday and then return him on Sunday. I basically get my son for 2 full days a month. I'm only allowed to talk to him on the phone at 7pm at night every other day for 30min. If I call a minute early no one picks up and if I can't call at 7-730pm I have no chance of talking to him again. Imagine if that was your kid that you couldn't just pick up the phone and talk to when you felt like it or for him to call you? My son tells me that he cries for me at night sometimes and I tell him he can always call me but it never happens. I didn't realize agreeing for my ex-wife to move to Maryland to move on with her husband to be happy meant that I would be so alienated from my own son.

Well this is all bullshit. I know I've been hyper focused on becoming rich and famous and landing my own $10million Snooki book deal. I work at Gannett and I make a salary and commission. I was thinking of getting a new car just for dates. Forget it. All my money is going to higher the best lawyers I can to fight for my rights to see and communicate with my son more often again. I use to see him and talk to him every day until he was 4yrs old. Now he is 6, I can't really tell you I know who my own kid is anymore...
Sorry if this was a sad post but its real.
My New Years Resolution is to know my son again at all cost!

New Year with me on ABC Reality TV? God Help Me!

2011-12-31T11:21:00.009-05:00

After my cancer surgery on 8/25/11 I had to wait until 9/12/11 to find out if it had spread to my lymph nodes and cancer was going to kill me. The day after my surgery I walked down to the edge of the earth during Hurricane Irene and met with god in 40mph winds and 40ft seas. I asked god if I would beat cancer and he told me I would. Now instead of facing life and death of living and dying by cancer, I am facing life and death of my dreams living or dying by ABC.
This is the most exciting time of my life where I can finally see all of my dreams coming true but its also the most nerve racking because all of my dreams can come to an abrupt end now as well if ABC decides to go on without me. They said, "You will be contacted between late December and mid January." Well December is coming to an end and it will be mid January before we know it. And now doubt and insecurities are creeping back in...the producers know my story and were excited for my book but maybe my whole Naked Author act on Youtube is too much for ABC? I don't know what will happen at this point and I had to meet with God today on New Year's Eve and ask him what will be my fate with the new year approaching? This is what transpired...
Me: "Hello there God? You busy up there in heaven or got a moment for me? It's Jason, the dude that came to you after I had my cancer surgery during the hurricane."
God: "Hello my child, I see you aren't looking as peakish like last time you came to see me after your surgery."
Me: "Thank you God. I'm starting to feel full strength again, but the reason I've come to you today is because...well you know how you told me I'd beat cancer after my surgery and you were right about that?"
God: "Of course, I told you to not make any more deals with the devil and change your ways and you will beat cancer and all of your dreams will come true."
Me: "That's it God, see you were right about me beating cancer and now all of my dreams might actually be coming true thanks to producers of ABC. But now I'm having doubt. Are you sure all of my dreams are going to come true still?"
God: "Jesus Christ Jason was I right or wrong about you beating cancer? And do you think I will be right or wrong about all of your dreams coming true? Am I not God?"
Me: "Umm you've got a point there God."
God: "Well there you go and now you know your answer. Have faith in me my child."
Me: "Ok God, thanks, just some times I can get de-railed."
God: "Come to me anytime you need to Jason except when the sky is red. That means that God is taken care of business up here in the heavens with one of my angels I've created."
Me: "Really God?! There are hot angels to fuck in heaven?"
God: "Come on Jason, this is Heaven, it's nothing but hot angels up here to fuck. Just make sure you don't slip up down there when all your dreams come true and you end up on your way to hell again making deals with the devil. You don't even want to know what you end up fucking in hell."
Me: "Damn. One last thing to ask you god, umm, well remember I had my ex girlfriend who left me when I had cancer surgery to get fucked by other dude's dicks? Well who is going to be my next True Love? Am I ever going to find that again on TV on ABC?"
God: "Jason it will all work itself out. Once again have faith in me. Word on the street the Devil even got a piece of your ex-girlfriend. You will find your next True Love. I can see her and she is fucking hot! She looks as good as some of my angels up here in heaven I'm banging."
Me: "Really! What does she look like? Does she have big tits and a great ass how I like? Is she white trash hot like Jewel, or elfish hot like Jessica Biel, or Mediterranean hot like Kim Kardashian?"

Lighting crackled across the sky and God's voice came thundering down upon me.

God: "Look at you Jason such a greedy fuck sometimes. I told you all of your dreams will come true and now you want to know everything. Have faith in me my child."
Me: "Ok ok, sorry there God. I got a little excited. Umm how old is she between 16-35yrs old? I don't seem to get a long too well with girls my age, they use a word with me I seem to have trouble grasping, called maturity...you know anything about that God?"
God: "Don't worry about all of that Jason, once all of your dreams come true all the girls are not going to have any trouble grasping anything of yours. Just remember to not be a fool and cover your tool!"
Me: "Ok God, got it! Thanks!"
God: "Yeah you don't want to end up like me and forget one time and then suddenly I'm stuck with Jesus Christ baby for all eternity. I never got to have that proud Father-Son moment when he married a chic and I could say, 'I'm proud of you son.' And when he was on earth he was always running all over town telling everyone, 'I'm the son of God! I'm the son of God!' There is a reason I left his ass high and dry up on the cross."
Me: "Damn...that is tough. But even you slip up sometimes God?"
God: "It happens to the best of us Jason. But if you slip up and end up with a Jesus Christ baby all of your dreams come to an end. So remember my warning and change your ways and all of your dreams will come True."
Me: "Ok God. I feel better. Thank You!"
God: "Remember no Jesus Christ baby for you!"

Fuck the Resurrection of Jesus Christ it's the Resurrection of Jason William Mitchiner aka Naked Author

2011-12-28T14:17:00.011-05:00

I was left for dead this time last year by the world. I picked myself back up and then cancer tried to kill me. It's taken me 10yrs of my life from writing my first book and trying to figure out how I'm going to become a legitimate author and put my books in every book store across the nation and now the moment might have arrived...

The producers of ABC, everyone in the world that reads my blog, watches me on Youtube, and everywhere else all know what my goal is and what I am ultimately trying to accomplish...to sign the $10million Snooki book deal but not just for one book that is written by someone else, I'm in this for the long haul. I want to turn my 4 books into 40 for the next 40 years. I didn't just pick up writing for the fun of it. I've been writing forever and when I was 9 living in CA I met authors and decided right then that I will be an author. If I could go back in time I would never have picked being an author. If I could pick my talent I'd pick singing...put that on Youtube. Who wants to watch a nearly naked dude suffering with his books like the loser my ex-girlfriend called me.

My ex-girlfriend loved throwing in my face that I live in a fantasy world and not reality because I believed in myself and my books that I could make my dreams come true and sign a book deal for my beloved books that I've written. She told me to quit, walk away from my dreams, and kill my books. And for her I was...but it wasn't good enough she still wanted other dude's dicks. Well the reality is I have met the producers of ABC. The reality is they know my story and have my fourth book, That's all HE wrote that they asked me for. The reality is I may be going on national TV and maybe a spin off to the Bachelor or something else?

But how? How am I going to do it? The producers asked me if I watched Bachelor(ette). I told them no, I'm busy at night fighting MMA and writing books, I've never watched Bachelor(ette). But girls are filling me in fast. They told me if I go on and I'm shouting, "I'm the Naked Author Jason William Mitchiner! The greatest author of my generation! Give me my $10million book deal for my books I've written bitches!" The Bacherlorette will boot me right off the show. I've been told there has been a wrestler that was all into being a wrestler and singers and others that were trying to promote themselves. So how am I going to do it ladies and gentlemen? How the hell am I going to survive the cuts with the Bachelorette? My own friends tell me I don't stand a chance. They say things like they will set their DVRs to record the first episode because that is as far as I'll go. I know all of my short comings. They are pointed out by everyone, I'm lucky to have any hair on my head after all I've suffered through in life, I have wrinkles, I'm not perfect and beautiful. I know all of these things. I look in the mirror every day and see all of my flaws internally and externally. But I also know what I am...and I'm on a fucking mission that neither God nor Satan can keep me from accomplishing. I show up in Hollywood I'll put Shirley Temple to shame until they name an alcoholic drink after me.

If I'm going to Hollywood as a finalist I'm showing up ready to sing, write, fight, fuck until Hollywood doesn't want me anymore. Whatever ABC asks of me it will be done. But how am I going to make the cuts on the Bachelorette you ask? Simple...True Love will win it all for me. I had it once, I know what it's like. It's not made up. For all the things I've ever called my ex-girlfriend and the thought that she willingly chose to put other dude's dicks in her mouth, pussy, and ass over me destroyed me. She did that to me in our 20's and I forgave her and now she has done it to me again in our 30's and when I got cancer and there is no forgiving that ever...but I can't ever take away from her the feelings that I got from her from the moment I saw her at Sandy Hook, NJ. Every cliche you have ever heard I felt. The smell of her hair, the taste of her skin, the sound of her voice hit me like no other woman ever has. I'm on a quest to find that again. If I get everything I've ever dreamed of and we all know how big my dreams are what's the point if I don't have True Love to share it with? It's the reason I want to battle the world, I am your knight that will slay the dragon and return with all of the treasures of the world for you. What am I going to do with all the treasures by myself? When I get in the cage to battle someone, I listen for True Love's voice cheering for me, I look for her smiling face before combat. For her I will fight to my death, True Love is worth it. BUT and I mean a BIG GIANT BUTT like corn fed, rice and beans BUTT!!! Let's say I make the cuts with the Bacherlorette and ABC has picked my next True Love. The woman I feel all those things I've only felt with my ex-girlfriend and then the Bachelorette fucks other dudes and I have to follow that up? What will I do? My ex-girlfriend could have came back to me the whole year I kept trying to get her back. We stayed in contact and she kept teasing me, but the moment she told me she willingly chose other dude dick over mine and she won't be by my side during cancer-that was the end. No going back to her ever again. That is True Love 101. 1. If it is True Love, there is no other person you ever want to be with except for your True Love. Unless you are rapped, there is zero reason that you shouldn't be with your True Love over another person. 2. If you are mortally wounded and death is a very real possibility like me when I had cancer, you must be by your True Love's side. No way around that one people. You can't decide to fuck another person and be with your 'True Love' in spirit.

So what do I do if I accomplish the impossible with the Bachelorette and make the cuts and fall in love with her and then she fucks other dudes? Will I suck it up and just fuck away like I do with all girls that I'm with that aren't my True Love? Or do I walk away from the Bachelorette like I did my ex-girlfriend and tell her she broke True Love 101? Or does the Bachelorette pick me and only me to sleep with because we have REAL TRUE LOVE together forever?

I don't know? But I do know this. My ex-girlfriend loved throwing my failures in my face with my books and she gave me this famous line when I was at rock bottom, "How'd that work out for you?"
Well ladies and gentlemen we will all find out together now wont we? Hopefully it will all be on ABC and we will see how this "shallow, loser, boy"s dreams all work out for him...

Cancer while we wait for ABC to Call

2011-12-20T16:22:00.008-05:00

I'm in waiting right now for ABC to contact me and send me to Hollywood and perhaps make all of my dreams become my reality. Do I think I'm going to Hollywood...yeah I do. I've been having fun while I wait. When I go on dates with girls before and I told them, "I wrote some books that I've self published them on Amazon and I promote them on Youtube as the Naked Author." Girls respond with, "Gee that is neat-o. What kind of car do you drive?" I've heard the phrase that I suffer from 'Peter Pan Syndrome' thrown at me by quite a few girls... And now when I go out on dates and I tell girls, "I wrote some books that I've self published and I read them and gave a copy of my book to the Senior Executive Producers of ABC that asked for it." The girls look at me like they have giant UFO saucers in their eyes and they are seeing the supreme alien right in front of them and I can read their mind as they are saying, "Who the hell is this guy? And where the fuck did he come from?" And in my head I'm saying, "Of course I brought my books to the producers of ABC and read them to them and gave them copies, I'm Goddamn Jason William Mitchiner Ladies! Where have you all been?"
Life has been fun. Girls want to flash me their big boobs great, I'll take pics. If I see some hot NYC chic's butts in black leggings and boots I'll take some pics. I took my son up to the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center and all over NYC. I'm having the time of my life right now compared to where I was this time last year. I love my company and all of my co workers and they keep asking me if I'm going to Hollywood. I might even up grade my automobile soon, nothing crazy like my old 500hp Cobra, but I am soooooooooooooo sick of every girl going crazy over my lil ol NA automobile that has been my warrior!
Life is unreal! Everything is going for me. I'm going to MMA and getting rocked because my head is already in Hollywood and thinking of all the things I need to do and say to accomplish my goals.

So I go to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital yesterday and have to get my 3 month exam. I have to get some chest xrays done and some other corny stuff. The doctors keep telling me that now that I have had cancer it could come back, really anywhere the fuck cancer wants...that sucks! I now get serious anxiety going into the cancer ward, it brings back serious trauma. But the absolute worst. What killed me yesterday and I can't shake...I walked around the whole hospital because it was cold outside and I had to walk by the Children's Ward of Robert Wood Johnson Hospital. This nurse was walking a little boy about my son's age and she said, "I really like your hair cut." And the little boy was trying to walk to the nurse the best he could after chemotherapy. I lost it in the hospital and I still don't have it together or that image out of my head. I was going to take a pic with my smart phone so you could see exactly what I'm writing but I couldn't do it...I was fucking crying and I still am.

Fine, cancer can kill my ass, I'm ok with it. I'm not saying I want to die and that certainly isn't my #1 choice (I like the thought of a beautiful woman that is obsessed with me and all of my written work and decides to kill me rather then share me with the rest of the world after we make love). But if cancer does kill me I am ok with it. I've slept with a lot of wonderful women (except my ex wife but she did give me my son, and my ex girlfriend, who left me for other dude's dicks but at least she was hot and I tore through that while I got it-bitch!). I have my dreams and I have been given an opportunity to perhaps live them all out. I have my body coming back to me and I'm getting MMA strong again and fighting, surfing, and doing all the things I love again with my body.
But these kids that have cancer they didn't even get a chance to start a dream, let alone live it out. It just fucking destroys me. I'm going to get the name of the 11yrld blond hair, blue eye'd girl that I found out has cancer in the brain the day I found out I beat cancer on 9/12/11. I'm going to write her name on the side of my kayak for when I cross the Atlantic ocean from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I'm going to do that for cancer awareness after Hollywood is done with me and I ride that wave for as long and hard as I can...more to come.
Sorry...FUCK CANCER-Bitch!

Next Stop Hollywood end of January!

2011-12-10T14:23:00.004-05:00

It was my worst nightmare...walking into an audition and its nothing but good looking dudes coming and going out of the auditions. You don't get called into the Bachelor(ette) auditions unless you are good looking. All week I was stressing how am I going to separate myself from all these other tools that are auditioning for my spot? And the world is full of these tools and yesterday they were all thrown in my face. I wanted to puke. There were dudes coming out of the auditions and hugging each other and saying, "Bro we are going to be roomies!" Don't come up to me for a 'Bro Hug'! I'm not your Bro. Go Bro yourself! This is competition. I want your ass kicked to the curb. This isn't a game to me this is my one shot in life to make all my dreams come true...and I'm going to seize the opportunity.
They took all their head shots and body shots and put me on camera...but then I started to share my story with everyone. There were two producers and two other from the casting team. I captivated the room. I read a passage from my first book that I wrote about Love. "You can't ever own love; you simply borrow love when it comes to call. Sometimes you find love just for a short while. You play with it, add to it, and try to put your arms around it. Sometimes it slips away from you to someone else. Some people borrow love for a life time and release it at death. That's why love feels so right-it never dies, it just gets passed on to a new soul." Then I said, "I'm on a quest to find True Love again. I had it once and it slipped away. I need it in my life to inspire me to write my books and battle the world for all of it's treasures to give to her."
There is no other tool in the world that showed up and did what I have done. I shared my story with the producers and they want to read my book. I gave them my pink book, That's all HE wrote. Ladies and gentlemen...what you are reading now has become a fairy tale. My book is in the hands of the ABC producers, they want my story, and we will all find out if they want me. I don't know what the out come of all of this will be...but to have been able to share my story and get the producers of ABC excited enough about me and reading my book is unreal. To go from the streets hustling my books to now this...I don't know where this fairy tale is going to take me but I never want it to end.
If the producers pick me, I fly out to Hollywood end of January all expenses paid as a finalist for Bachelor(ette).
My head is spinning, what I just accomplished was unreal, where it all takes me...?

If you had one shot to make it would you? I get mine Fri, Dec 9th NYC Bachelorette

2011-11-30T08:44:00.005-05:00

"Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
Yo" -Lose Yourself- Eminem

Hi Davida,
It was great speaking with you last night! Thank you so much for this opportunity of A LIFETIME!!!
I look forward to our meeting Friday, December 9th @5:30pm and I'll text you when I arrive.
See you soon and THANK YOU!
Jason
nakedauthor.com
naked@nakedauthor.com
-----Original Message-----
Date: 11/29/2011 08:29 PM
To: Naked@nakedauthor.com
Subject: Meeting in NYC on Friday, December 9th @ 5:30 PM
Hi Jason,
It was a pleasure speaking with you today. I am emailing you to confirm our meeting in New York on Friday, December 9th @ 5:30 PM. Email me back to confirm this was received.
You dont need to bring anything with you. When you arrive at the hotel text me on my cell phone. Please allow 30 minutes for the meeting. I look forward to seeing you in NYC next week. Have a nice day.
Kind Regards,
Davida
--
Davida
Senior Casting Producer
The Bachelor on ABC
Tel: 310.
Fax: 310.
Website: www.thebachelor.tv

All in people...I seal the deal with Davida the Senior Casting Producer next Friday and next stop Hollyweird and Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner goes on national TV and I get to share my story, my life with the World...

Davida knows all about Naked Author and my self published historical fiction romance books I've written trying to get a book deal. I get to tell her about growing up in Foster Care, becoming a successful ad sales man and self published author, banging on the world to get a book deal, and then losing everything, dusting myself off getting back on my feet, then finding out cancer is trying to kill me, having the girl I thought was my 'True Love' leave me for other men while I fight for my life beating cancer and now...now...now...we will all see won't we...

Are you not entertained? You reading my blog? I've given you romance, death, success, failure, dreams coming true. This blog might make a good book eh?

I know what you are thinking there is no way I'm going to pull all of this off. No way I'm going to be on national TV and share my story and capture a beautiful woman's heart and make it past the first round and then the next and the next and next...no way I'm going to get the book deal and write historical fiction inspired by True Love for the rest of my life...but there is a person that made all of her dreams come true and she never even had to write a page of her own book...In Snooki I Trust.

Worse then finding out if I'm going to Die from Cancer

2011-11-28T14:20:00.009-05:00

9/12/11 I had to go to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital and find out if cancer had reached my lymph nodes that they removed from my left arm. I found out that my aggressively metastasizing cancer hadn't reached my lymph nodes and I beat cancer! "God" was right. "God" told me if I'm a good boy and stop playing with the devil all of my dreams will come true...(Just for everyone's clarification there is no God, like the man in the sky with a lightning bolt pointed at my ass. "God" is me, it's my inner "God", my voice of reason when I meditate and take time for clarity in my ultra hyper warp speed life).

When I sent in my Survivor audition tape before the Oct 4th deadline I told everyone at work and for the rest of October every day I would be asked, "Did you hear back from Survivor." Well now I HAVE HEARD BACK from Bachelorette it is a million times worse! Everyone at work, Fed Ex, Dunkin Donuts (I get coffee from a pretty girl that her 11yrld sister is fighting cancer), and places I go out are all asking me, "So when do you go on? What's next?" I DON'T KNOW! I just faxed everything that Ashley the casting director wanted Wed. 11/23/11 10am to her. How long it will take to hear back from her is killing me...
I keep checking my emails for two things and keep re reading the emails that I have already received pertaining to these two life changing events...
1. I can't really mention yet. It's a longer process but one that will ultimately affect my day to day life in every way. Dream come true...and it's in motion.
2. Bachelorette 8 is also in motion. Some of my guy friends tell me I've got no shot at winning. Girls are telling me to stand out, do not play the True Love hopeless romantic author guy (nobody really likes that guy). Everyone is telling me I CAN NOT get booted off first round. Girls are telling me to stand out and make America love to hate me but not go over the top like I have the ability to do and make everyone hate me.

You think there is going to be pressure ladies and gentlemen? I got to rep Jersey, got to make a name for myself. This is my one shot to do it on national TV. Get the Snooki book deal but I have to spin this into longevity. I need the book deal for all of my future historical fiction that I will write for the rest of my life. I can't just let this be a one hit wonder. Like Snooki got the one book deal for $5million but there will never be Snooki book number two and three. Where with me that is exactly where I'm ultimately trying to drive all of this into...is the long term book deal for all of my books I've written and will write about great heroes of history with the fiction and romance of True Love.

So this is the pressure mounting and this is the stuff running through my head right now. Did anyone watch Family Guy last night? There was a scene where one of the Wright Brother's (The brothers that invented first flight at Kitty Hawk, Outer Banks NC 1903)girlfriend dumps Orville Wright and she is at a restaurant with her girlfriend and complaining saying, "Orville is always working on that stupid plane that he thinks will fly!" Her and her girlfriend begin to snicker together, then in the background you see the Wright brothers fly by in their airplane and Orville Wright yells out, "Look at me now Bitch!" The girlfriend and her friend stop laughing and look out the window. Then Orville flies the plane by his girlfriend again and shouts, "I'm sorry, I miss you, you are so pretty."
My god, I saw that last night and tears began running down my face as I was laughing so hard...I was thinking about my NA Dog Tag and the writing on the back of it, "How'd that work out for you." Quote from my ex girlfiend...
All of this, the broken nose, reality shows, standing in the snow in Times Square in Speedos and Spandex, banging on the doors of Random House, everything that I have done and am doing is because I believe I CAN make my books fly...pressure is on.

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Kayak Video Blog 2miles Out 2 Sea nakedauthor.com - YouTube

2011-11-25T15:43:00.000-05:00

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Kayak Video Blog 2miles Out 2 Sea nakedauthor.com - YouTube

Naked Author Bachelorette 8...thank God!

2011-11-22T16:05:00.005-05:00

After cancer "God" told me all of my dreams will come true...here we go!
Here's my correspondence with the Casting Producer of Bachelorette 8, Ashley.
Hi Ashley,
I did over night Fedex everything you asked for. You should receive it by 10am tomorrow.
Thanks so much for this OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TIME!!!!!
Jason
-----Original Message-----
From: "Ashley
Date: 11/21/2011 05:36 PM
To: jason
Subject: The Bachelorette 8
Hi Jason,
Please go ahead and mail back page 1 of the app along with a new DVD. Put attn: Ashley on the package.
Thanks,
Ashley
--
Ashley
Casting Producer
The Bachelorette 8
310.
www.thebachelor.warnerbros.com
ashley.

I spoke to Ashley the Casting Producer of Bachelorette on the phone last night and she wants me for Bachelorette 8 but apparently my DVD stopped mid way in the audition. On the application in huge bold words it reads, "PLAY YOUR DVD THROUGH BEFORE SENDING. MAKE SURE YOUR DVD WORKS!" Guess what I did ladies and gentlemen? I burned my DVD and mailed it right out. I was sending out Survivor, Big Brother, Bachelor(ette), Jersey Shore and Fear Factor auditions. I didn't have time to check much of anything. This has been non stop trying to get all of this accomplished. Do you know how F-ing luckey I am that Ashley stopped and called me to talk to me and get me to resend the DVD to her? She gets a KABILLION applications everyday...but mine she wants all of it ASAP. So here we go...

Friends are telling me there is ZERO way I'm winning Bachelorette. One of my friends that I go out with after work around Rutgers University, he has got all the great pick up lines with the ladies. He's smooth...I'm not. I rely on my dimples to win their hearts and the only pick up line I ever used is, "Hi." That's it. I'm an author, I need time to collect my thoughts and write it down. I'm not verbally quick on my feet...but on national TV...I better think of something clever or I'm out!

So all of the girls I'm talking to now, they fall into 1 of 2 categories. 1. They say things like, "How'd you like it if the shoe was on the other foot?" "You are going to become rich and famous and forget about me."
2. "Awesome!!!" "Go For It!!!" "Opportunity of a Life Time!!!" "You are going to become rich and famous and forget about me."
I'm talking to a lot of amazing women right now but I am in ZERO relationships with any girls and haven't been in a serious relationship since my ex-girlfriend a year ago.

So I know, all you tough guys, like Kelly Slater on Twitter and everywhere else pooh-pooh Bachelor(ette). Saying it's 'soft' or made just for chics. No my friends. Out of all of the Reality Shows I could have been picked for this is by far the greatest battle that I will be facing.
Jersey Shore- Easiest: Just run around banging chics, fight dudes, and party. Become famous, get book deal, get paid after show from sponsors.
Big Brother- Second Easiest: Sit around house, play a little game, party, and focus on one chic. Become famous, get book deal, win a million dollars, get paid after.
Survivor- Hard: Starve, suffer, and work hard at winning games and still playing the mental game. But this one would have probably been my best fit and best chance of winning. Become famous, get book deal, win a million dollars, and get paid after.
Bachelorette- Hardest: Beat out my competition of other tools and try to win the heart and mind of a beautiful woman with more then my dimples. Play the mental game against other dudes but at the same time trying to keep myself composed and classy for my lady. Chance of winning- ZERO. I get booted off on the first round...Don't become famous, no book deal, no winning a million dollars, don't get paid after.

But there is a Y - Variable with me...the unknown factor...the more someone tells me I can't do something, that I have no chance, you know what I'm going to end up doing...you know me. I've been told I've had no chance in MMA, getting a book deal, beating cancer, getting to the corporate top, kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ, winning Bachelorette...I got my second chance in life now let's all see what I can accomplish with it this time around, eh?

Let me check my balls...hold on...ahh...yep, same steally balls...some things will never change.

Lookin for Love in all the wrong places...

2011-11-21T16:33:00.005-05:00

HAHA BACHELORETTE JUST CALLED ME!!!!!! MORE TO COME!

This was sent to a beautiful Manhattanite that is sooooooooooooooooooo out of my league but we are talking a bit...and I've got to give her my best pitch, so here it is:

Yes you read my emails!
Allright here I go...I have to pick my words carefully as I will either live or die by them based on your decision (must be nice to be a hot chic, I have to do so much work to try to get a shot with you!)

I started dating seriously after I beat cancer, officially 9/12/11 when I was told it didn't spread to my lymph nodes. Since then I've dated beautiful, independent women from Hoboken and Manhattan and I've heard the two strikes against me before. 1. I'm divorced. 2. I have a son. And yet I've found a way for most women to over come these terrible strikes against me but I have yet to find the one woman that will capture all of my physical and mental stimulus like you clearly can, have, and hopefully will continue with me into the future. But alas you have now given me a 3rd strike, my tattoos...haha!

1. I am divorced, I was a poor kid from foster care and I married a girl for money and to better my life. It worked. I got divorced because I was always in love with my ex-girlfriend that I have 100% ended all communication with her when I got cancer and have decided to move forward with someone new in my life.
2. I have a 6 yrld son, Donovan, he lives in Maryland with the ex-wife and I only get to see him 4days a month, and the month of November I only got him for this past weekend. So I have a lot of freedom now to move, date, and be with most anyone, except maybe you of course if you choose to pass on me...:(

(I told her about my little secret I cant post yet)
If I get it, everything in my life changes...

I am a self published author that has pounded on the doors of Random House to try to get a book deal from Gina Centrello the president to no avail and then I watched Snooki from the Jersey Shore get a $5million dollar book deal for a book she never had to write. I've run some races in NYC barefoot with my books, I've marched around Javits Center at the Book Expo trying to get my name known. I fight MMA to make a name for myself. And now after beating cancer, I'm training to kayak from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ in my little 10ft Moken, (I need a dry suit).

Look when I'm in the city I see girls like you all the time, beautiful, blond, size zero, dressed in the best fashion from head to toe. I know we are two strangers and that my funny jokes or my romance novels I wrote doesn’t really impress you. I understand you want the most successful man that you can land and I want um...well...you. I get it, I know how all of this works now. I'm not going to be your most handsome GQ, suave guy...I have my tattoos, I have a scar on my back from getting cancer cut out of me. But what you will get out of me is the most driven, ambitious man on planet earth, right now today. I'm not just writing this, I'm doing it and living it as you read this...

I'm going to MMA in a bit to train for my next MMA fight. Give me my shot with you. That's all I want. All I ask. One shot with the beautiful Manhattanite that is out of my class...
But if you pick me to be by your side, I will make sure with every ounce of my mind, body, and soul that we are in a class of our own that no man can touch forever...
Jason

Good pitch for an elite Manhattanite woman?
1. I've got to get in the cage again after beating cancer. Imagine if I get my first MMA win after I beat cancer? Remember back in the day on Youtube I called out Lance Armstrong in the NY Marathon (I wanted the publicity back then). Now I would have my own cancer/sports story to share. Ironic, eh?
2. Kayak from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ and live after beating cancer. If I die doing this, I'll just be remembered as a tool, an idiot. If I do this and live, well then I've got a cool story.
3. Get a dream of mine to come true and go from the bastard son of NYC to being taken under it's wing for good...changing my life forever.
These three are my reality what I can control...getting on a Reality Show, getting the book deal, and getting the ultra elite Manhattanite are all posibilities but they are all out of my control.

I'll keep you posted!
Cheers!

Only In Dreams?

2011-11-19T14:34:00.009-05:00

My dreams are slowly starting to come true...
I'm getting the opportunity of a lifetime...nothing to do with the Reality Shows. This has everything to do with my reality of my day in and day out life regardless if my Reality Show dreams come true...
We will see where all of this takes me and I will share it all when I can...

It was this time last year that I was face down in the dirt. Remember this time last year? Johnny Law was coming for me for not mowing my lawn! HAHA, sorry I had a little bit more on my mind like getting a job and trying to save my relationship with my ex-girlfriend! So funny now. The taste of dirt in my mouth from back then will never leave me for the rest of my life. I don't want to just have a come back after all that I've gone through. I want a come back of biblical proportions. I want Jesus Christ to recognize me and say, "God Damn Naked Author! Great Job!"
I lost it all this time last year, then I landed my job, then cancer tried to kill me. I beat it all!!! And now...now...now...oh just you wait...

And now I'm dating all of these beautiful women in the city and everywhere else and they want the most successful man they can land. That is how it works. I got it. So long True Love. I never expected to be in the dating pool as a 35yrld, divorced dad. I thought I would be with my 'True Love' but that's not how this story goes. I've noticed in Manhattan I'm the dating underdog, I don't have the GQ looks, the deep pockets or the suave lines and penthouse. But what if my pockets became a little deeper? What if I looked a little dapper and carried myself with some confidence knowing I've sat on the devil's lap and he kicked me off because he wants nothing to do with me anymore?
I do have a bit of resentment growing inside of me with all of these girls I'm starting to date. Where were these girls when I was less then zero? Where were they when I was battling cancer for my life? Where were they when I was battling the world in a speedo for a book deal? They all get to enjoy the good times with me now...and it's only because I'm tasting success now that they are even with me. True Love is gone forever and without it I have no passion to write my novels, I don't have the drive to write about Navarro in Spain fighting his way to rescue Dionisa (check my blog, jasonmitchiner.blogspot.com). I have no passion to write about Jason Mitchiner the drug smuggling sea captain without love in my life (again check my jasonmitchiner.blogspot.com for that book).

My dreams are all headed in the right direction but I have lost all love and passion in my life. I almost feel like going back to my old ways of not caring about what girl I see and just using girls to occupy my time. But I won't..."God" is watching.

I checked the tides for the weekend of Thanksgiving to kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ and I need to ship out an hour before low tide but low tide isn't until 4pm on Saturday 11-27-11 and that is no good. I want to accomplish this so bad. This is something I have to do.

For any girl that doesn't get this, Naked Author, my books, Youtube, mma fighting, kayaking across from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. This is all my drive to accomplish something great in my life while I'm still here. If I lose a relationship or 5,000...so be it! I've nearly quit so many times, I've sat in corners crying by myself with no one to comfort me. I've done all of this on my own. There have been girls in my life but they come and they go all the time...I don't know if there is one out there that will stay with me through it all...well there was the ex-wife but thank God I got rid of that one! HAHA.

Cheers!

Grand Finale - fit for Naked Author

2011-11-17T08:55:00.019-05:00

"God" told me if I changed my ways after defeating cancer all of my dreams will come true...they kind of are...this is my Grand Finale.

I sent in my audition tapes for Survivor, Big Brother, Bachelor(ette), Jersey Shore, (Fear Factor I sent to the wrong address whoops). Survivor had a deadline of October 4th because they start shooting next year for fall 2012 season. The other Reality Shows don't have a deadline. This is a one shot deal, I'm not auditioning for Reality Shows year after year. It took so much work by Benton Stephens my motion graphics editor and myself to get all of this done. Either a producer for one of the shows pics me or this is my Reality right now what you are reading...

All of the girls that I date in the city and everywhere else want two things from me. Financial and mental stability. I will give you both. I have my career in ad sales and I will keep my dreams as my dreams and to myself. If all of these girls want these two things from me, then I want two things from you. I want your beauty and youth. I want a girl that hasn't been married and has no kids. Those are 'virgins' to me as a 35yrld divorced dad. I dated my 'True Love' who was divorced with a kid and it was a giant mess...I'll never go back to that. So True Love is dead? I'm moving forward with girls that are compatible and we make a good fit. Without True Love I can not write books, I have no passion to pen them. I think about True Love constantly and it haunts me. All is lost? But then a girl sent me this http://storycorps.org/animation/danny-and-annie/ . My books are filled with True Love and it is a tired cliche. But it is real and people do find it. It does exist for some. I thought I had it once...I don't know if I'll ever find it again...but I refuse to stop looking. Perhaps the heavens have sent it to me from Niteroi..?

Youtube-dual incomes from my day job in ad sales and Naked Author on Youtube. I went after the book deal from a Random House. I screamed, cried, and yelled for it till I turned red and blue in the face. But oddly enough I don't get paid really from writing my books, although I did make about $300 from my first book. I make dollars and cents from my blog and my videos now on Youtube. Youtube has allowed me to put my baby toe in the ring of getting paid for my video clips. Youtube wants me to grow my audience from 20+ subscribers to many more. If I can do that then Youtube will pay me directly and it will be substantial...can I do it?

My days of running around in Speedos and Spandex are done. That was all BC-Before Cancer. AC-After Cancer my life has changed. I will continue posting videos on Youtube and it will be my kayaking journey from Brooklyn to Sandy Hook and other adventures. I may still wear speedos and spandex in my video clips out of comfort or whatever but the only time you will catch me in public again doing that is if I get paid. When I wake up in the city after a date and I walk by the NYPL, I look up at the mighty pillars that I climbed barefoot in my Speedo and Spandex and I chuckle, that took some serious balls...and those are my balls!

Now I'm doing something else that requires those same steely balls, crossing the Ambrose Shipping Channel and making it from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I'm trying to do this as safely and calculated as possible. Without Ray Fusco's help it would have ended in disaster for me. Everything has to be perfect in order for me to cross the Atlantic safely. I'm trying to accomplish this over Thanksgiving weekend but I don't think the tides are going to co operate. I need a full day to paddle from sun up to sun down and even that might not be enough...any little thing goes wrong out there and no matter how much planning or people are behind me...this can all end in disaster.

I didn't beat cancer to die now...that's not my plan. I plan on doing this successfully, bring cancer awareness, and let's face it, I love the challenge. I'm so use to the role of the underdog, the chips stacked against me, me vs the world...what if I actually get it all? What if all of my dreams come true? Then what will I do with myself? How will I handle it? Can I handle it?

This is where I'm at right now, today. I think I'm headed in the right direction. The only warning I'll put up or disclaimer is that if I do hear back from one of the Reality Shows then all bets are off. Speedos and Spandex come flying at you and I go for broke as I march to the beat of the Snooki drum...the most retarded and obnoxious beat known to man.

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Video Blog Kayak 20kt wind 6ft swell nakedauthor.com - YouTube

2011-11-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Video Blog Kayak 20kt wind 6ft swell nakedauthor.com - YouTube

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Bachelor(ette) Audition nakedauthor.com - YouTube

2011-11-09T21:29:00.000-05:00

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Bachelor(ette) Audition nakedauthor.com - YouTube

You Got This Naked Author?

2011-11-07T15:46:00.008-05:00

Kayaked for two hours Sunday out into the open ocean. It was good to start taking all of Ray's advice and preparing for my adventure of kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. Boats running me over is a hazard...nobody in their boat on Sunday expected to see a kayaker out in the middle of the ocean. There is a buoy off Manasquan Inlet, a little over a mile out. I'm kayaking out there next Sunday to it and back to get my average speed buttoned down so I can get a better estimate of how long its really going to take me to do this Atlantic crossing...
I'm in MMA shape but I will tell you my shoulders are sore from so much kayaking and using different muscles then in MMA.
I partnered with Youtube, they are running ads now on all of my videos where I talk on them and I connected Youtube to my Google Adsense account but so far all it says for Youtube is, "No Data Available." I don't know if its a matter of time before I can see the monetization from ads running on my Youtube clips? I don't know, I know this is all alot of work, a serious second job keeping up this blog, website, and Youtube Video Blog. And what of my writing...my truth...my core...
I need True Love to inspire me, I can't write without it...
Staten Island Girl told me she doesn't like romance novels...well that's like saying you don't like me. I experienced True Love once and it was awesome. Its out there again for me but where shall I find it? A mermaid out there in the middle of the ocean? Someone waiting for me on the shore of Sandy Hook to embrace me forever?

I'll tell you this, now my eyes are open and I'm taking dating more seriously after cancer, no girl likes to date a 35yrld, divorced dude, with a kid from another woman, broke as a joke. They expect someone put together, mature, sophisticated, set. The happy hunting grounds of successful, young, beautiful, independent women of Hoboken and NYC you've got to step up to the plate against your competition or they will take all of the women away from you with one fatal swoop of their AMEX card. My competition has the GQ looks, has the deep pockets, the smooth lines and cars. I've got the scars, the broken nose, the pain, the suffering, the dreams...all filled with stories behind them. I'm good for one radical weekend in the city with the lovely ladies and then I'm broke and saying stuff to them like, "Yeah, I'll take you out again in about three weeks. Wait for me ok? Don't go out with anyone." I've got to get this figured out how I can bring in duel incomes from my day job in ad sales and through my books/writing/Naked Author stuff. I haven't heard back from the Reality Shows and if nothing happens by the end of the year, its safe to say they passed on me. I met Mary Jane Clark and she is a duel income mofo, she works for CBS by day and writes her novels at night and makes money doing it. I want to be that mofo! Think Think Think..."God" said all of my dreams would come true once I changed my ways so I should probably stop stressing about it...but does "God" know how big my dreams are...oh yeah I guess so, it's "God".

I liked dating when I didn't have any emotions invested in it...care free dating is radical! This serious dating is, well, serious. I still want to stay single and mingle in Spain but when the hell is that ever going to happen? Maybe when I'm kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ, I should make a hard left...

Video Blog Train Kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ - YouTube

2011-11-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

Video Blog Train Kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ - YouTube

What Would God Do?

2011-11-04T10:52:00.006-04:00

"God" told me if I changed my ways all of my dreams will come true.
I changed my ways and so far so good...the Youtube Gods have spoken and given me partnership with them. This is how it all works. I get one Google Adsense account and connect my blog, Youtube, and soon my website all to it and now get to see dollars and cents associated with Naked Author instead of just vanity, real money is now being generated by Naked Author. But here lies the rub...Youtube is where the real money is to be made. More Clicks on videos = More $$$ in my pocket.
The band, LMFAO - Sexy and I know it, has over 75 million clicks with ads running from Youtube, that alone, without anything else has them $SET$! So what do I do throw a little rap down about my hard times as a white guy dating hot chicks in the city broker then a mofo? I could see that generating some clicks...and that equals money. I have to reach a threshold before I get my first check from Youtube. And I will post it because of my cursed ego. Its not smart of me because any time I post that I might be getting a little back on my feet and might get some bling or go to Spain my ex wife serves me papers. Instead of going to Spain and surrounding myself with fiery, olive skin, black haired beauties...I'll be going to Maryland and surrounding myself with angry, leaching, black suited lawyers and explaining that I haven't made any money yet as the Naked Author or the amount of money I use to make before the economy went down the whirlpool...

Did I mention Ray Fusco in NYC is the man with my whole kayak adventure? Without his help...This would be my grand finale. I'm shooting for around Thanksgiving to kayak from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I have to plot water temp, how fast I'll be kayaking my lil 10ft Moken, currents, sun up to sun down, tides...a whole lot of everything and then there is the all mighty Ambrose Shipping Channel. That of course draws me to this whole adventure, yet another 'David VS Goliath'. Me and my little 10' Moken VS the Giant Shipping Freighters that if I get in their way, That's all HE wrote...everything about this kayak adventure draws me to it, this is romance, this is adventure, with the possibility of glory or tragedy...

My love life you ask? I'm awake now after beating cancer and my goal in any relationship I start from now on is not to be the, 'Shallow' 'Loser' 'Boy' that my ex girlfriend called me. But keep in mind she was with this shallow-loser-boy for two years so...
I'm on the search for someone that makes me feel the way I felt with her, but is that possible anymore? I was lucky to have shared it once with her. I guess now its more about finding someone that makes me happy and that her situation is compatible with mine. I definitely shouldn't write about girls that I'm seeing because no girl likes reading about the hot Russian Nurse and then the Russian Nurse doesn't like reading about NYC Gold and so forth...I should stop that...it really is relationship suicide...and that is not what I want to do AC- after cancer. Now after cancer and my eyes are open and I'm paying attention to who I'm going out with now and I appreciate all of these women. A woman in Long Island that keeps sending me pictures that I love, Manhattan women that have it all together, Hoboken chics that are super hip, Brooklyn women that are fly and get down, a Staten island chic that has her hair half blond and black and parties till I get a heart attack, the girls next door, all the girls on the shore...

What's better, to be shallow and never put your real feelings out there in the game of love or to finally open up with your real feelings but then you too can be played the fool?

Youtube is paying me. Now will other companies as well?

2011-10-31T12:07:00.008-04:00

Well now I've partnered with Youtube they are paying me for my video clips. So I started my Video Blog and I'm going to focus on three things.
1.Video Blog MMA Training and Fighting- after Cancer building myself up again to get into the Cage to Fight.
2.Video Blog Surfing- Especially winter surfing when the waves are bigger and the crowds are gone.
3.Video Blog Kayaking- preparing and kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ- after beating Cancer this is something that I want to do with my body to celebrate life and still being here.
By why stop there? Youtube is paying me for my Video clips that I talk on so why not do product placement? Product reviews? I just lost my GoPro HD underwater camera surfing. Why not get GoPro to send me a new one and do a video blog reviewing the camera and what I think of it? I'm as active as a man can be on this planet why not video and blog about everything that I wear and use?
From:
Banana Republic clothes
Quicksilver clothes and board shorts
Ripcurl wetsuits
Surfboards
Cameras
Cars? (I'll review a white Mercedes SL 500 and pick up my hot Russian Nurse in it...that'll be a fun video clip)
This list can go on and on. I can see money to be made talking about products that I use on top of getting paid by Youtube.

So this is where I'm at right now today. I love getting negative feedback over the internet. I find it so amusing...so easy to write negative stuff...but positive stuff comes far fewer and less often but when it does come, it means a lot to me. Now when I read anything negative all I hear in my head is, "Lalalalalalala I can't hear you. I'm making money off of all this now you idiot. Money trumps negativity."

The tired cliche money can't buy you happiness. Well I've had lots of money and I have had no money. Money pays the check at the end of a date, self published books do not. All of my books are inspired by True Love, I got to experience that once, and I need that in my life, without it I'm lost. I'm on a quest to achieve as much from both as I can with this second chance I've got at life.
"God" told me if I changed my ways after cancer all of my dreams will come true.
I have changed my ways and I have big dreams so...are you going to call "God" a liar?

Video Blog Surfing n Kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ - YouTube

2011-10-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

Video Blog Surfing n Kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ - YouTube

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Video Blog MMA Day nakedauthor.com - YouTube

2011-10-29T19:29:00.000-04:00

Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner Video Blog MMA Day nakedauthor.com - YouTube

Naked Author and Snooki Sex Tape? Take one for the Team? Sorry Hemingway!

2011-10-26T15:11:00.011-04:00

First off, I finally get the green light from Youtube to post my clips and I'll make like $.0000001 on every click I receive from ads running on them. So I'm all set to put my deposit on my new white Mercedes SL 500 and go pick up a dozen hot Russian women in Brooklyn and when I arrive at their place to pick them up in my car they will ask, "Yuue bye me present?" and I'll smile at them with my new platinum grill in my mouth...
I had my Survivor Audition tape set to go live on Youtube knowing that will be a hit. Everyone loves a good audition tape. My Bachelor(ette) audition is going to be so embarrassing but I'm sure it will be viewed many times and ripped a part. So I upload my Survivor audition tape and all set to make my first $1 off my Naked Author act-finally!!! Good right?!
Well Youtube had something to say about my first money generating clip...
Dear nakedauthor,
Thanks for submitting your video 63042684 for revenue sharing. We have disabled revenue sharing on this video for one of the following reasons:
You have not provided adequate documentation that you have the necessary rights to commercially use all the video material and music, or
We have determined that the content is not advertiser-friendly.
Note that YouTube might disable revenue sharing for accounts that have repeatedly not been able to prove commercial usage rights for videos submitted for revenue sharing.
Thanks for your understanding,
The YouTube Team

Jesus! As quickly as I got the green light from Youtube it can be taken away from me. Youtube doesn't want music in my clips, no logos, nothing but me...what the hell do I put on Youtube now, shark fucking? No...I know exactly what Youtube wants...they want this, they want my blog on Youtube called a video blog. That is what the girl does that makes bank from Youtube. I have 20+ subscribers, she has 800+. I get 10,000 clicks and she gets 1,000,000. That is what Youtube wants to see from me. They want me to video blog what I do, MMA, Surfing, Scuba Diving. I have to reach a target audience. It will be guys that are maybe in their 30s that want the body of an MMA Fighter and are a little reluctant to give it a try. It will be about what I eat and do to stay in shape and other stuff, like preparing for my kayak adventure from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I know what I have to do...
Speaking of which, I was given a great suggestion from someone from my blog that I should apply for Jersey Shore. Why of course I should and did! I've decided to stop fighting the problems of the Literary World and become part of the problem, an enabler. I'm trying to follow the Snooki's Recipe to Literary and Entertainment success. Why not put me on the Jersey Shore? You will get a real surfer, MMA Fighter, writer, and someone that wears sunscreen on the beach and walks around proudly in spandex everywhere. I'll bring my surfboard, mouth piece, and boxes of condoms. The full on Naked Author act will be on to blow everything up...I'll beat up all the steroid dudes, bang all the chics, and burn the house down!

What does any of this have to do with literature you ask? Why nothing, except that is the end game. That is all that I'm after and really care about. Everything else I have done and am doing are all stepping stones to get there. I'm sorry Hemingway for all that I have done and must do...I'll tell you when you can open your eyes again.

I don't know what is going to come out of the Reality Show shake downs. But I do know that I will be posting new Youtube Video Blogs soon, just me talking about all that I'm doing which I hate doing, I'm a writer...but at this point what does it matter...the easiest way to get this all done would be to just leak a sex tape of me banging Snooki...didn't that just work for Kim Kardashian?

Don't look Hemingway...

Finally Naked Author and Youtube Partnership!

2011-10-24T16:39:00.006-04:00

I applied for partnership with Youtube for so long....FINALLY!!!
Dear nakedauthor,
Your YouTube account nakedauthor might be eligible to earn revenue from the playbacks of your videos.

Making money from your videos is easy. Here's how it works: First sign into your YouTube account. Then review and complete the steps outlined here:
If your account is enabled, we may place ads next to the videos you submit for monetization. You will earn a share of the revenue from the ads as long as you meet the program requirements.
Thanks and good luck!
The YouTube Team

Dear nakedauthor,
Congratulations, you can now earn money from your YouTube videos! Click here to begin.
Sincerely,
The YouTube Team

Oh boy what to do what to do??? I'm finally going to make some money off of all of my Youtube clips and Naked Author act...I can't go back to my old ways BC-Before Cancer. But I know a girl in Youtube land who makes bank from her clips and Youtube pays her to go to FL and other places for Youtube events. I've got my foot in the door now...
I don't know what to do right now. I've done all of this with no help, no agents, all just a one man show. I have something terrible, deep inside of me that cancer cant even kill...my ego.
If I make it on a Reality Show...oh man oh man...you know that beast is coming out.

Fact: the more videos I post on Youtube the more money I make. Fact: the more clicks I get on Youtube the more money I make.
Now I'm asking myself, "What can I do to generate the most amount of clicks in a video?" Geez, I just want the end prize of a book deal then I can grow my beard, smoke my pipe and run around with my girl in dental floss as I compose novel after novel...
I guess I'll post my Survivor audition tape on Youtube next and then my Bachelor(ette). Bachelor audition clip is embarrassing 15min of me going on and on about True Love...
Man, I've got a broken nose, broken thumb, broken hands, a gimp left arm, scars, a broken heart, all to get a book deal to write my novels for the rest of my life...this has been a hell of a hard journey.
And now the journey is going to take me out to sea...
I have the delicious caramel apple in front of me and I'm just waiting to take my bite...saliva fills my mouth in anticipation of the sweetness of the caramel followed my the juice of the apple...I just hope when I finally get to take my bite that it is not the poison from the forbidden fruit...

Same Name New Me

2011-10-22T09:13:00.008-04:00

First off I just want to say that Ray Fusco is the man. Thank you for taking a chance and reaching out to me.
'Kayak for a Cure' is trademarked, whoops! Better to not mention The American Cancer Society until I'm actually affiliated with it, whoops! Everything that I've put on the internet, my blog, website, youtube, comes across scary and pretty far out there, whoops! And the list goes on...

First off, everything that I've written and put on the internet as Naked Author is all a gimmick, an act, a show to try and entertain and make my name known by as many people as possible. My angle was extreme and over the top. After cancer surgery on 8/25/11 everything in my life has changed. I did not mean to put anyone off it was all strictly to entertain you, that was my angle. I kept asking myself, "How far will you go for your dreams?" Well, I think its pretty clear I will sacrifice all that I have mentally and physically to try and fulfill my dreams...which I still am just not with the same over the top angle I was doing before cancer hit me.

Now that I've recovered from cancer it has made me open my eyes and grow up in a lot of ways. I appreciate everyone a lot more that I interact with day to day. I'm still going to continue doing and writing about all the things that I love in life but not in such a 'shock value' manner. I realize now that my little kayak adventure I'm in a way representing the kayaking community and the last thing I need to do is something knuckle headed that gives them a black eye.

So...
I'm still kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. The bigger this becomes great, I'm all for it, but if it's just me in true 'Forrest Gump' style that is fine as well. This is something I have to do and I understand the risks involved. It's not the distance that is so bad, except I'm using the worst kayak ever for this, my 10ft Moken. The danger lies in the Ambrose Shipping Channel which is the main shipping channel to NYC. The danger lies in not getting run over by these massive shipping vessels that are coming into the channel from 35 knots out at sea to 15 knots and can not move if I suddenly get caught in their path...
Then there is capsizing, waves, currents, and other perils to face.
The distance isn't the danger its the Ambrose Shipping Channel that will be my toughest challenge...

This is something that I must do, I survived aggressive metastasizing Malignant Malenoma that had it not been treated would have killed me. My intent is not to get killed crossing the Ambrose Shipping Channel or cause a scene that leads to negative press for the kayaking community.

This is where I'm at right now...
Every day I go into work everyone asks me if I've heard back from Survivor.
I sent in all of my applications to Big Brother, Survivor and Fear Factor and now I'm just waiting. I try not to think about it but I have to admit when I saw Snooki's face on the front page of Gannett's website when she was paid $35,000 by Rutgers to talk about her book she didn't write at first all I could see was red...but it lead to my path of now trying to land on my own Reality Show...

That's all for now...
I have more to write about like my thoughts on the deconstruction of literature and how all of my novels can be torn apart with all other novels and be rendered meaningless. I can't look at writing that way or I'd never write again. Yes all love stories have similarities and one can argue its all just one old tired story. But love is real, it is timeless, it is shared by all, from the time you receive it from your parents at birth (well most of us), to finding that one perfect mate in your life that shares unconditional love with you. I'm on a quest to find that, to experience that again, and to ignite my passion and inspiration for all of my future novels of love, passion, and war.
Oh I have a lot more to write about...

Kayak for a Cure. Can I become the Forrest Gump of Kayaking?

2011-10-15T13:59:00.005-04:00

My new girl that I'm seeing now goes from being called Olympic Gold to NYC Gold. She told me I can't use the name Olympic because of legal reasons. But she did tell me that she has contacts at the American Cancer Society and will help me get in touch with them. She's 28yrs old and about 50xs smarter and more mature then I am (as all girls seem to be?). She told me to wait until Spring and build up my kayak adventure from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I was in NYC today and I saw a whole bunch of people marching the streets in pink for cancer awareness. I can do the same thing and have a pink fleet of kayakers cross the Atlantic Ocean (at least a portion of it) for cancer awareness. I would like to turn this into an annual event. I'm getting in contact with so many famous and pro kayakers now...Nancy Brous - NYC watertrail assoc and NY kayak polo(national champion BTW)
Lyn Goldsmith- adventurer, expedition paddler, Phil Giller- Former President Sebago Canoe club and NYC watertrail, Margo Pellegrino, Ray Fusco, Shore11.org, Outriggerone, to name a few. This has the potential to become so much bigger then I originally thought...I may become the Forrest Gump of "Kayak for a Cure" every year from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. Unreal, this all started because I was spending a lot of time in Brooklyn and I just beat cancer and I looked across the water and saw Sandy Hook NJ and thought to myself, "I can kayak to there." No matter how many people do it with me or a portion with me, I will be using my little 10ft Moken the kayak 'underdog' as it fits me and my story...
I also need to be more...I've got to use a big word here...Responsible about what I write on my blog as this is read by girls, families, and many others. The way I was before cancer and treating girls and people wasn't good. I'm a changed man now and appreciate everyone in my life and especially the relationships that I have now. NYC Gold is such a rad girl, great family, great person, driven...why she picked me? She did mention my dimples...haha! My biological parents might not have given me much in this life of mine but where would I be today without these dimples?!

This past year of my life has been the most challenging, difficult, near death and back experience of my adult life. From jobs, relationships, self destruction, battling cancer, failing to make it in the Literary World, it has been such difficult, dark times...and now it all might turn into the most rewarding times of my life. "God" told me that I would beat cancer and if I changed my ways all of my dreams will come true...he was right about the cancer...I wonder what's around the corner for me?

I'm going to work hard at organizing my "Kayak for a Cure" for the spring with everyone. I'll wait to hear back from Survivor. I'll apply for Big Brother and Fear Factor. Bachelor(ette) is off the table...NYC Gold also knows someone that works at Random House, not Gina Centrello, but...I'll keep you all posted on things to come.

My Adventure Begins...let the Good Times Roll!

2011-10-10T16:54:00.009-04:00

Where I'm at today...I wouldn't be where I am at today if it wasn't for the 27 yrld Russian Nurse. She came back to me when I needed her when I was recovering from cancer surgery after 8/25/11. She nursed me back to health mentally and physically. But sadly it's not going to work out. I'm not moving to Brooklyn and her friends and family call me "drama". There is very real emotions between the two of us...I sent flowers to the wrong girl once. I will now send flowers to the right girl and never forget what she has done for me...
If it wasn't for the Russian Nurse I wouldn't be able to go forward with the new 28 yrld girl that I'm seeing this weekend and I think will be starting something serious with. She lives and works in Manhattan for many years, is beautiful, smart, travels the world, works with famous athletes and their sports agents, etc. If all goes well we will be in London at the Olympics together thanks to her job. Then the rest of Europe is calling...

I'm always fascinated by the 25-31 yrld single, beautiful, successful women from Hoboken/Manhattan/Brooklyn that pick me to be with. I'm not the most handsome man. You ever been to NYC? There are 10 billion dudes better looking then me. I have pennies in my pockets while my competition rolls deep pockets in NYC. My Russian Nurse kept letting me hear about how bad my ride is. She told me that I just like the challenge of it all. Oh my Russian Nurse knows me better then I know myself. She is right, I rise up to the challenge. I like having the two strikes against me with a divorce and a kid from my previous marriage and still having these young, successful women fall for me. But all of my games and waiting on the ex-girlfriend...it is all over now, thanks to the Russian Nurse. I am 100% ready to start something entirely new and it will all be starting this weekend with the before mentioned wonderful new lady...

I thought my little kayak adventure I would just hop into my little 10ft Moken with a compass and 'Old Pirate' my way across the ocean. The more I'm talking to people the more involved I'm understanding it to be. I've also gotten into contact with a whole crew of famous NJ/NY kayakers: Margo Pellegrino, Ray Fusco, and others from Shore11.org. Ray Fusco is also a cancer survivor. My little 10ft kayak is NOT RECOMMENDED for this voyage. But isn't that exactly why I need to use my little kayak? Isn't that the story of my life, the constant underdog? If I had the nice, right size, expensive, fancy, ocean kayak it would be out of character for me. Just like I'm the underdog trying to make it in the Literary World with my own self published books. I will be kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ in a little, fat, 10ft open water kayak, that is slow, heavy, and not made for distance. This is going to be a hell of a challenge and one that I will rise up for...

My new girl-Olympic Gold told me if we start our serious relationship, Bachelor(ette) is off the table. That's fine, I just printed up Fear Factor and I will focus on other Reality Show Challenges. Funny on all the applications they ask if a restraining order has ever been filed against you...imagine had the ex-girlfriend gone through with that when I sent her flowers? She could have really fucked up all of my dreams of today...wow, I have so much to be thankful for.

Kayak Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ

2011-10-04T19:44:00.009-04:00

Why kayak 20 miles from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ?
Cancer awareness...
Beating Cancer...
I want to do something amazing with my body now that I get to keep it and my life...
There is a special girl in Brooklyn...
There was a special girl in Sandy Hook...
Am I going to make it on Survivor...
Am I going to be able to fulfill my dreams and become a legitimate author with a book deal...

All these thoughts are going through my head as I prepare my kayak for its voyage. I don't know if my new relationship with my Russian Nurse is going to make it. Distance is distance and when you have real emotions involved that you are only seeing a person 1x to 2xs a week...its rough. Compile that with some other factors, her friends call me "drama"...really? Not anymore. Before cancer, sure, but now I'm trying to be a one girl at a time guy. And the issue about my car, enough, I don't care about how bad my car is. I had it all before folks, 500hp black Cobra, other muscle cars, boat, etc., it's all documented on youtube.com. I was married to my ex-wife and when I made $100,000 I was always gettin yelled at to make more money. Then I'd make $120,000 and it was never enough and when I would try to buy a pair of new sneakers I had hell to pay for it. Money isn't great to focus on in any relationship. If you've got it great, if you don't, oh well. I'm not the dude picking up the ladies in the white Mercedes SL class, that isn't my story. My story is about having nothing, then getting it all, then losing it all, and now I'm slowly building myself back up to have it all and more. I use to want to have my big man moment when I finally cashed in from the day job and combined it with a book deal all for my ex-girlfriend. Then after cancer I went on a huge 'cancer high' because I beat it and thought I'd share it all with the next girl I'm with. Now I realize, I'm doing all of this for none other then me. I'm not in a place anymore that I want to share any of all of this hard work with anyone. I use to share all of my money with my ex-wife and that wasn't fun. I'm not doing that again. I don't know what I'm doing but it won't be that and I'm also not rushing out to the diamond district right away...
I'm just going to take it easy, not going back to my old ways of just burning through endless girls like a deck of cards. Cancer, my nueropyschologist, and my Russian Nurse all made me realize what I have been doing with girls as I wait on my ex-girlfriend to always come back to me. Now I know I am capable of opening up real feelings for another girl. I just have to finally take the time and see the one that I have in front of me at the time that we are dating.

I'm just happy to have a job right now and beating cancer. I'll get a new car some day, but when I do, I'm taking my old car and putting it on my fire place mantle. I love my little beater Naked Author mobile. It is a soldier and has been with me through so much with me driving my ass around NYC this time last year trying desperately to get an ad sales job with Bloomberg, Time Warner, AdMarketplace, 24/7...Damn do you remember this time last year?!!! It was this time last year that my unemployment was just about to suddenly stop on my ass leaving me broke and arrest warrants were coming for not mowing my lawn...damn chalk this up on my list of why I'm kayaking from Brooklyn to Sandy Hook too! I'm not dead, in jail, I beat cancer, I wrote some cool books, got my job back in ad sales with Gannett, I cleaned up my act, applied for Survivor...all good reasons to celebrate life and my body healing. As long as I don't die doing this I think this is a great way to accomplish something pretty amazing...

The kayak I have now isn't built for distance. Its a fat, small kayak I got for spearfishing off of it over the summer. I've packed flares, a horn, a compass, flash light, water, energy packets, and I'll have my cell phone. It takes me 2.5 hrs to run a half marathon and 6 hrs to run a full marathon. I figure this will take me from sun up till sun down. If I go in a perfect line from Brooklyn to Sandy Hook it is 20 miles, but there is wind, currents, waves, and other variables that will make this a real challenge. My bro will be at Sandy Hook looking for me so if I don't make it by night fall he'll know to notify someone. I'll have a wet suit on and should be able to survive a night at sea if things go bad...

"God" met me at the edge of the world during Hurricane Irene and told me that I'd beat cancer and he was right. Maybe he will meet with me out in the middle of the ocean and I'll ask him if I will make it on Survivor...maybe he'll send a whale to swallow me like Jonah because I'm an idiot out in the middle of the ocean? Maybe the man in the grey suit will come bumping my kayak to try to knock me in the water with 'em to party? If a shark or whale swallows me its got to be a female, only way Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner is allowed to go is in the hands...or I guess mouth of a female. Watch I just get run over by a shipping freighter coming into NYC...I guess as long as its a female captain its ok? What are the chances of the boat that runs me over has female captain driving it? I better just make it to play it safe...
more to come and coming soon...hopefully a lot!

2012 Survivor Watch! God has Spoken!

2011-10-01T14:10:00.007-04:00

God met me at the edge of the world during Hurricane Irene and told me that I would beat cancer and that all of my dreams will be realized if I change my ways.
I woke up from my cancer surgery and there was a hot 27 yrld Russian Nurse from Brooklyn at my feet to take care of me. Wow that's one dream come true...
Now all eyes are focused on 2012 Survivor. The deadline is October 4th and then they will be contacting applicants over the next few months. This is my little write up I did along with the pic of me on the beach and my survivor audition tape.
"My name is Jason William Mitchiner. I have been a survivor in the Game of Life since I was born. I just recently beat Malignant Melanoma Cancer that was cut out of my back and lymph nodes removed on 8/25/11. I am training to get back into the cage for my next MMA Fight and to conquer the Literary World with my own written books after I win Survivor."
Survivor response:
Thank you for submitting your application to Survivor Casting. Your information has been sent to a casting director and we will be in touch!
Thank you,
Survivor Casting Team
Whatever Survivor Casting Team wants me to do, I'm there and it will be done. I get on Survivor and Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner becomes a house hold name. I will get my book deals...and I'll do whatever it takes to win a million dollars on Survivor.
Big Brother and Bachelor, whatever, I'll try out for them just for the fame but Survivor that is what I was built for...

I was hoping to bounce right back after my cancer surgery and maybe get in the cage October 29th. Everyone said if I push myself too hard too soon, I'll injury myself worse and take longer to recover. Guess what I did? Yep, pushed my self too hard too soon and nearly tore my left eye. My left arm just isn't normal. I'm mad at the doctors because they made removing my lymph nodes sound like I was getting a cavity filled. My left arm feels like a cadaver's arm has been connected to me. It's lost strength, feeling, flexibility...it's depressing.

But I still want to do something cool with my comeback after beating cancer and still being alive. My new girl lives in Brooklyn, so I'm thinking of the weekend of October 29th, kayaking from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I think it will be cool, take my undie camera and set sail. I've got to work out the details but that is what I'm planning. I need a compass and some flares in case I get swept out to sea...

My new girl is rad but Brooklyn and Jersey Shore is a distance. She is Brooklyn deep forever with all of her family there and she's not going anywhere. Guess who would have to move to Brooklyn? Yeah and I'm a hardcore Shore guy and Newport Beach, CA. The ocean is everything to me. Do they get good surf in Brooklyn? I know Kelly Slater and other pros tore up NYC in the contest just last month...
I don't know, I'm not worried about it, just going to take it day to day and everything will work itself out over time.
My new girl tells me all that I'm doing is great but that I need to focus on climbing up the corporate ladder. She's snapped my ass into action but I know what she wants in the end. I can provide all of that wishes if I rob a bank (is that even possible anymore with today's technology?), become a drug lord (I'd have to start out now as a foot soldier and by the time I'm a drug lord I'll be 100yrs old...no good), or win Survivor.

Survivor or Bust!
I get on Survivor and all my dreams will be realized...
I don't get on 2012 Survivor and well I think my dreams will continue to be just that...except the 27yrld Russian Nurse is already here, that's cool...I just need money to take her out in Manhattan because that ain't cheap!

Updates coming...

2011-09-26T17:09:00.004-04:00

sorry everyone! I'm super busy right now, Survivor Deadline is October 4th and I'm working with my motion graphics editor to get it in. Survivor or Bust!
I tore my left eye fighting on Thursday, I am nowhere near 100% MMA Shape after my cancer surgery and have to face the reality of the time and hard work it will take to get back to where I was at.
I wasn't able to make the Tunnel to Towers race because I got an opportunity to have my son for the weekend and I need to make being a good daddy more of a priority then the selfish dick I was before cancer...
Workin hard at the day job to get everything off the ground and working hard at getting this new relationship with the RN nice and tight...
Everything is on the up and up. I'll update this blog after the weekend and after I've got everything done.
Since I didn't get to run the Tunnel to Towers Race as my comeback after beating cancer, I've got something else in mind that is more focused just on me. It will require my new girl and leaving from Brighton Beach Brooklyn with a compass...more to come soon. I'm shooting for October 29th since I can't fight MMA in the cage yet.
Later, NA-JWM

Wheels on the bus go round and round...STOP THE BUS!

2011-09-19T12:04:00.008-04:00

Well Well Well...
There is nobody on planet earth that can hurt me. No one, not going to happen. I take beatings all the time verbal and physical, I recover and I come back. But there is one exception, one person that knows exactly how to destroy me...the ex-girlfriend.
What she did to me when I was going in for my cancer surgery and she told me to shave my face and that we were fucking and getting back together. Then at the last minute she told me no and she'll be fucking other men over me and good luck with my cancer. She destroyed me. I picked up the phone and called my single, 27yrld, Russian Nurse in Manhattan and I think you know the rest...
Had my ex-girlfriend been by my side during the cancer, I never would have called my new girl. I don't know why my ex-girlfriend did that to me? I don't know why she picked other men over me? But she has and that is the way our story together ends...
She left me with a lot of great lines. I have, "How'd that work out for you" on my NA Dog Tag as my constant motivation to succeed and now she has given me more. She has given me the BIG THREE to focus on recently.
She toyed with me with the notion of coming back to me after a year of dating other men and fucking them as she realized that is what all men want to do with her. She is a MILF. Dudes will take her out and then fuck her and I'm sure when she brings up her "special" kid they Head For Zee Hillz! Now she realizes that I was putting up with all of that and her ex-husband always around and she might have thought of coming back to me. But she didn't and left me with this:
She just called me 1.Shallow 2.A Loser 3.A Boy.
I can and will squash all three of these and I'll share with you how...it all comes down to my new 27 yrld Russian Nurse from Brooklyn.
1. I'm shallow? Guilty as charged. We all know it. I'm not hiding it. I'm honest with everyone about everything. With my ex-girlfriend I was never shallow, I felt True Love for her. All other girls I used as I was between my ex-girlfriend. And I nearly stayed in this constant state of using girls and waiting on my ex-girlfriend until I got Cancer! Cancer shocked my eyes wide open and now I realize this one, single, 27 yrld girl from Brooklyn might actually be special to me and she is now. She's not shallow, she didn't have to come back to me after I blew her off before I had cancer and I was partying on the Jersey Shore. But she did. She got sick this weekend and I didn't blow her off again and I'm happy with myself about that. Right? My new girl said all of our conversations can't start with, "I and be about Me." Baby steps...I'm getting there? With this new girl I have the opportunity to show the World that I'm not shallow and that I can stay in a committed relationship with another girl that is not my ex-girlfriend. I have the opportunity to give her the best of me that I never gave to my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend. I'm trying to go forward in a normal, serious relationship. I never gave either one of them a ring and got down on a knee that's for sure. The ex-girlfriend I talked about maybe a ceremony at Mt. Kilimanjaro or something. But this new 27yrld that isn't shallow and was by my side during cancer...if we get to that point I'm going to make sure the World is quite aware of my proposal! My ex-girlfriend already told me she is going to make sure that I'm aware of hers too...
2.A Loser? Because I lost my high paying sales job in this economy and lost everything? My little commuter car that I drive now is loser car inside and out(I don't keep it clean and its beat up from insane driving). My girl now lets me know about it every time she has to look at my car or its brought up some how. Well I got my job back in ad sales with Gannett...it saved my life with health benefits that allowed me to beat cancer. I made a lot of money before when I was with Gannett I had brand new cars and bought a nice big house that I'm still in today. When I was 27 and making a lot of money I actually took my brand new mustang and tried to find my ex-girlfriend and drove to her parent's house to try and sweep her away...poor guy. In October I'm part of a new team to compete with Groupon and Living Social and I can make my way back to where I was before in a lot of ways. I'm told diamonds aren't cheap so I guess I have a lot of saving to do.
3.A boy? Because I have dreams and write books? Is Stephen King a boy? I guess not because he is a success and I'm not. I guess if I got a book deal for my books I would be looked at differently then a boy, eh? My goal is to get the book deal and write published books for the rest of my life under Jason William Mitchiner. How I have to go about accomplishing this goal...I'm not exactly sure. Does that qualify me as a boy that I'm ambitious, creative, and talented? Again my new sweet heart tells me to keep it all in perspective which is nice to be reminded by her. Isn't she great already?
She's going to make me a better man and there for I will not be 1.Shallow 2.A Loser 3.A Boy

So come October I'll have sent in my audition tapes to Big Brother, Bachelor(ette), Survivor. I'll run the Tunnel to Towers Race this Sunday, my come back and then other events in NYC. I'll kick ass in my day job. I may have my next MMA Fight October 29th, got to check with Aldimir tonight at my gym. I'll keep writing my next book. And I'll share sweet whispers and hot XOXOX with my new girl. Good?

Come October it's go time. I'm just a little Boy with Big Dreams...but I will have my Big Man Moment when my dreams are realized and I get to share them all with the woman that I love...

Million Mile March

2011-09-18T04:47:00.005-04:00

MikeTyson: "Everybody wants the million dollars but most aren't willing to put in the million miles.”
That's how I've been looking at my journey. Whatever I'm doing, whether it's right or wrong, brilliant or stupid, I need to just keep my head down and keep doing what I'm doing.
All my Reality Show stuff should be rapped up by the end of next week and on September 25th, the Tunnel to Towers Run in NYC is my official comeback. Comeback from what, I'm not sure? I never made it in the first place so...I guess it's my comeback to LIFE. I'll have a new look at the race both in wardrobe, girl on my side, and scar on my back.
This is the run September 25th
"To all Run participants . . .
We want to make sure that due to the large crowds expected this year, please get to the buses and boats as early as possible. Remember Boats and Buses leave PIER 11 (east side) and also Liberty and West Sts on the west side starting at 6:30 AM. You should be on the line for the bus or boat by 7:30AM no later than that."

Now that I'm taking care of my body, I wonder how hard I can push it? I see every one's face at my MMA gym how surprised they are to see me trying to spar and get back to full MMA conditioning and speed. I thought my left arm was going to split open doing BJJ yesterday...sucked! This 18yr old kid is a boxer from Golden Boy Productions boxing and his skills are amazing. I love how in MMA I think I might be good at something and then fight someone and find out right away how much I have to learn. I thought my stand up was good, ha! Million miles to go...

My girl was sick yesterday and between me having cancer and her getting sick...this isn't starting out your typical shallow relationship...
I saw this movie yesterday, Trade, about the real life human sex trafficking from Mexico to New Jersey (A lot run by the Russian Mob-YIKES!). Its a heavy movie, watch it, it's sad to know that it will never really go away. As long as men are willing to pay for this crap, it's always going to continue...
My whole life just changed after going through this with cancer...
In some cultures the woman you are with is sacred. Other men are not even allowed to look at the woman that you are with. In our culture sleeping around is the norm and there really is no value in it for when its done...
There can be a value in sleeping with someone. In the movie, Trade, there is a dollar value placed in having sex with women, virgins, and young boys. In the movie, Moon Struck, Nicholas Cage sleeps with Cher one time and knows that he has found True Love and there is a clear value in it...

My whole life has changed after cancer. I'm taking care of my body and now I find value in whoever I decide to sleep with. The next girl that I end up with for my second go at it, now that I've been given my second chance in Life, I want her to be sacred to me...as I am to her. We have found and share our value for one another with only each other forever...

Got Dimples Dude?

2011-09-16T15:04:00.007-04:00

Its not the size of your cock that matters or an 8pac.
If you have dimples you are a God to all women.
If you have dimples work on flashing them in the mirror and use them accordingly.
If you don't have dimples I suggest you go to the plastic surgeon and get them put in. I'm not talking about the butt cheek chin, you need dimples in your cheeks.
Look at Mario Lopez's success from the stupidest show, Saved by the Bell. Why did he make it the farthest? Look no further then the dimples. My motion graphics editor that's making my audition tapes, why'd he end my Survivor Audition tape with me flashing my dimple? Because he knows those dimples can take me straight to the top of Survivor...auditions should be up on CBS next week and I'll be sending in all of my stuff shortly. I've picked up single, young, beautiful, independent, successful women from NYC and Hoboken in my Naked Author mobile and watch them turn ghost white in shock with embarrassment as they have to climb in the back seat of my car to be driven any where because I took out the passenger seat in my car to change and have my fun in it. How am I able to over come their embarrassment when my competition of other Tools are picking up these beautiful ladies in Mercedes Benz, etc.? The dimple.

Tosh.O is funny stuff, he has guys pegged, calling us Selfish Self Absorbed Dickheads. Its what we are without a good woman by our sides. He rips women a part, which is funny, but I think its us dudes that are the worse of the two. Women have the nurture, protecting genes and are more thoughtful and intelligent (for the most part...steer clear of the Guido Girl if possible). I told everyone that I was going to become the Swinging Dick if I didn't get to stay the Family Man with my ex-girlfriend. I don't understand all of the girls being surprised about all that I've done. I made it public knowledge that I was going to be the Swinging Dick 'Player'. When I say I am doing something, my track record speaks for itself.

Now I am changing my 'Swinging Dick' 'Player' ways after beating cancer. The girl that is by my side now, that was with me through the cancer, didn't have to be. I contacted her because I got cancer and wanted her to take care of me, she knows it, she did, and she knows all about my old ways and knows that I am a huge gamble but also might all be worth it in the end. She grew up in Brooklyn and tells me 'Like it is' and works in Mid-Town Manhattan and has seen it all. She believes in my dreams but keeps them all in check. She has many friends that are talented artists in NYC that struggle big time because everyone needs a break at some point to make it. The entertainment world is full of people with lesser talent doing what you do that got the lucky break and have taken off from there, a Snooki comes to my mind often...:) She just turned 27 and is a perfect blend of looks and brains to keep me happy. She knows that I'm going to drag her in the spot light with me starting at the Tunnel to Towers race in NYC and I told her I expect her looking amazing. She keeps telling me she is only human but she will be waiting for me with her palm palms. She tells me to keep pursuing my dreams but to put the same passion I have in my dreams back into my day job and get a new car. HAHA, she's right. She's seen my stuff on the internet and how hard I come down on myself, calling myself a FAILURE because I haven't made it yet. She tells me not to do that and keep it in perspective luck has more to do with anything then talent. And after beating Cancer...I really do need to put everyone and everything in perspective.

I fought MMA last night and can't use my left arm fully yet and still have some serious discomfort with it with shooting pain from nerve damage. I got depressed last night not being able to fight back with a left arm. It reminded me that I just had cancer and how close to death I came. I want all of this pain to go away and just be back to normal and try to forget cancer but I don't think I ever will. Cancer was way heavier then I ever thought on so many different levels. My next MMA Fight I think I'm going to be crying BEFORE I even start fighting because I'll be so fucking happy to still be here and have the physical abilities to get me back into the cage. Now if that doesn't get me on Tosh.O I don't know what will. An MMA Fighter crying BEFORE the fight even starts...talk about a PUSSY! HAHA Just happy to be alive folks!

I got off the phone the other night with my girl and as we were hanging up our phones I said, "I love you." My mind was shouting at me, "What the fuck dude! Are you crazy?!!! Now you've done it fucking moron!" I didn't mean to say it, it just happened and there is a reason why...
I talk to my girl again after that and I'm hoping she didn't hear it correctly and doesn't bring it up. Oh she heard it correctly alright, she's a chic, girls have super sonic hearing. She asked, "So you are talking to your ex-girlfriend?"
I said, "No, haven't talked to her in a long time. After I got cancer and what she did to me I'm never going to talk to her again."
She asked, "Then why did you say that? Its obviously something you use to say often to her."
I said, "Because you are the only girl that has yet to bring up the kind of feelings that I had for her."
Wheeew...it worked and it is the truth. I don't know if I'm on a Cancer High or what. But this girl knew me when I was a 'Swinging Dick Player' blew her off and she came back to my side when I was going through cancer. My nueropyschologist and everyone wants to know if I can have a monogamous relationship with someone other then my ex-girlfriend. I'm going to give this a go...if another girl hits on me somewhere I will take a big gulp and try to muster up these words, "I have a girlfriend."...that sounds so gay to me...being monogamous when its not my ex-girlfriend is going to be interesting but everyone tells me that is how guys and girls are suppose to be together. When did Roman Orgies and Concubines go away? Weren't Concubines a big hit in the bible?

I know one thing for sure with this new girl the RN from North of Brighton Ave Brooklyn. I can beat cancer but can I beat the Russian Mob? I think this girl might have what it takes to keep the Naked Author monogamous!

Naked Author Defeats M&M! TV Time, MMA Wins, and Book Dealz Baby

2011-09-12T14:24:00.013-04:00

Damn that was HEAVY!!!
I found out today that I beat Malignant Melanoma. It didn't spread to my lymph nodes. I still have to go back to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital every 3 months for the next 5 years because even though Cancer didn't spread, apparently it has the ability to re-occur...fucking bullshit...but I'm not even worried about that at this moment, why should I?! I like how the Doctors don't tell you shit about what can really happen to you until after the fact. They told me today that had my Cancer spread to my lymph nodes that radiation and chemotherapy doesn't really work against Malignant Melanoma and the only thing that really works is more cutting and amputations...fuck that! The dude sitting next to me in the cancer ward had his left arm cut off from cancer. Talk about a sigh of relief...I don't really remember much of what else was said its all pretty overwhelming. I have to do some kind of stretches with my left arm to get my range of motion back with it. I found out that not only can blood never be taken from my left arm again but neither can blood pressure be taken. I found out the more lymph nodes removed the greater the chance of your arm permanently swelling up for life. I thought only one lymph node was removed and found out several were...but who cares FUCK YOU Cancer! Fuck M&M!

I got my hair did to look fly for all my ladies this week and weekend and then I went to Dunkin Donuts to get some coffee and everywhere I go I'm telling everyone I beat cancer today. A beautiful young blond hair, blue eyed girl was getting my coffee and told me that her sister goes to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital too and we were talking about what a great hospital it is. She said her sister has Cancer on her brain but that she is 11 yrs old and that her immune system is really strong at fighting it...holy shit, I started crying. Here I am gloating to any and everyone today that I kicked Cancer's ass and then this girl's beautiful little sister is in a fight for her life with it. Holy shit...fucking cancer...I can't believe how serious it is. My eyes have been shocked wide open by all of this...

So my phone has been blowing up all day with all of my supportive women and they all keep asking me..."So what were all those changes you were making?" They all want know, now that I beat cancer, am I just going to go back to my old ways of partying and being carefree and reckless? Of course there is a part of me that wants to hit up a whole bunch of hunny bunnies on my phone that I know I can go down some blood shot eyed benders with...but that is not what I'm going to do. I'm going to try to really stay in a monogamous relationship with the Russian Nurse. Look, I'm single, I've got a million girls on my phone, I can replace any girl in a second. My Russian Nurse (RN), is hot, single, 27, and has a million dudes on her phone and can replace me in a second. But we are going to give this a go and I'm going to do my best. I just realized that whatever girl I'm with, the bigger I become, they kind of get pulled into the spot light with me...whoever I write about becomes someone of interest. I would get emails from people spotting me with my ex-girlfriend. I guess now I will be seen with the Russian Phoenix in the city...
I did like when I was driving home from Brooklyn the running path with the Verrazano bridge in the back drop. It is very scenic for me to run as I train for my next MMA fights. My Russian Nurse grew up with her dad boxing, she likes that I fight, but she wants to see me win. She was by my side with this cancer but she never babied me about it. She is a nurse in Manhattan and has seen a lot worse then the scar on my back and armpit.

Survivor Auditions are coming up on CBS's website. I contacted my motion graphics editor. He's finalizing my audition tapes and I'll send them all in to Bachelor(ette), Big Brother, and Survivor. I'll go on any casting calls that come up in NYC to get on TV. But the show that I am totally committed to and will do all I can to get on it and win is Survivor, of course. Shit, that's all I've ever known is surviving...

The end game is getting a book deal and writing all of my books as Jason William Mitchiner the legitimate author. My books will be mostly historical fiction and have a lot of "True Love" romance in them that is very near and dear to my heart. But I am going to push on the World with everything that I've got to make it on TV and make my name, story, and voice heard. That dude Simon from American Idol says it well, "Three minutes on this stage can change your life forever." I don't want to be on the American Idol Stage...but to be on the Survivor Stage...fuck I'll take getting cancer to be on Survivor...wait I did get cancer...well then bring on Survivor people and watch me win it all! BELIEVE IT!

The Phoenix and Cancer

2011-09-10T07:20:00.009-04:00

This will be short and sweet.
Tomorrow is the 10yr anniversary of 9/11 its going to be a heavy day in NYC. When I was in the city the other day everywhere was talking about it and getting ready for the day of remembrance.
I keep coming down hard on myself about the Naked Author and that it has surpassed interest in my books that I have written. But I need to keep in mind that this Blog, Youtube, Twitter, etc, is the story of my journey as I try to make it as a legitimate author. I shouldn't come down so hard on myself that there is so much interest in the Naked Author. I need to look at it this way. Come 9/12, if everything goes well, I'm going to give every ounce of my mind, body, and soul to make it with everything that I've got but in a positive manner and not all of the self destruction from before.

I need to look at this like a rocket ship. Naked Author is blasting off on 9/12 into the cage for more MMA Fights, running races as the Naked Author in NYC, auditioning for Reality Shows, sending in books and poems to contest, continue writing my next books, go to the '12 Book Expo at the Javits Center, network with authors in NYC...etc.

I needed a strong, young, beautiful, smart, independent woman by my side to support me when I was down with this fucking cancer and that will be by my side when I step into the cage in my next MMA Fight. I need her by my side with everything that I'm about to do because lets face it, none of this is going to be easy. I found her. She'll be at the finish line waiting for me after the Tunnel to Towers race on Sept. 25th looking great, giving me a little extra motivation to cross the finish line. I can feel that urge with her to accomplish my goals and have my big man moment in front of her like I use to feel with someone else...

I'm getting this Cancer tattoo on the back of my neck. I'm a Cancer, born July 13th 1976, and I got Cancer so its pretty fitting. I'm going to be in NYC a lot coming up. I don't know if everything that I'm doing is the best way to accomplish my goal, the end game of getting a book deal with a legitimate publisher? I don't know that, but I know after 9/12 I get my second chance in life and I'll only be 35 once in my life time. I'm going to do all that I can do to accomplish my goals and a lot of it is going to be tough and painful but I now have someone to nurse me back to health when I need it. Now if I can just get a literary agent and publisher...I can put a big fat THE END at the end of this blog...turn my blog into a book...leave Naked Author behind me and keep the Jason William Mitchiner author rocket ship traveling through space...that is the plan. I just have to watch out for meteors and the evil space alien lurking inside of me from bursting out...

Naked Chef/Jamie Oliver - Naked Author/Jason William Mitchiner

2011-09-09T10:52:00.006-04:00

Man I forgot dating young, smart, independent women in Manhattan and Hoboken don't like the two strikes against me, divorced, and a kid from another woman. All the women I've dated in Manhattan and Hoboken want to be a power couple and start their lives off with a clean slate and not baggage from a failed marriage. Luckily I'm blessed to be able to make them all over look that but I know my window is getting smaller and smaller.
I shared my Naked Author stuff with my Russian Nurse last night and we watched some of my clips on Youtube on her computer. Have you seen this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktS6zjuOnS0 Holy shit, we watched it together and she was making fun of my belly when I was in my blue Speedo and shorts. I was so fucking out of shape back then. I watched that video clip and if I got to fight the guy in the blue shorts in the Youtube clip today, I would rip that guy's head off in two seconds. I've got to give it to the guy in the blue shorts for trying back then...but damn I've come a long way. If I ever make it on the Jason Ellis Show again all I'm doing is thank him for getting me into MMA. The body I have now...I'm in better shape at 35 then I ever was at 25 and once I find out on 9/12 what my future holds, if its good news you can only imagine how hard I'm going to push myself...MMA is unreal.
Back to my Russian Nurse, I brought my books for her to look at and right away she asked me the question ever girl asks me, "Is Christiana Cortez a real person?" When I was with my ex-girlfriend I was in love with her and I was monogamous. I just spent a year of my life waiting for her to come back to me and I spent over ten years before that waiting for her to come back to me. I never would have married my ex wife if my ex-girlfriend had stayed with me in our 20s and I never would have slept with all of these women in the past year had she decided to come back to me. But she made the conscience choice to fuck other men over me and to toy with coming back to me while she did so, that isn't love, that isn't True Love...that's fucked up.

On 9/12 I'm not letting anymore of my life go by waiting on anyone or anything. I have to pull all of this together now. My Russian Nurse (RN from now on), watched some more of my Youtube clips with some of my crazy stuff and dating and she was taken a back a bit...What I did to all the girls I dated back around March and Tweeted and Blogged about them had nothing to do with being an author. It had everything to do with my anger of losing my ex-girlfriend to online dating and I took it out on every girl's heart I dated back then. A lot of what I've done as the Naked Author has nothing to do with being an author or trying to make it further in the Literary World...I mean it's making a name for myself and good branding but how do you take my books seriously with all of my crazy Naked Author antics?

I've got to refocus all of this and keep it all in a positive direction. I created the Naked Author before my first book signing so I would make a splash and people would come up to me and buy my books, it worked. What I've done from there...? I'll submit all of my Reality Show Stuff and keep it all going but I have to be smarter about this and stay focused on the end game, getting a book deal for the books I've written, am writing, and will write in the future. Jamie Oliver did it with Naked Chef. He started out with Naked Chef and made a splash and then dropped it and now goes by Jamie Oliver with much success. That is exactly what I want to do, I want to get a book deal from any legitimate publisher, write my ass off with as many books as possible, drop Naked Author and only go by Jason William Mitchiner the author.

After 9/12 I will try with everything that I've got to make something happen...but I can feel my window getting smaller and smaller...

Back to School, Back to C.C.C.P., Back to Life

2011-09-08T10:22:00.008-04:00

After my neuropsychologist asked me the question, "Are you willing to grow old waiting for your ex-girlfriend to come back to you?" And with the outcome of 9/12 approaching my entire life has now fallen clearly in front of me on my lap...
When 9/12 comes if I'm clear of cancer I can do anything with my life that I want to do...anything...everything. If cancer has spread through out my body then I can not...

I am getting my life in order that on 9/12 I will be givin good news...so this is the plan. I'm talking to my Russian Nurse and we can't take it anymore...the build up between us is too much and we have to see each other starting tonight. I'm meeting her in mid town Manhattan right after she gets off work and I'm sure I'll be waking up in Brooklyn tomorrow morning. She knows everything about me, she knows I've written my magic books, but I have yet to drop the Naked Author bomb on her and she will find out all about that tonight. I'm sure she will be reading this blog shortly...

On 9/12 I am going to try to change my old ways...I'm going to try to give her a fair shake. I'll tell you this much she won't stand for anything less. She is fucking hot, she's been engaged twice and called it off on the suckers, she goes out all over Manhattan and can have her pick of men, why she has decided to pick me...? Especially because the only reason I contacted her again is because I got cancer, and she is a big wig nurse in the city, and I'm not going out partying anymore...she knows it and she reminds me what I've done daily. Her dad was a nude model for artist in the city and the boxing champ of the Ukraine and had his ladies on the side while he was married to her mom. She won't put up with that from me. If we go where I think we are going...I'm going to attempt my first monogamous relationship since my ex-girlfriend...
I told her now that I'll be in the city a lot more I want to get involved in some type of literary club. She said, "Great, first you use me because I'm a nurse and you got cancer and stopped partying. And now you have your city connection you are going to use me to network and promote being an author." Fuck, she is right, there is the old me that wants to exploit her, the Russian scene, spar her dad, and bang her, then find young beautiful NYC author chics and keep this train moving. This is the behavior that I'm trying to stop. Then there always is the ex-girlfriend who knows my phone number...

All I can do is go out with her tonight and however far it goes is up to us...
Now since I got cancer, I don't have any family that I hear from but you know who calls me, emails me and texts me to make sure I'm ok? Everyone from my job, my boss, everyone. You know how much that means to me? If Gannett hadn't hired me when they did and I was still on unemployment without health benefits I would be DEAD, no joke about it, cancer would have 100% killed me. Now I have a job, health benefits, and real people that are concerned about me. I put on my resume that I had a BA so I got my opportunity in ad sales 10yrs ago. My job could have fired me when they found out that was not the case. So I just registered in Ocean County College down the street from me its part of Kean University and I'm getting all of my transcripts sent there from Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, CA and Brookdale, NJ that I attended. I'm looking at starting Jan. '12. I write all about historical fiction, why not get a degree in history or English or something? They don't have Personal Life Experience credits like online University of Phoenix offers. But this is a real college classroom that hot girls will be attending and that will guarantee me being there...one eye on the books and one eye on fresh tail...fuck, I'm hopeless dirty old man, eh? I think my job will re imburse me for college classes and all that. I need to check with my HR department. Good plan?

So this fall I'll submit all of my Bachelor(ette), Big Brother, and Survivor applications and audition tapes. I cut another huge check to the ex wife that is still trying to take my son away from me (My lawyer told me I'll be going to Maryland soon to fight to keep him). I have to cut one more monster check to a lawyer this month. Then...I still have to make endless checks to lawyers and taxes and stuff...But come Nov or Dec over the holidays I'm going to try with all that I've got to get my ass to Spain. I'm writing my book now all about Spain with Dionisa and Navarro. I don't want to be here for the holidays, I went to South Beach, Miami last year and that was ok but not what I'm looking for this year. I need Spain...

I feel good about where I'm going with all this...all positive in the right direction...I'll be running the Tunnel to Towers race in NYC on the 25th probably with my Russian Nurse waiting for me at the finish line...

Everything feels pretty good right now like I'm finally going to make the most out of the life I've been given...but I also felt great the day they took the biopsy from my back and told me that I have an aggressive stage of Malignant Melanoma that may kill me...

Well 9/12 I'll find out and take it from there...if I get the good news I'm going to push my mind, body, and soul harder then I ever have in my life but all in a positive direction...no more self destruction...

But for now...for right now...I'm not going to think about 9/12 or any of this...I'm going to think of my Russian Czar...

dirty Mind clean Body new Soul

2011-09-07T09:47:00.008-04:00

Ahhhh, I love my nueropsychologist. If she wasn't 190 yrs old, I think I might propose to her. We dove into some of my childhood issues but oddly enough all of my sentences seemed to loop back to my ex-girlfriend...my greatest pain. My neuropsychologist has my ex-girlfriend and I pegged. My ex-girlfriend has opportunism disorder and only comes back to me when it is convenient for her, her life, her schedule and I have been trained to take it. I have fallen back into my old ways of waiting on my ex-girlfriend. I am writing a book again filled with the love that we shared together and I'm sleeping with other girls to pass the time as I wait for my ex-girlfriend to decide to show back up in my life for good. My neuropsychologist asked me the greatest question yesterday and it made me sit up straight and take stock of my life and situation.
She asked, "Are you willing to grow old waiting on your ex-girlfriend?"
My mind erupted as it began shouting inside my head, "Holy shit Batman. What the Fuck? Oh fuck me? What am I doing? What have I done?"
My neuropsychologist is right. I just let a year of my life slip away waiting on my ex-girlfriend to come back to me. All of my time, energy, money, thoughts, have all been consumed trying to get her back. Its all documented, everyone can watch me on Youtube crying over her, you can read my book, That's all HE wrote about my bleak situation last Nov. and then my realization as I came out of it and trying desperately to get her back into my life. I've done all I could, flowers, limo, taking her out, being available for her any time she chose to talk to me and then when I got cancer...it was all for nothing. A year has gone by and last time I waited over 10 years for her...I dated her when she was 34. She is now 35 and she will be turning 36 soon. We aren't getting any younger...

This 27 year old Russian nurse talks to me like I haven't been spoken to by another girl since my ex-girlfriend. She made me get STD and HIV tested. I found out my results...100% CLEAN of EVERYTHING! Nothin, not a drip! Only thing they said was that my Hep B immune was low and I should get a series of 3 shots. No problem, done. I was pretty sure, because like I've said before, even though I've slept around I'm always careful. So now I'm just waiting for Sept. 12th to find out about my fight with M&M. Did it reach my lymph node?

My neuropsychologist put it to me this way. On Sept. 12th if I find out that I'm cancer free in my lymph node and it was all successfully removed on the day of my operation, then I get my second chance in life. I get an opportunity to experience life like I never have before. I will have beaten alcoholism (I know its a life long journey, but seriously no one is shoving a bottle of booze in my mouth, pretty easy to beat), cancer, and I'm STD free (For now, I know I've got to be extra careful with my actions going forward).

I just turned 35 in July, I've got a great job with Gannett (Thank God/Chaos/Luck/Chance/Allah/Buddha/etc.), I'm STD free, and perhaps cancer free. I can start a new relationship with a girl and give her all of me that my two ex's never got to experience. Maybe the 27 yr old Russian nurse with a body tighter then a nun's asshole? But what if the ex-girlfriend comes calling? When I got cancer she called me while I was out on a date with another girl. I left the girl I was with for over an hour to give all of my attention to my ex-girlfriend...

On Sept. 12th I have a choice to make if I'm given the good news about my cancer. Do I start a brand new relationship with this second chance in life or do I grow old waiting on my ex-girlfriend?

My ex-girlfriend always used this saying, "Everything happens for a reason" which I think is complete bullshit. Things happen in life and you have to adjust to it, adapt to it, and make the best decisions you can with what you are given in front of you at the time. "Everything happens for a reason" is sugar coating the hardships that life deals us throughout our lives. But for her, at this moment, I will use her saying for my situation at hand...I wrote a trilogy based on our love together while I was separated from my ex-girlfiend for over 10 years. Now I am starting another book that I am pouring the love we shared together in my characters Navarro and Dionisa while I am once again separated from my ex-girlfriend. Perhaps that is our fate, to never truly be together, but for me to use the love that we shared together when we had it in all of the books that I have written and will continue to write? Perhaps I go on to become an established legitimate American Author? Perhaps all the drive that I attain to write my books is fueled by the love that I can never experience again? Perhaps our love story is a tragic story but one that I will be able to use to achieve all of my literary goals? Maybe we can be buried next to each other after death? All of my books that I have written may be poorly spelled, crudely written, roughly edited, but I assure you that the love that the characters in my book experience is as real as the author is that writes these very words you are reading...
"Everything happens for a reason" said my love to me...perhaps it does my love, perhaps it does...

4,3,2,1...

2011-09-06T10:14:00.013-04:00

I'm having a hard time concentrating until I reach 9/12 10am...
Everyone tells me to think 'Positive' or they are 'Praying' for me. Its all nice but none of that matters. It is what it is, Cancer isn't praying or thinking its just doing and it just comes down to if it reached my lymph node or not...plane and simple.
I'm just going about my life as if everything is going to work out for the best and I feel pretty damn good about myself right now. This past weekend was Labor Day Weekend. I went on a bunch of dates and had girls over and I think its safe to say my drinking days are behind me. I'm narcissistic, I feel good and I look good and I like that, way better then when I'm partying all the time hung over and tired looking. I went on a date with a cool girl and after our date I told her, "I'm going back to my house and watch Netflix and I'm not going across the water to Jenks and Martell's Tiki Bar for easy pickings." She said, "Good, you should go home and keep yourself out of trouble." She's right, I'm 35, at some point I have to grow up and be more responsible its just changing my learned behavior. I still had girls over at my house, I gave them wine and I poured diet ginger ale with Pomegranate/Blueberry Juice, taste good and so good for you. I hooked up with a girl last night that I've hooked up with before so it wasn't like I just brought home a random chic from Martell's and I'm always safe but if any damage has been done its already done until I get my results back. I've slept around a lot but I am seriously safe all the time but my Russian Nurse said I'm not with getting Blow Jobs and even with condoms I still need to be checked...so I am. So not drinking over the holiday was no problem. I did hook up and I'm trying to change that behavior to something more meaningful, but to commit to one girl that I sleep with, that is the behavior I'm having the most trouble with. Like last night after the girl left, depression hit me because I wasn't with the girl I want to be with and never will again, normally I would start drinking until I don't feel anything again. But last night I just laid in bed and fucking stewed in bed. I felt like I was in a big iron pot filled with water and a small fire was lit beneath me that was slowly growing and I just had to sit in the water and take it as the water began to boil...

All right I'm about to rip through a lot of stuff. I have to see my Neuropsychologist today so this is going to be my sounding board before I go to see her and I'm going to try to collect my thoughts. If you don't want to read the thoughts of a sober mad man that thinks he can make it Big Time in the Literary World then don't read any further...this is going to deal with problems in my head...

9/11 10yr anniversary fucking heavy day for everyone
9/12 10am fucking heavy day for me
9/17 Date Russian Nurse, do I give her a fair shake or do I go back to my old ways as Naked Author - KGB Agent 0069 and exploit the Russian World for my own pleasure.
9/21 1 month anniversary of sobriety and of not communicating with my ex-girlfriend.
a)21 cocks inside of her 3 spots, 21 divided by 3, its a 7 cock train
running on time through her
b)21 lies she said: 1)"I want to sleep alone in bed" No, You want to sleep with other men in your bed. 2)"I want the sound of silence on my phone" No, you want the sound of other men's voices, their text, and sext then me. 3)"I have to think about being a good mother" No, you are thinking about riding other men's cocks and nothing to do about your mothering. 4)"It's complicated" No, your cock count is complicated nothing else is. 5)"I want to be independent" No, you want to be single and be fucked by other men. 6)"I'm in a good spot right now" No, your 3 spots are being filled good right now. 7)"I'm happy where I'm at" No, you aren't, if you were you would leave me the fuck alone and stop thinking about me, like I still fucking think of you.
I could go on with 14 more, but this is just my sounding board before therapy today...
c)21 - 1 year I tried 2 do everything I could to get her back and she chose not to come back to me no matter how hard I tried, how much I needed her, and even when I got Cancer...

9/21 is going to be the hardest date for me and its not because of alcohol. I hear a dirty word and one I'll have to live with forever called relapse. The second I take a drink no matter when from this point on its a relapse. Fuck that, it means I'm fucking weak. Weak to alcohol never, weak to cancer nope, weak in MMA not a chance, weak in my fight to make it in the Literary World not gonna happen. Weak to the Power of Someone's Pussy...fuck me...what the fuck is wrong with me...it's not just that. Trust me there are way hotter girls then her out there and hotter dudes then me...why the fuck do I keep thinking about this one fucking girl? For fucking 15yrs...

9/25 will be my Cancer Surgery Anniversary. Maybe I'll get a back massage? A light one.

You think I'm going to make it in the Literary World? How can anyone take the gimmick of the Naked Author seriously for my written work, my books, my art? All these girls believe that I have something going for me. Maybe the only thing I have going for me is what's in between my legs that they believe in? I'm the most confident insecure man...
I did notice a lot of girls seem pleased with me cleaning up my act. As if a lot of them were hoping and waiting for me to do so and were just putting up with me when I was fucking crazy partying all the time...

All these Girls are the best...wiser then I...kinder then I...sweeter then I...except one that I...

my latest greatest Navarro Mitchiner Part 8
http://jasonmitchiner.blogspot.com/

Good is not so Nice

2011-09-04T11:23:00.009-04:00

The Dr.s told me that I wouldn't be running for four weeks after my surgery. I ran 3 miles on my treadmill the day after my surgery. I took pain killers the weekend right after my surgery Hydroco 500mg. I think it can also be called Vicodin. I stopped taking them after last weekend and I switched to Aleeve during the day and nothing at night.
This weekend has been interesting, the surf is going off all along the Jersey Shore, all the girls I'm talking to are partying everywhere, from wine tasting, to seafood festivals. Everyone is living up this holiday and the great weather. I on the other hand feel like I'm still coming out of my fog of alcoholism and emotional mess over my ex-girlfriend.
I ran 8 miles on the beach yesterday and watched everyone surfing. I wanted t surf so bad but I can't risk ripping my back open and drowning. When I got home yesterday my body crashed so hard on me. I took a shower and then I slept all afternoon. I woke up in the evening and I didn't feel like going out anywhere or meeting up with any girls. I rented, Pollock, on Netflix. Netflix is awesome, you can watch as many movies as you want for $8 a month (sorry for the plug but I really do like this deal). Watch this movie too, Pollock, its intense, the true story of Jackson Pollock. Amazing to see an artist at work and how alcoholism can destroy a man. I remember when I was at AA and seeing people not with Blood Shot eyes like I've had after a hard nights' drinking but with Yellow Glazed eyes from permanent damage of alcohol. I remember watching their hands shake at AA like we were under mortar attack from the enemy...
Everyone was partying everywhere yesterday and I had no interest. I'm sort of like an old man at 35, watching movies alone at my house, taking naps in the afternoon, and drinking Kool Aid with a date. Also, I realized that I need to be more mindful of who I bring back to my house because we are all adults here and one things leads to another and my old ways that is all I've been doing and I'm trying to change that behavior...

Back to the movie, Pollock, what Jackson Pollock got to experience was his art being appreciated and recognized during his life time. All of my books have not been recognized nor appreciated by the masses. What I envy about painting is that there are no editors, proof readers, second/third/fourth drafts needed to complete a painting. It is left to the painter to tell the world that it is ready to be shown. All of my books are in need of proof readers, copy editors, revisions, etc for them to become diamonds and unless I ever get a book deal with a legitimate publisher all of my books, will never be as great as they could be. All of my fame, publicity, interest by the World in me is all from the Naked Author and not from art, my books that I have written. When I look at the stats of my blog Jason William Mitchiner where I am publishing for free my latest books there are maybe 5-10 people a day in cyber space that read it. Where my blog Naked Author gets 100-500+ of people a day reading me, the Author and my life. My blog Naked Author gets picked up by other media. I am the story and not my books and there for I am in constant anguish over this. Pain that I desperately want to escape that I have created the monster Naked Author that has surpassed any interest in the books that I have written. But I must continue to write my books...it is the core of all that I am.

As I'm writing my next book of Navarro Mitchiner and now Dionisa his True Love. I'm bringing back pain of my own feelings of True Love. My real life story of True Love is over. I tried getting her back for a year with flowers, limo, taking her out, being at her beck and call night and day, and then what she did to me after I got cancer was reprehensible. I have lost all love for her, I am not in love with her. When I think of her, I see her bent over with her smiling face as another man is pumping away at her filling her up. She decided to play her games from before with me again and she has broken me. I'm done playing her games. But when I write of Navarro and Dionisa it is my own True Love that I pull from that makes my writing all the more painful. Even though I am done with my ex-girlfriend the two years we spent together in our 20s and the two years we spent together in our 30s were the happiest moments of my life I have ever shared with another person ever. And its from there that I will pull all of my love for my characters...so in a way I am never truly able to ever be done with my ex-girlfriend and the thoughts and feelings we shared together when we did. It is serious pain and one that I want to escape with Wine and other Women...but I wont.

Being good takes a lot of thought, planning, and not being impulsive. Being good is hard work. Being bad is so much easier, I don't have to think about my actions, I just do them, but the consequences can be great and life altering...

Let's take the Russian Nurse for example. She yeld at me yesterday for running on the beach without a shirt on. I didn't think much of it, I didn't think I was going to run on the beach so far and for so long. She is a sweet girl that is so thoughtful and caring about me and is just getting to know me. But she knew me before summer when I was a drunkin mess, she knew me before cancer, and she is eager to be with me now. But there is a big part of me that wants to just use her and exploit her. My old way, I would spar her father and put it on Youtube (I might anyway), bang his daughter, Tweet all about the Russian lifestyle around Brighton Beach Brooklyn and then lose my interest and move on. As an author I want to see, taste, and touch everything to bring it back to my writing in my books. But with this girl I'm trying to change my old ways. With any girl that I get involved with I'm trying to make it a more thought out decision of someone that I will be serious with for at least some time. Its hard for me to change 15 years of learned behavior of just using girls until my ex-girlfriend shows up...its so hard to change this behavior. I'd say changing this behavior is what I'm struggling with the most.

Being sober is nice.
Beating cancer will be nice.
Taking another girl seriously in a relationship...is so hard, especially when I'm writing a book and pulling on all of my thoughts and feelings of True Love...this is so fucking hard. And for what? Just to write another self published book that no one is going to read? I went to the Book Expo at the Javits Center in NYC. I saw all of the Published Authors at their booths rubbing elbows with everyone in the Legitimate Publishing World. I saw all of the celebrities doing their book signing for the masses. And then I saw in the back of the Book Expo the self published authors, kept in the back like rats. The scourge of the Publishing World are we the Self Published Authors...God Fucking Damnit I've Got To Make It!!!
Clear me of Cancer Sept 12th and I'm coming strong with new books and a new mind and body...more to come...

Deal with the Devil, with the People, with Myself, and with God

2011-09-03T06:43:00.015-04:00

As you know I gave up alcohol for good. I had my Lt. Dan moment with God during Hurricane Irene and he said that if I abstain from the forbidden fruit (alcohol) I shall receive all the riches from the World that I seek. And you all know that I seek a lot. My ID gets carried away sometimes...
I had a girl over last night at my house. A girl that knows all about my changing ways, etc. She came over and I offered her wine that I still have around my house and she let her hair down...
In my changing ways I figured out that I will order cranberry juice and espressos on dates and I have my cancer line to use at parties and events if anyone asks me to take a drink. But I haven't thought of what my game plan is for bringing girls back to my house in my new sober state, not at all how I would usually roll.
I offered the girl wine and poured myself a tall glass of kool aid. There we are together on my couch, a pretty young girl sipping wine in a champagne flute with her hair down and her long legs stretched out across my body and there I am smiling at her with a giant kool aide smile from ear to ear like I'm 12yrs old. I'm not saying I wanted a sip of wine or any type of alcohol in the least. Far from it. I'm just saying I need to have Pelegrino or something a little smoother then kool aid at my house for when I have girls over. I've given up going out to the bars and clubs by myself but I'm still going on dates and will have girls come over. I just need to get my new sober game down a lot tighter because the kool aid kid just doesn't make me feel myself. This is just a whole different world that I'm in being a 35 yrld man, with a job, girls over at my house, and I'm drinking kool aid. I'm still in shock and this new life will take a little getting use to.

Then I'm meeting with this other girl who is a little closer to my age this weekend. I gave her my rap that I'm trying to become the next Stephen King/Mary Higgins Clark blah blah blah. And she says to me, "That would be quite the achievement." Girls 30 and under that I lay my rap on them about trying to make it as a legitimate author believe in me. Women 30 and over are skeptical and wonder if I have the 'Peter Pan' syndrome going on.

So lets find out once and for all, all for one and one for all. I made a deal with the Devil to make it and he gave me Cancer. I met with God during Hurricane Irene and he said that I will achieve all that I desire as long as I don't drink. So let me make a deal with you. That's right you reading my blog...

September 12th at 10am I will find out if Cancer reached my lymph node. If Cancer has reached my lymph node all bets are off and the Devil wins. I take all drugs possible, bang as many chics as possible and speed dial Dr. Jack Kevorkian. It's over R.I.P. Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner.

September 12th at 10am I find out Cancer did not reach my lymph node. God wins when he told me in the eye of Hurricane Irene if I abstain from alcohol I will achieve all that I desire in the World. I get my second chance in life.

My deal with you, if I get my second chance in life, you better believe I'm going to use and cherish my body. I will abstain from alcohol. I will train MMA for my next fight like I never have before. I will be very selective who I sleep with and only do so in committed monogamous relationships (no married women or one night stands). I will continue writing my 5th book that I will deliver for you by the end of the year.
I will do all of these things for you for free, for no reward, no gold, no prizes, nor treasure. I will keep you abreast of my struggles with all the pain that I face in the Entertainment World, Literary World, and my personal World, without escaping any of it through alcohol or any other substance. I will face all of my failures squarely in front of me with the whites' of my eyes. I will give you 100% of me in all that I write, all that I say, and all that I do.

What I ask for you in return is the strongest form of advertising known to man, word of mouth. Tell my story of me the under dog, self published author that has the dreams and determination to make it as a legitimate author (While I'm still alive! Doesn't matter much once I'm dead).
That's all I ask of you. I'll do my part and if you can do yours I'd be much obliged.

My story is pretty interesting, nearly had to end my own life when I lost it all last Nov. I get cancer and my "True Love" says she's coming back to me only to tell me before surgery that she is fucking other men over me and won't see me. I end up in the hospital nearly drinking myself to death the weekend before my cancer operation. Now Sept. 12th we will all find out if God or the Devil wins.

If God wins, I will give the World all that I can write and do until my dying day at a much later date.
If the Devil wins, my dying day is upon us and I will leave the World with many books unwritten and dreams never realized...

My latest of my 5th book Navarro Mitchiner http://jasonmitchiner.blogspot.com/

Fall Naked Author into the Foliage

2011-09-02T08:24:00.009-04:00

I've never looked forward to the changing of the seasons more then I am right now. I want to get so far away from summer and leave it all in my past. All the things I've done. All the things that have happened to me. I want to distance myself from it as much as possible...but somethings I never will.
I was at MMA last night and one of the young MMA fighters asked me about my story. There is a bit of fascination that a lot of the young MMA fighters have with me because lets face it, I'm not the norm in the sport of MMA. Everyone in my gym knows that my ground game isn't my strongest but I will bang away with the best of them no matter what happens to me. Everyone sees the giant stitches in my back and sees me still trying to train my hardest. This is just who I am, this isn't made up or for show. I have some kind of drive burning inside of me that pushes me constantly and I joke around that its for the Kabillion dollar book deals and all the fame and fortune the World has to offer. But it's not, I push myself this hard whether everyone is watching me or not, I don't know any other way.
Anyway, this kid last night asked me, "So why did you get divorced again and you don't see your son?"
I said, "To be with someone that I thought was the Love of my Life only to find out she wasn't. I got divorced for her and she got divorced for me and we still couldn't make it work."
The young MMA fighter said, "Damn, you committed adultery and you blew your marriage all for nothing. See that's what happens when you do that shit."
I smiled at the young kid and said, "Well that is one way of looking at it."

I drove home last night thinking of that and all my actions that I've done in the past. Yeah, I slept with another man's wife. I've always looked at it that any woman that wants to sleep with me is a gift and I am all to happy to take it. But now I'm realizing its not always a gift and I need to think long and hard before I take action again and think about consequences that might ensue. Like an STD for example.

My new Russian Nurse is all over me and she is being a Super Strong Super Ego. Which I need and like...for now. She told me to get HIV and Hep panel tested for everything. The only thing they can't test for is HPV in guys and from what I understand most men that are my age that are sexually active already have HPV. I think its fair to say I've got that and I think it came up with a girl I was with already...
My Russian Nurse also told me that nearly no one can use a substance of any type and not develop some amount of dependency on it. Alcohol, tobacco, weed, pills, coke, etc. No matter how small the use is there always is a type of dependency, like when we say, "I had a stressful day at work, I'll have a ____(drink, joint, pill, cigarette, etc.)." She is right with me that I did develop a dependency on alcohol and always justified why I should take a drink and always trying to escape the pain.

Like what the MMA fighter said to me last night, it doesn't feel good. What I did with ending my marriage and to be with someone else and failing at that is as deep of a scar inside of me as the one I now carry on my back. Its pretty unbelievable all of this pain that I have all around me at my surface. But I don't crave alcohol and I haven't had a drink since my "True Love" melt down August 21st. This is the thing about me, yes I have Irish blood in me that justifies my drinking, fighting, and writing abilities. But then I also have Spanish blood in me (probably from 5,000 years ago, I did a National Geographic DNA Test and got my male ancestry from 50,000 years ago to the present). The Spanish blood in me is proud and set in my ways. When I say that I'm going to do something you can put it in the books before the event takes place that I will do it. So when I say that I'm not drinking, you better believe I will not drink. Like I said before if anyone pressures me to take a drink I have the best line ever, "I had cancer and ever since then Alcohol doesn't agree with my body." Its a great line and well kinda true. But I'm also narcissistic and I care about ME, and when ME don't want to drink, ME ain't drinkin.

I'll tell you I have never seen whiter eyes on myself then I have now, like a 10yrld boy. I smiled at an old man yesterday when I was at the beach for no apparent reason...
This Russian Nurse jokes around that I'll flake out on our date and not show up for it or once I find out I'm cancer free I'll lose interest in her. These are all valid concerns she has. My old ways I may have done all of the above. But I'll go into this and give it a fair shake. Meeting family right away concerns me, even though in her culture its not a big deal on a Sunday to have a lot of friends and family over. In my culture as a dude, meeting family is a big deal and one that whether I'm sober or not can send me into a cold sweat...

I don't know what my future holds...I don't know what is around the corner...But I will tell you I'm going to see it with the clear whites' of my eyes.

I'm so ready for Sept 12th to come and for Fall Foliage...ahhh with every dead falling leaf from summer ends...my new life begins.

Later Jersey Shore hello Russian Reds of Brighton Brooklyn

2011-08-31T11:13:00.007-04:00

Wow...ok...
Well my high class Manhattan chic works with the hospitals in Manhattan as a manager in nursing for all five boroughs. But she lives on the Russian side of Brooklyn. She has crazy beautiful genetics, I thought she was 28 she is only 27 and looks 19 and has her own place a Co-Op as I already said in Brooklyn. The picture posted is not a picture of her. I'm not going to post pictures of girls that I'm seeing anymore but the picture is to give you an idea of what I'm dealing with. Or if you have ever been to a high end strip club in NYC and all of the chics are Russian you have got a good idea. Not that my chic is a stripper, nor would I ever date a stripper, but she could easily do that if she wanted to with the body she has been blessed with.
So I'm changing my old ways and I'm talking to this girl first and fucking will come later. Where before I was always fucking first and then listening to their blah blah blah while waiting for Ms. Sunshine to show up and drag me away...
But my new chic she knows about me, she knows my ways, she knows I blew her off before summer started and what I've been up to on the Jersey Shore. She has only been in a few serious relationships and in her culture that isn't what women do, sleeping around like I do. I explained to her that American's do what American's want to do, it's the American way, and I'm a fucking proud American. She told me to take my proud American ass to get STD and HIV tested. She is in the nursing profession and said that most STDs are transmitted between 25-35 when you are the most sexually active and once you start sleeping around you develop the 'well now I've done it once, who cares who I sleep with now?' attitude. She is right that's exactly how I've looked at it, when I was sleeping around on girlfriends and once I got married and still sleeping around, that is how I looked at it, why stop now? I guess it's only fitting that I find out if I get a second chance in life after I beat cancer that I'm also STD and HIV free too.
This is a great girl, a smart girl, a beautiful girl, a Strong Super Ego, what is she doing with me right?
I told her that I'm changing my ways and she is all for it but she also said that she comes from a large family and on Sundays they all get together and eat and drink a lot. Drinking is part of their culture and costumes so what do I do? I figured it out. I will tell everyone that after my cancer alcohol just doesn't agree with my body anymore, done. Nobody can question that and if they still push for me to drink, I'll show them my giant pirate scar and that will shut em up.
She warned me that her father was the boxing champ of the Ukraine and he use to pose nude for artist in NYC to sculpt and paint him and he is only 47 and looks like he is 35. Wait I'm 35, WTF?! She is 27, I'm 35, and her dad is 47...I feel like the monkey in the middle. I already have my Oedipus complex with my own biological father and now I can feel it towards hers. Great her father had his time in the sun when he was younger. My time is right now. I'm beating cancer and getting my new chance at life STD, Drug, and Cancer free. I'm writing new books, trying out for Reality Shows, and getting back into the cage to fight MMA. Maybe he can hold pads for me or something.
We talk all the time me and her, like old friends that are catching up, its surreal. I use to date girls in Manhattan and Hoboken and I've got it dialed in. I'll go up to her place Thursday night after work, then drive into North Jersey for work Friday and then spend the weekend with her and go back home to the Jersey Shore Monday after work then train MMA all week and repeat.

Sept 12th 10am I find out the outcome of my cancer.
Sept 17th Official Date with the Babnik and the Baba and I'll let her drink plenty of baboukladčik while I drink my cranberry juice and espresso.
Sept 18th Family Day Show down between the 47 yrld Red, Nude Model, Boxing Champ of the Ukraine and the 35 yrld American, Naked Author, modern day MMA Fighter. Rocky 4?
Sept 25th Tunnel to Towers Race, Naked Author comeback in my new look and new life.
Good story so far? Totally not how I thought it was going to be written.

Labor Day weekend is coming up and I'm not going out to any bars or doing anything like that. I'm seeing my Neuropsychologist Sept. 6th and run everything by her and make sure I'm not jumping into anything too fast. I know I have cancer right now and I am a bit more vulnerable and emotional then the normal emotional mess I am...

Here is my latest from my book that I'm working on now about my dear Navarro Mitchiner in Spain...enjoy...more to come.
http://jasonmitchiner.blogspot.com/

ID killed my SuperEgo...the resurrection of my Ego Begins

2011-08-30T08:00:00.019-04:00

I've been living by my ID without a woman by my side as 'I want' controls my life. Without a woman by my side that becomes my Super Ego telling me 'Yes or No' 'What I can and can not do.' I never had parents that raised me with a Super Ego, I was never given my 'Moral Compass' by them. I was told by my parents that I am a bad person, I was neglected by them, abandoned, etc., but no Super Ego was ever instilled in me by them. I know basic right and wrong, like not to kill someone, not to steal from someone, and not to sleep with your wife...well 2 out of 3 isn't bad.
When I have a strong woman by my side she instills the Super Ego in me. But when I am alone my ID takes over with 'I want'. I want to drink, I want to fight, I want to fuck.
I'm talking to my NYC Highclass Hospital Chic now and she yelled at me yesterday for pushing myself to go to MMA last night. She said that my body needs rest right now to repair itself from all of the dramatic things that have just happened to it. Thankfully the power was still out at my MMA Gym from Hurricane Irene last night or I might have dropped dead. I was feeling so weak yesterday for some reason...
But now its time for me to develop my Ego, that can balance my ID and my Super Ego together as I become a healthy individual.

I'm writing my book now of Navarro Mitchiner in Spain. I'm doing research on Spain right now. I love the country, I love all of the Civil Wars that broke out for them to find their own sense of nationalism. I was dating my Italian girl from Tuscany over the summer and she had me change in my book chateaus to villas. As in Italy and Spain that is what they are called. She was a good Super Ego...too bad I ended that one...

I find out September 12th at 10am what the results are of my cancer if it made it to my lymph node. "God" already told me what to expect so I shouldn't really worry about it...but I am.

After I get healthy I plan on making a serious go at my NYC girl that I'm talking to now. She is a strong beautiful, independent woman, a great Super Ego for me. I just need to get my Ego up and running and keep everything balanced. I guess in a way you could call Naked Author my ID, he is all 'I want I want I want' and you could call Jason William Mitchiner my Super Ego 'The do's and don'ts.' Now I need to work on blending them both together in a healthy balance...

Fun facts about my surgery: My left arm hasn't permanently swollen up, YES! But I found out that I can never have blood drawn from my left arm for the rest of my life, NO! Everyday I wake up I feel different...sometimes full of life and energy and sometimes tired and depressed, wait that sounds like any old day, Whoops!

I'm worken hard on my next book people! I guess at this point I'll just self publish it again? I guess I'll be like the crazy cat person from, The Simpsons, but I'll have my self published books all around me and throwing them at people...Jesus, I'm going to be my own fucking walking library.

Hello Me, nice to meet You, we've never Met

2011-08-29T04:40:00.013-04:00

It felt good having my Lt. Dan moment yesterday with "God" on the beach during Hurricane Irene yesterday...so good.

I've got this Cancer beat. All I need to do today is schedule my next appointment with Robert Wood Johnson hospital next week to go in and have my final bill of health given to me so I can move on. I'm going to MMA tonight. I have legs and I'll be able to do leg drills and I can work my right arm and watch BJJ.

I've got alcoholism beat. I don't crave alcohol. I crave escaping pain and I crave excitement of going out. That is all learned behavior. Last week I was so scared of facing my new life without the escape and excitement of alcohol. The pain I'm facing now of having cancer, of my ex-girlfriend now fucking other men over me, and other pain I'm facing and dealing with it and finding out I can do it all without alcohol. This weekend coming up is Labor Day Weekend and I have to change my behavior of going out to the clubs and the bars and I now I realize I can and will...

I was clearing out my phone of girls that I know will lead me down the path of my old ways. And I've been surprised that the girls that I've told I'm changing my lifestyle are all supportive of my changes and think its great for me. I came across this one girl's number that I met organically in the city awhile ago before summer started. She is a typical Manhattanite, 5'8something, size 0, dressed head to toe in the latest greatest fashion. She's some big wig in the NYC hospitals and a 28 year old strong independent woman. We had started talking a lot and texting. Then summer started and I started blowing her off because in the summer I'm not going up to the city to see any girls they can all come down to me on the Shore and besides just about every weekend I was down around Jenks in Pt. Pleasant, NJ partying anyway. I remember one summer night she called me while I was out at some bar with some girls and she made me go upstairs at the bar and talk to her for over an hour and I don't remember at all what we talked about, but I remember her telling me when I tell her I'm going to call her she expects me to call her and so forth. I remembered being shocked by her talking to me this way because the only girl that I allowed up until this point was my ex-girlfriend.
Anyway, I'm clearing out my phone after last week before my surgery and I decide to hit her up. She doesn't miss a beat and chews me out that I'm only contacting her now because its the end of summer, I can't go out anymore, I have cancer, and she is a big wig in a hospital. Which of course she's right about all of those things but hey like my ex-girlfriend always tells me, "everything happens for a reason." So now we are talking again day and night...

My Neuropsychologist and all the girls that I'm friends with now tell me not to start any relationships right now that I'm in no shape and that I have a really bad track record since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend last year. But now that I'm seeing my new Neuropsychologist she has my ex-girlfriend all dialed in. First off my ex-girlfriend is a school psychologist not a real psychologist as my Neuropsychologist keeps pointing out to me and there is a huge difference between the two. I keep giving my ex-girlfriend so much power and credit to everything she says to me as if its gospel. Also, my ex-girlfriend and another shrink said that I have commitment issues and may even be a sex addict. My Neuropsychologist pointed out that when I was with my ex-girlfriend I was happily monogamous in our relationship and it was my ex-girlfriend that keeps ending us for other men and has commitment issues not me. Bottom line, just like going out to drink and to escape pain is learned behavior, so is the behavior that I have towards all these other girls while I keep waiting for my ex-girlfriend to come back to me...

Just as bad as what my ex-girlfriend has done to me since we were in our 20s of leaving me for other men and then coming back to me. I too have learned this behavior and how to cope with it when she leaves me, by using other girls until she comes back to me...
So it's not me being a bad person or a sex-addict. It's learned behavior that my ex-girlfriend has taught me since we were in our 20s and we both are continuing to this day.

When my ex-girlfriend had killed me over Memorial Day Weekend, I started some relationships over the summer and I decided not to use and abuse these girls and write about them on my blog. But the second I got cancer and I got into contact with my ex-girlfriend I kicked them all to the curb as I have always done. One was a super cool Italian girl from Tuscany, fluent in Italian and with multiple degrees that setup my blog with ads and set me up on Twitter. I ended her before she even saw it coming for my ex-girlfriend.

You'd think girls wouldn't touch me, right? I mean now that I stopped using coed names and I'm honest with all girls up front that I'm the Naked Author and I may or may not write and destroy you in books and on my Blog and I have a serious ex-girlfriend that we may be the two biggest head cases together with the 'on again off again' thing going. But no, girls keep coming and trying to dig their claws into me. I think girls like the challenge? I think a lot of girls think they are the one that can beat my ex-girlfriend like my ex-wife thought. No girls like my ex-girlfriend that is for sure...

My Neuropsychologist told me that I need to cut out my ex-girlfriend like the Cancer that has been cut out of me. My Neuropsychologist told me I need to stop writing about her and asked me if I could? I can and I'll tell you why...When my ex-girlfriend and I were in our 20s we could have started our lives together forever, we shared "True Love" together. She chose to leave me for other men and she gave her excuses why when she came back to me in our 30s. Now in our 30s, she could have come back to me at any time in the past year but has decided to fuck other men over me.
I asked her, "Why don't we at least still fuck together? We were good at that, right?"
She said, "I have to see you in the whole big picture before I can have sex with you again." (meaning she has to see me with her, her son, and ex-husband. This is her typical riddle for retard speak she uses on me.)
This doesn't make sense because she is fucking other men over me that she isn't looking at the whole big picture with...I guess she's looking at a big dig in her mouth but she's not looking at them with her, her son, and her ex-husband. My ex-girlfriend is just full of shit and is giving up her ass for free to get slammed by other men over me. Then she thinks she can come back to me down the road to pick up her big load of taking her in, with her son, and her ex-husband in our daily life? No way, no thanks, and goodbye. I didn't make this decision. She made it and I just have to learn to live with it.

So I'm done writing about my ex-girlfriend and talking about her. What's so cool about my new life that I have now is that my ex-wife never got this out of me. My ex-wife got me when I was always in waiting for my ex-girlfriend. The second my ex-girlfriend came calling I was leaving my ex-wife, which I did. And now my new life that I have now, my ex-girlfriend never got this out of me either. My ex-girlfriend never got me clean and sober...
I'm a high energy dude...I feel weird not sedating myself with alcohol. I am full of so much life just bursting from me...

I'm going to MMA tonight, I've got books to write, I've got girls to thank and talk to...
I know I complain about not having any family during this Cancer crisis I'm going through right now but I'm well taken care of by so many great women...my Salvation.

Naked Author gets his Lt. Dan moment with God in the Eye of Irene

2011-08-28T11:50:00.024-04:00

I traveled to the edge of earth and met with God today in front of 40ft waves and 40 mph winds. This was our conversation together:
"Hello God, it is I, Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner." I said trembling alone on the edge of the sand with the roaring ocean crashing below me at my feet.
God said, "I know who you are my son."
I said, "Of course you do. You are God...duh! Umm...anyway, the reason I've come to see you today in the eye of Hurricane Irene is I need an answer to a question I have."
God said, "Continue..."
I said, "Well, see I kind of sold my soul to the Devil to make it in the Entertainment World and he got me on the Jason Ellis Show and then he almost put me on the Howard Stern Show helping me. But then he decided to inflict Cancer on my ass for doing these small favors for me."
I looked down at the waves crashing in front of me and said, "Then there is my ex-girlfriend that I thought would come back to me and be by my side now that I have Cancer and well..."
Suddenly the skies thundered and the waves seemed to climb another 40 feet in height as God said, "Jesus Christ already about you and your ex-girlfriend. I know all about it and so does the whole world. There is a reason there is no Mrs. God around. They will all drive you crazy!"
I pointed at the sky as I said, "Wait, you are God."
And then I asked, "Aren't you all one in the same? Like a He-She or something?"
God said, "Woah, just forget it for the moment it's not about me."
The skies suddenly grew quiet.
Then God continued, "This is about a question you have come to ask me about isn't it my son?"
I said, "Well this Cancer that the Devil gave me turns out to be a lot more serious then I ever understood. See I have never taken things too seriously in life so if things don't work out I don't get too hurt. But if this Cancer in my body doesn't work out...well then I'm dead."
God asked, "So my son, you want to know about your Cancer?"
I asked, "Yes God, I want to know next week when I meet with my Dr. Lee at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital if Cancer has spread to my lymph node?"
God asked, "What will you do my son if you do not like my answer?"
I could not raise my head up to God as I said starring out at the crashing sea, "Please God just answer me the one question."
I saw a seagull fly by, a fish jump, and I felt my mouth become dry as I waited for God's answer.
Then God's voice boomed from the heaven's above and he said, "You will have your second chance in life. But you must abstain from diluting it with the poison of the Devil that you have been blinding yourself with. You will find all the riches you seek and heaven on earth awaits you in your future as long as you abstain from the forbidden fruit."
I stood there in silence looking at the heavens above and then I took my hat off and scratched my head and said, "Um, God, I know you are almighty and great and powerful and all of that but well see, I had a really rough last week with my ex-girlfriend and she spoke to me in riddles for retards."
God asked, "What's that you say son?"
I said, "Well God not for nothing, but I really appreciate you being straight forward when you speak to me. Like when I asked my ex-girlfriend last week if she was having sex with other men over me, she would answer with, "I have to be a good mother right now." What does having sex with other men over me have anything to do with good mothering God?"
God answered, "You got me there my son."
I continued, "Then I asked my ex-girl friend why aren't we together right now? She's single and I'm single there is nothing stopping "True Love" from being together but ourselves. You know what she said to me God?"
God asked, "No, what?"
I continued, "She said our relationship is complicated."
God said, "Ouch."
Then I said, "Yeah I told her our relationship isn't complicated it's really straight forward. I want to be with you and you want to have sex with other men over me."
God asked, "What did she say?"
I said, "Nothing. That's the game she likes to play with me since we were in our 20s."
God said, "Yeah, wait...enough about you and your ex! What is the question that you want answered from me right here, right now?"
I said, "Next week, Yes or No, is there going to be Cancer in my lymph node?"
As God spoke lightning shot across the sky and he said, "No my son, next week your Dr. Lee will tell you that Cancer did not reach your lymph node. Your battle with Cancer is over."
I fell to me knees and tears ran down my face as I began to laugh and cry at the same time.
And I said, "Thank you God. Thank you!"
God said, "Don't worry about it, figured it was the least I could do since you walked all the way to the edge of the storm today to see me. Most people just go into a fancy church and think that will impress me."
I asked, "Now you are sure right God? I mean the Devil promised me one thing and then stuck me with this Cancer and my ex-girlfriend said she was coming back to me before my surgery and then said she loves fucking other men over me. So you are kind of my last shot here."
God said, "Um, I'm sure my son."
I said, "Ok, because you are the big guy and a lot of people are reading this Blog now and it's not going to be egg on my face if this is all wrong."
God said, "Get out of here before I have a Sperm Whale come by and swallow you like I had Jonah."
I said, "Ok, no problem. One last thing God, since it's just you and me here on the beach in the eye of Hurricane Irene and all that...um you think you can give me next weeks winning lottery numbers? Or who wins the Super Bowl or something?"
God voice bellowed from above, "And you called the Devil greedy?"
Lighting began to explode across the sky as the winds increased and the waves began to rise.
I ran off the beach shouting, "Thank you God!"

Thank you God
Thank you Hurricane Irene
Thank you Dr. Lee at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital telling me next week that my battle with Cancer is over...

Naked Author, Lt. Dan, and Hurricane Irene...the Perfect Storm

2011-08-27T14:15:00.007-04:00

Thank you God for delivering Hurricane Irene to my door steps tomorrow
Thank you God in my hour of need you have delivered what I needed most
I sold my soul to the Devil to make it in the Entertainment World and now he wants to take my life
True Love that you have no part in has struck me down against all hope and all salvation
My legs have been spared of lymph node amputation and I shall use them to greet you in the eye of Irene tomorrow

Tomorrow the Naked Author gets his Lt. Dan moment...my mind, body, and soul are so fucked...there is nothing I want more then whatever Hurricane Irene brings. I'll put all that I can on Twitter and my blog for as long as I can before power is shut off or I am...

Keep this Shark Moving...I need to meet Leonardo DiCaprio and I need a Shower

2011-08-27T03:31:00.011-04:00

When I was whining yesterday about my cancer surgery and that my left arm could swell up permanently for life because the lymph node was removed I realized that the day I became radioactive there was the possibility that they were going to remove all four of my lymph nodes. Holy Shit! Now I know why all the doctors were cheering when we found out only my left arm pit was going to have the lymph node removed. Had my groin lymph nodes been taken out I would never have been able to walk to the beach yesterday or walk right now period...damn dude.
So I got my legs that's good. I did some push ups yesterday and suddenly I got a shooting pain from my arm pit to the tips of my fingers like a knife had gone through it and my arm went numb. The cool girl that went with me to the hospital on the day of my surgery told me yesterday that if my arm goes numb the hospital has to be notified immediately. I was also talking to my cool nurse friend in NYC and she told me I don't want to tear any of my sutures and that I can cause permanent damage to my arm if I push it too much too soon.
So I'm trying to hold back right now. I'll stick to my legs and doing crunches right now. The only thing is I was sweating during my walk to the beach yesterday and the sweat getting into my wounds made me nervous. Also, I'm starting to smell. I want to jog on my tread mill today but then I run into the same two problems, sweat and smell. I'm allowed to shower tomorrow but I might lose power and water to my house tomorrow from Hurricane Irene...

I was watching the movie, The Departed, yesterday with Leonard DiCaprio and I got a kick out of his character always drinking cranberry juice when he went out to bars. Its a great idea. I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do moving forward dating girls and not going out to bars. When I took my 14/14 days and nights abstaining from Wine and Women after I set my house on fire over Memorial Day weekend I was drinking club soda when I went out and it sucked. It reminded me that I was torturing myself while others were having fun. But cranberry juice is so good for your body and I drink it at home all the time. I'm going through my cell phone now and starting to make cuts of girls that just want to go out to clubs all the time and that I could fall back into my old ways. But some of the girls are super cool and know of my changes now. So I'm thinking with some girls that I already know that I've met organically that when we go out together, when they order wine, I'll order my cranberry juice. That way I'm not cutting all of my girls out, the ones that want to work with me in my new lifestyle I'll still meet up with them. But when the weekend comes I'm not heading out to the local bars and clubs drinking and getting myself into trouble anymore.

Back to Leonardo DiCaprio...how do I get my first book, Full Moon Rising:Based On A True Story, in front of him? If I submit my poems and books for Literary Contest, which I'm going to do, I figure it will only take like...150 years for something solid to come through from the Literary World. But if I could get my book to Leonardo DiCaprio who I would like to play the starring role of Thomas William Mitchiner that is in love with Christiana Cortez, well Leo knows people in Hollywood like a Mr. Martin Scorsese. Leo and Martin have teamed up before making movies about historical fiction, one of my favorites, Gangs of New York. My passion is writing historical fiction. Leonardo DiCaprio plays well the anxiety that my main character Thomas William Mitchiner feels towards the love of his life Christiana Cortez knowing that they will never be able to be together forever. Sort of like a real life story I know...

What's that you say, impossible? That's the game in Hollywood right? Getting your script/book in front of the right people. I follow Leonardo DiCaprio on Twitter and I know he likes sharks and is into shark conservation. I too like sharks and enjoy scuba diving with them. I joke around about shark fucking because I think that is funny but that might just be me...
How can I do this? Set up a Catalina Wine Mixer like in the movie, Step Brothers? Do a Catalina Shark Mixer? Great White Sharks come to Catalina Island in the winter on the back of the island and hunt the seals...
Maybe if I tied my book to one of the sharks and put it on Youtube and then there is always shark fucking...is that even possible? Haha, there has to be an easier way...come on brain do something for once!

Two weird things I didn't know I would have after my surgery is blue pee and I have no voice. I think the blue pee is from junk they put in me while I was out on general anesthesia and I think I lost my voice because they shoved tubes down my throat while I was out...I wonder what else they did to my body while I was out that I don't know about? I'd write my initials on someone's ass or something...

Good luck fellow Jersyians and East Coasters during Hurricane Irene Today!

Forget my Broken Heart and Cancer, Hello Irene!

2011-08-26T14:32:00.008-04:00

Man...I came to today after surgery yesterday...
Both my ex-girlfriend and cancer hit me so hard and they both sent me to the hospital. I'm recovering now...as far as I'm concerned they are both over. I'm looking at it that all of my cancer has been removed from me along with my ex-girlfriend. I'll find out after next Monday for sure but I'm going full steam recovering. I did some ab work and worked my heavy bag with my legs and right arm.
I vaguely remember hearing something about hurricane Irene hitting NJ yesterday while I was at the hospital. I put on the news today...holy molly are we in for it!
I'm not allowed to drive right now but my legs feel fine so I started to go for a walk around my town where I live in Brick, NJ. I noticed a lot of hurricane boards are up on businesses and all propane supplies and batteries are sold out.
I walked the 4 miles down to the beach and what a beautiful day it was right before the storm. It reminds me of right before I was diagnosed with cancer. I felt so good and then bam! Storm hits. But I'm cleaning up now. Just like when the storm hits tomorrow and then Sunday. After it passes we will all clean up and be back to normal.

I'm done whining about my ex-girlfriend and cancer. They have both passed and starting today I have my new life to live. I'm excited about sending in my audition tapes to Survivor, Big Brother, and Bachelor(ette), it will be fun to see if anything happens. I wanted to surf so bad today. There were so many dolphins out and I would have had my GoPro Camera on and gone after them for some great footage...
Soon people...soon. My new life is coming and I'm going full bore now. Its going to be filled with surfing, MMA, and good relationships and a lot of writing.

Thanks for any and all support. My life has been one hell of a roller coaster since November...I'm looking forward to some stability now.
Later, Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner
Oh and here is my audition tape for the Show Survivor in case you missed it on my last blog. Great job my motion graphics editor Benton Stephens!
http://vimeo.com/28186647

Happy Ending...

2011-08-26T06:31:00.021-04:00

Wow, How did pirates deal with getting their backs slashed open in sword fights? Oh yeah they had alcohol to deal with the pain, fuckers...
The old me would have showed up for my surgery hung over but not now. I was all bright eyed and going in to this like it was a special birthday party for me that more then one person was going to show up for and everyone was going to dress in funny costumes.
My ex-girlfriend wasn't by my side and I was devastated. After what she did to me last weekend and now choosing to sleep with other men over me...I thought for sure I would die of a broken heart in the hospital last Sunday before Cancer got the opportunity...
Not having my son in the waiting room to hug and kiss and tell him I love him before I went in was devastating. I printed up a cool picture of him from NYC from last week when I had him that was so special to me and I clutched that picture everywhere they wheeled me to yesterday.
When I met with the dermatologist after my biopsy and she told me I have Malignant Melanoma and how aggressively metastasizing it is in my body and that I will be dead after summer if I don't get it treated. I couldn't really understand how a little spot on my back could kill me when I was feeling so great physically. I never looked up online my cancer, the stage that its at, and what I might be in for. I figured it is what it is and I will beat this like I do everything in life because I'm a survivor.
Now after yesterday, I am fully aware of what I am up against and how serious M&M is.
Before my operation I gave my doctor my camera and I told him, "I need you to take pictures of the Cancer that you cut out of me."
My Doctor, Jonathan H. Lee, looked at me like I was crazy, he had never heard of a patient demanding pictures of the lesions that are being removed from their own body.
Dr. Lee asked, "You want me to do what?"
I looked at my doctor and said, "I need you to take pictures of exactly what is trying to kill me."
Dr. Lee said, "I've never had such a request." Dr. Lee paused for a moment and then grabbed my camera and said, "But I want to make my patient happy."
I smiled and said, "Thanks Doc. I must look eye to eye at my killer."

After the surgery I asked Dr. Lee the million dollar question, "When will I find out if Cancer made it to my lymph node?"
Dr. Lee said, "I will know by next Monday if the Cancer has spread to your lymph node."
I asked, "Can you just call me as soon as you find out the results?"
Dr. Lee said, "No. Call on Monday and set up an appointment for after the following Monday. We must do this in person and not over the phone."
I said, "Oh, OK."
Dr. Lee and I just looked at each other in a moment of silence. Everything that was happening to me my brain was trying desperately to process at a million beats a second.
Then I asked the question I really didn't want to but felt that I must, "Doc, what are the next steps if Cancer has reached my lymph node?"
I looked at Dr. Lee's face as I asked the question and as he spoke I focused deep within his eyes.
He said, "Then there will be more cutting. Further surgery will be needed as well as as more aggressive treatment." As he spoke these words I saw lost hope within his eyes, I saw saddness, I saw comfort that he wanted to try to muster up in front of me but could not.
I said, "Shit."
Silence consumed the room once more and then Dr. Lee went to leave the room and said without looking me in the eyes, "And even if Cancer is not detected in your lymph node. There is a chance that your left arm may permanently swell up for the rest of your life."
He closed the door behind him as he left and I said, "Shit."

My new life starts today. I'm terrified of me. I'm terrified of facing all of my pain without escaping it all with Wine and Women. I looked at my pain medication and the label reads, "May intensify with the use of alcohol." Hey that sounds good to me, the less pain the better, right? I'll call up some of my chics on my phone and have one of them take me out tonight and we'll have a intoxicatingly good time. I deserve that after all that I've gone through, right?

No, I'm done with all of that and my old ways. I'm through with online dating. Online dating can go E-Harmony itself. I did online dating to get back at my ex-girlfriend. I've met a lot of really cool chics and I slept with a lot of them, and hurt a lot of them. Online dating isn't for me. I like meeting girls organically, that's how I met my ex-girlfriend and I want to search for those kind of feelings again. If it means I live a life alone then so be it. When I go on online dates all I hear is, "blah blah blah." And all I'm thinking is, "When are we fucking?" Then I get what I want and I'm like, "See ya." Maybe I'll keep them around for a couple of weeks if the fucking is pretty good or longer but I'll be on to other girls as well.

My whole new life is all about being organic. I already run barefoot and I love it, for the most part, except when I run on hot black pavement or step on glass and nails. But I only want to date girls from now on that I meet organically. I want to eat a lot more organic foods. Wear organic clothes. Eventually I want to get a new car that is made in the US and just runs on organic home grown stuff. This is the path that I'm on now. I'm scared to death of this path. Like I said, I'm scared to death of facing all of my pain from childhood through now without escaping it all through alcohol.
My new life begins today and I'm facing all of my pains head on but I may still have my final escape coming...one that I can not control like going out with Wine and Women. My final escape may be coming from from all of my pain from Childhood through now...Malignant Melanoma...it has the power to take my life and with it goes my pain...I'll find out next Monday.

Here is my Survivor Audition tape. http://vimeo.com/28186647
Next is Big Brother and Bachelor(ett)
If Malignant Melanoma does take my life...for all of my failures trying to make it in the Literary World as a Self-Published Author...Nobody Nobody Nobody can ever take away from me that I gave every single ounce of myself to make it...that I can live with...or die with...

New Beginning or Grand Finale?

2011-08-25T01:49:00.005-04:00

A super cool girl said, “When you wake up Friday morning it will be a whole new beginning for you.”

Such a cool way for me to look at it…I’m terrified waking up Friday…

This is every morsel of every ounce that I've got people. If my Books, Youtube, Blog, Twitter, and now my Audition Tapes for Survivor, Big Brother, and Bachelor(ette) isn't entertaining you I can't think of anything else to do on my own. I'm sorry if I come across Narcissistic, I'm given you all of my mind, body, and soul to make it...
If anything was ever to come from all of this and all of my dreams of making it as a legitimate author it has to be coming now...

If I don’t wake up Friday because things went south for me for whatever the reason…look if Cancer made it to my lymph node and I have to go through chemo and radiation, I’m checking out. Get Dr. Jack Kevorkian on speed dial. Naked Author – Jason William Mitchiner doesn’t go out from a stupid spot on my back that puts me through chemo and I die that way. Don’t send me arrest warrants for not mowing my lawn to take me to prison and don’t tell me Cancer made it to my lymph node.
Here is my body of work for everyone. I feel good about all that I’ve done. If you take my book, That’s all HE wrote, and you follow this outline below you will be able to read pretty much the story of my life. It hasn’t been easy, I’ve taken lemons and made lemonade at times and taken cherries and made arsenic. If anyone smells a book deal or anything let me know, I’ll let ghost writers do it all for me if I have to take the Snooki way out, I don’t care.

Let’s recap my life a little from around Nov-now.
1) A year ago before November I had my six figure job and I had my ex-girlfriend. Life was stupendous. We were going to pick out our house to live in together for the rest of our lives. The only question was when, where, and what size…
2) Then the economy goes crazy and I lose my six figure job at NJ.com in online advertising.
I spend a year on unemployment up until November with my ex-girlfriend and things are rocky but good for the most part as we both finalize our divorces to be with each other forever.
3) Then all hell breaks lose in November and my unemployment suddenly stops for no reason. I can’t get a job at Lowes or Home Depot or anywhere. I get arrest warrants in the mail for not mowing my lawn and parkway toll violations from driving to pick up my son, Donovan who lives in Maryland. I figure the only option I have is suicide and I push everyone in my life away by blasting them on the internet and I tell my ex-girlfriend how I feel not having a voice with her son and her ex-husband that is in her daily life.
4) December is coming and my date of suicide is approaching when suddenly a lady at unemployment presses a button and all of my unemployment kicks back in. I file bankruptcy and start to climb out of my abyss. I leave for Miami to get away from spending Christmas all alone.
5) Then I start trying to get my ex-girlfriend back starting in Miami. She gives me her reasons why she won’t. I send her and her parents flowers apologizing for my actions in November and she tells me she is getting a restraining order on me. I scream at the World through Twitter, my Blog, Youtube, and contacting Howard Stern and everyone else to try and get her back. I get into a fight with Baba Booey who calls me a drunk, bad parent, and that my ex-girlfriend is moving on to fuck other men over me.
6) February, I call out Jason Ellis who got me into MMA on Youtube and everyone notices a spot on my back. I don’t have a job at the time or any health benefits to get it looked at and I have no money for hospital bills and all of my bankruptcy was already being filed to take on any additional expenses.
7) March, I land an online ad sales job back with Gannett that I started my ad sales job 10 yrs ago. My ex-girlfriend starts to come back to me and I get us a limo to go up to NYC and celebrate our lives together forever. Then right before the limo comes, my ex-girlfriend tells me that she will not be with me and never explains why other then showing me how popular she is in the online dating world.
8) I join online dating and go on dates with all girls from NYC/NJ and tell them all I want a serious relationship and then sleep with them and write about them on my Blog and Twitter as I’m on my dates. I give girls fake names and give girls acronyms for however I want to use them and play my games with them as Naked Author - Secret Agent 0069.
9) June, my health benefits kick in and I’m able to get the spot on my back looked at. Memorial Day Weekend comes and I go on a drinking bender and make hamburgers in my oven. Then I passed out drunk and my house catches fire. Firemen, Police, and DYFS are all called on me. My son was with the ex-wife in Maryland and no formal charges were filed. My ex-girlfriend and I meet for a date after a chance encounter at a coffee shop and we talk about being together in every way. We go on our date together and she has death in her eyes and tells me she wants nothing to do with me and still tells me she is not fucking any other men over me.
10) July, my ex-wife and DYFS come down on me hard to examine taking my son away from me as an unfit parent. Results come back from my biopsy and it is Malignant Melanoma with aggressive stage of metastasizing. My employer Gannett gives me a new position with corporate and a background check is done on my resume and it is found that I never graduated college as I stated to get my foot in the door in ad sales over 10 years ago. I’m terrified of getting fired as Gannett has been terminating so many employees and if I lose my job there go my health benefits to fight cancer.
11) August, I’m rushed to appointments at Robert Wood Johnson because my cancer is more serious then I can really understand. I become radioactive. I take a different girl to the hospital each time because I don’t want them getting to close to me as I battle cancer. I expect my ex-girlfriend to contact me and ultimately be by my side. Which she does and I end all relationships of girls that I was kind of building.
12) My ex-girlfriend tells me we are having sex this past Friday and then she tells me we are not and she has been happily fucking other men over me now. She tells me that she might come back to me after I go to AA and clean up my act but will continue fucking other men and her timing of coming back to me is up to her as it always has been. I go crazy and end up in the hospital drunk on Sunday and you know it all from here…
13) When I wake up Friday it’s a whole new beginning as a girl said and I’m terrified.
As you just read, I thought I had things planned out and now I realize I do not. When I wake up Friday a new World begins for me, as long as the Cancer didn’t make it to my lymph node. It’s a clean sober world, a world that I will leave the 20yrld Taekwondo instructor and others that can put me back into my old ways, regardless of how much I would enjoy being with them for the next 5yrs until my Naked Author act gets old.
14) Everything in my life changes Friday. I plan on my comeback starting with the Tunnel to Towers Race in NYC on September 25. I plan on training MMA all the time and enjoying more fights. Is there a Cancer survivor league in MMA yet? That would be cool, eh? I’ll submit all of my audition tapes to Bachelor, Survivor, and Big Brother. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on the weekends? I’m going to continue writing my books that no one wants to read because I have to write, it’s the absolute thing that I know that I must do and I love doing it…and I’ll submit my books and written work to every Literary Contest I can find.

I’m looking at my new beginning on Friday and trying not to think about what I’m about to go through.
I’m so hurt that my ex-girlfriend isn’t by my side. I’m so hurt that she chose to fuck other men over me and be with them mentally and emotionally. I called her a lot of names in my email to her over the weekend when she told me she wants to fuck other men over me. I was devastated but I’ve got news for everyone, no other girl on planet earth has ever gotten an email like that from me, ever. Not to my ex-wife, girls on the side, girlfriends, never. You know why? Because I don’t care about any of them and guess who I do care about? My ex-girlfriend called my email abuse, I call it passion. I am a hot blooded Spaniard with bad Irish skin…

I’m so hurt I don’t get to see my son one last time before my surgery and I barely got to speak to him on the phone last night in Maryland at his mommy’s house.

If anyone needs an author, let me know. I’m not going out anymore so I’ll be writing about all the women that I want to be with, all the fights I’d like to get into, wars and battles of the past. The only thing is where am I going to find love to write about? It’s not going to come from online dating. Lots of fucking comes from online dating but True Love…

I’m so hurt by so many things in my life but I’m done trying to escape them. Time to face it all and become the new me…this is soooo fucking weird…it all starts Friday.

Goodbye Hemingway...hello ME?

2011-08-24T02:58:00.010-04:00

Wow this weekend and then going to my Neuropsychologist yesterday has been so heavy...
I'm getting ready to have my Cancer Surgery tomorrow of Malignant Melanoma. They are cutting it out of my back and removing a lymph node. If cancer made it to the lymph node...I'm fucked! And I'm dealing with that right now as I type and I was thinking about it all last week and last weekend...
This was my past weekend in a nutshell:
My ex-girlfriend contacted me last week and told me we are going to be having sex on Friday and for me to shave my beard. Up until now she has stood firm that she has not been fucking other men over me. Right before Friday came after I shaved she told me that we will not be meeting together and that she is now fucking other men over me...
I lost my mind and went on a drinking bender. I ended up in the hospital Sunday and asked for her to pick me up, she refused and asked for me to be sent to the psychiatric ward. All the doctors and nurses laughed at me because you have to be homicidal or suicidal to be entered and I am neither.
I told my Neuropsychologist all that has happened and my ex-girlfriend's patterns with me now that we are in our 30s and her pattern with me when we were in our 20s. The Neuropsychologist told me my ex-girlfriend has psychological problems herself and needs to see someone. She suffers from commitment issues, trust issues, and has opportunism disorder. Basically my ex-girlfriend comes back to me whenever it is convenient for her, regardless of my feelings...
She keeps using excuses and justifying why she is physically, mentally, and emotionally with other men over me.
I sent her this email over the weekend after she dropped the bomb on me that she is now fucking other men. I sent her other's but this one specifically she called it, "abusive" and that I need to share it with my Neuropsychologist which I did and will now share with you, my loyal readers.
"Why Christiana? Why weren't u straight up with me back in March and just
tell me you wanted to be with another man? Why did u give me false hope
for so long? When I sleep with girls it is meaningless. Im not
emotionally connected to them. But u my dear Christiana are very much
connected to your new man cock. Haha, and you let him sleep with you in
bed!
Why weren't you just honest with me?
You left me at 21 for other men's dicks and you've done the same
now...you are a funny one that I called True Love. Do you give him your
ass and moan for him like you did for me? Remember I use to go crazy
for that white film from yr pussy? I guess he is eating that now? I was
all about changing for you...but you gave up on me. I got u a limo, I
tried so hard....I was the biggest fucking tool with you. Ending my
marriage for you was the greatest mistake of my life. Ill never forgive
you. I thought we were different. You are just a typical slut. I cant
believe I left Donovan for you. Good cum swallowing bitch...
You picked another man's cock over mine. Why didn't u just tell me back
in march or memorial day weekend? Why? Whats wrong with you? You kept
telling me you wanted to be alone. No u didn't, u wanted to get fucked
by another man. U r so fucking weird."
My Neuropsychologist said that I was hurt and venting my pain and frustration of her choosing to sleep with other men over me which I was. I don't send her emails like that every day. It was after she dropped the bomb on me over this past weekend that she is continuing to fuck other men then to be with me.
I asked her the question "Why?" in this email and others. My Neuropsychologist said until my ex-girlfriend can admit to me and to herself that she is in a pattern of choosing to sleep with other men, she is hopeless and will continue this pattern.
My Neuropsychologist said that I need to cut her out of me like the Cancer is getting cut out of me. I want to bury my ex-girlfriend like you wouldn't believe right now after what she did to me this past weekend. She tells me that I don't keep anything private between us and that it is all over the internet. But trust me there is so much I want to put on the internet and destroy her with pictures, videos, soundbites, etc., of her but I won't. I might even be able to make some real money off the Naked Author slamming away Christiana Cortez? Better then my book sales, eh? I won't ever do that to her. She needs to look in the mirror and understand that she is not keeping anything private about herself and her body with her new men that she is fucking over me...
I want to destroy her and sleep with a million women to get back at her...but we are in a terrible destructive pattern both of us and I am stopping mine now. All the girls I fuck are to get back at my ex-girlfriend as I'm waiting for her to come back to me...terrible. She is fucking other men and keeps using excuses and justifying why she is continuing her behavior with me that she started when we were in our 20s...

The Neuropsychologist asked me the Kabillion dollar question that her and every girl I have ever been with wants to know...if my ex-girlfriend comes calling for me now will I allow her back into my life? The Offspring song, Self Esteem, comes to mind, eh?

So on to another fun topic I'm dealing with tomorrow, Cancer, Yeah!
I had to talk to Robert Wood Johnson Hospital where I'm getting my surgery done tomorrow and I was told that I can't wear jewelery, wear contacts, and asked all about my health. Everything was going smoothly about the questionnaire until they got to a question, "Do you smoke?"
I said, "No, but I just bought a tobacco pipe today and I plan on smoking it while I'm recovering at home after my surgery."
The people at the hospital freaked out on me and said, "You've gone your whole life not smoking why would you start now?"
I said, "I want something fun to do while I'm at home and writing. Puff a little smoke. A little Ernest Hemingway. No harm in that right? I gave up drinking. Can't I have something fun to do with my life?"
The hospital people said, "We are a cancer treatment hospital. Do you know how many patients we have to do surgery on for mouth cancer?"
I said, "But I'm just starting to smoke a pipe. I won't get mouth cancer right away."
Hospital people said, "You have no idea when you will get cancer in your mouth. Isn't having cancer in your back enough for you?"

Shitman...no fucking smoking a tobacco pipe now for me...Jesus H. Fucking Christ! Well if Cancer made it to my lymph node and I have to get chemotherapy and radiation. I'm smoking my goddamn pipe.

I'm super depressed about my situation right now but I'm not going to try to escape any of it with Wine and Women.
Labor Day Weekend is coming up and the Jersey Shore is going to be going off. I know my ex-girlfriend is going to be cock and balls deep with new men over me. It is going to be so hard for me to hold back over Labor Day Weekend...so fucking hard.
I don't know what to tell anyone...I have a new life to live now but at this point I don't know who I'm going to be living it with? I hate online dating. I despise it. The only reason I did it was to get back at my ex-girlfriend in March when I thought she left me for other men back then. There is no history in online dating, there is nothing organic or romantic in the meeting. All the girls I've dated from NYC/NJ have been super cool but it just isn't the same as meeting someone organically and I can't do that anymore at the bars or in hot pink spandex...

I don't know what my game plan is once I've recovered from everything. I use to just run the boardwalk in hot pink spandex with nakedauthor.com written across my bare chest and it was so easy to pick up girls.
I can see myself next summer walking the boardwalk all clothed with an umbrella trying to pick up girls in bikinis organically and coming off so super duper creepy...
All the girls that I know told me that if I continue the path that I'm on that I will end up the old dude at the club and bars that is going to be alone forever. Well as I see it right now, I'm going to be the clean, sober, super healthy fit dude that is going to be alone forever. Which is better? At least going out I was having fun. What's fun about sitting alone in my house on a Friday Night playing Scrabble? I can't even smoke a tobacco pipe? Fuck the day's of Hemingway are forever lost...

Am I Narcissistic?

2011-08-23T04:26:00.009-04:00

In everyday speech, "narcissism" often means inflated self-importance, egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. I got to look at my psychological evaluation after I set my house on fire by a shrink and it said that I am narcissistic and put myself before other's including my own son, Donovan. I justify my behavior because I think if you are going to make it in the Entertainment World, you have to put yourself first and believe in yourself when nobody else does. Nobody in the World thinks that I'm really going to make it in the Literary World and land the book deal but me. But it might be time that I reevaluate how I treat others around me...
The movie, Shrink, is great with everything that I'm going through right now. It gets a little slow but it has a super egotistical guy that is called narcissistic, self medicating people with drugs and alcohol, a writer so desperate to try and break into the Entertainment World...good stuff. Rent it if you kind of want to relate with what I'm going through right now but I don't get to have the happy ending like the writer gets in the movie...at least not yet...shit am I being narcissistic again? Shit...
I have to get healthy. All I care about is to stop drinking alcohol now more then anything else. When I went to AA there were people called minute to minute drinkers. Damn...that's not going out to Martell's to pick up chicks or go on weekend benders, these are people that see a liquor store and can't control themselves. Not me people...I'm so set on stopping my drinking that I will only surround myself with positive people at this time. Its sad to say but a lot of the younger girls that I talk to and meet up with, they want to go out all the time to the clubs and bars and I won't do that anymore. I can't put myself in that situation. I know what I'll do and then I will be right back in my old ways...speaking of which.
Now that my ex-girlfriend told me she is fucking other men over me...you know exactly what I want to do. I want to go on my tear, take it out on all these other girls and put stuff all over Youtube and my Blog of my thoughts, adventures, and conquests. But I wont. All girls are telling me that I'm not ready for a relationship and I need to just take a break and get healthy.
I'll tell you a little story...I hooked up with a girl and right after we were done in my house she picked up my books. She read the back of, That's all HE wrote, that read the name of my ex-girlfriend, Christiana Cortez.
She asked, "Is this Christiana Cortez character a real person?"
I said, "Um, yeah she was. She was the love stories that I wrote about in all of my books."
She asked, "You wrote four books based on your love for this one woman, Christiana Cortez?"
I said, "Yes. While we were separated for over 10yrs I wrote my trilogy based on that love and then my fourth book we were together and I wrote more about it."
She asked, "Why aren't you both together now?"
I said, "We just couldn't make it work out."
The girl that I just hooked up with started to cry and said, "That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard that someone would write so many books on the love that they had for another person and over so many years."
The girl stopped crying for a second as realization set in and she looked at me and asked, "But you guys still couldn't make your relationship work out?"
I said, "No."
Then she asked, "And me having a relationship with you, will it work out?"
I said, "No."
I never contacted the girl again. I've justified using all other girls from my ex-wife, affairs, and all the girls I've been with since my break up with my ex-girlfriend. I've told myself that if they aren't my ex-girlfriend I don't have to care about them because I'm always waiting on my ex-girlfriend to come back to me. She is the only girl I've never cheated on. But now she has gone back to her 21yrld ways of sleeping with other men over me and playing games, I can't let her keep walking all over me. She did it to me when she left me in our 20s, now she is doing it again in our 30s, I can't let this repeat itself to me a 3rd time. I have to get healthy and in a healthy relationship...

I'm going to see my psychologist today...boy do I have a lot to bring to the table today, eh? From Nov-now has been the craziest time of my life. Nothing is going how I plan and where its headed I have no idea. But I will tell you I'm scared of the weekend coming. The weekend coming and I know the parting and girls that are at the Jersey Shore and I am removing myself out of that scene 100%. I'm a single, healthy man (except for Cancer that may kill me, find out on Thursday), and when the weekend comes where is my fun? Where is my next relationship going to come from? This is a weird life...

Alcohol and SoberSingleWomen.com

2011-08-22T11:30:00.010-04:00

I love you Alcohol
When "True Love" is with other men, you numb the pain
When I see my constant failure as an author, you numb the pain
When I roll into the bars and cause a scene, you numb the pain
When I was training MMA and a spot on my back wants to kill me, you numb the pain
When I think of my son that I made and don't have, you numb the pain
How will I face this pain without numbing it?

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? AA meeting and the Cancer Ward at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital are the two most depressing things I have ever been a part of in my life. I don't want to face my pain, I want to escape it but there are people at AA that are worse off then me, like a lot of people. There was a blind guy, a guy missing a leg, some people with cancer too. When I look at the group I think to myself I don't need to be here and I start justifying in my head why I should go out to the bars and pick up chicks...

Yesterday I didn't want to pick up chicks after AA. I wanted to escape the pain that I seriously have to go to AA a lot and probably forever. The Cancer shit is in my head and the fact that I'm going through this all alone blows! Then their is "True Love" fuck me! No she wont but she will someone else...
She was coming back to me again. I was going to sleep with her Friday and spend the night with her. I was growing a beard and I shaved it for her. Then at the last minute she decided for us not to be together and then she dropped the bomb of all bombs that she has been sleeping with other men over me...This isn't how our story was suppose to end. I thought with Cancer she would come back to me and her of all people would be by myside. We were going to sleep together Friday and then we would be together again forever now, right? Ummm...no dude.

My head went crazy with the thought of her willingly deciding to share all that we have with other men. I know it sounds stupid. But if you were married and your wife had sex with another man, wouldn't you be a little upset if you really loved her? We weren't just dating, we were planning our lives together and now we are not. She keeps talking in her 21yrld riddles to me justifying why she slept with other men instead of me but I've heard all of this before from her when she kept doing this to me in our 20s and now here we go again in our 30s. We are coming up to our 1yr anniversary of breaking up. I guess in another 9yrs we will revisit trying to be together one last time? They talk about "Emotional Sobriety" in AA. I need to grow up. She was my "True Love" we shared that at times but we clearly aren't anymore because she chooses not to be with me. She is sleeping with other men. She is just an Ex-girlfriend and I need to face this reality and stop trying to escape the pain and hanging on to "True Love". They have a serenity prayer in AA and I'm not into any of that but when they do it, I need to keep reminding myself every single day that she choose to sleep with other men over me this entire year we've been apart. I slept with girls because my ex-girlfriend wouldn't come back to me and ended us. If I had a choice I would have been with her from December-to right now. But I don't have that choice do I?

Yesterday I went crazy. I don't drink alcohol because I crave a drink. I drink because I like the rush. I like the excitement of going and getting myself into trouble. Then I like the numbing of life. I decided yesterday if I'm going to stop drinking for the rest of my life then I'm ending it with a bang. I went a little crazy. I was taking a cab home and we didn't see eye to eye. I asked him to pull over so we could talk about our differences in life. He stopped the cab and then called the cops. Cops brought me to the hospital because I didn't do anything wrong. Just got into a little heated verbal debate with a cab driver. I called my ex-girlfriend because the hospital would let me go if I had someone to pick me up. She didn't pick me up and recommended that I get sent to psycho therapy. The female doctor and all the nurses laughed at me that I got dissed like that. Shit it blew spending a night in the hospital knowing I'm about to be in one Thursday for my fight with M&M. Having to listen to people all night screaming and stuff, it was a terrible night. But the only thing I could think about is that my ex-girlfriend has chosen to sleep with other men instead of me...

So what now? I'm serious about never drinking again. I know I can beat this easy as far as not drinking but I don't know what I'm suppose to do with myself on a Friday night? I'm a healthy, grown man, with a job. The weekend comes I want to have some fun...what do I do now? All the girls are at the bars and clubs. The 20yrld Taekwondo Instructor likes to go out and party. I tell her I can't? I have to stay inside and play a board game like Life? I am so confused with my life right now. I can't drink again. I have to beat it, you know how competitive I am. Going to AA I felt like such a LOSER!
I can't be a LOSER. I'm running the Tunnel to Towers Race in NYC. That is going to be my comeback. I can't believe my life...I don't have my son with me anymore, "True Love" is over, I don't have a book deal, I got Cancer.
At least I have my job...without that I would be dead.
I need to start a new website, SoberSingleWomen.com. That's what I need. What do I do with no Martell's Tiki bar? What do I do with myself when the weekend comes a knocking?

Picking up the Pieces...

2011-08-21T10:13:00.008-04:00

I can't believe my life...like I really can't believe it from November-now...
I thought "True Love" was coming back to me again. Seriously, if I get a book deal or have Cancer I knew she would come back. I didn't get the book deal but I did get Cancer, yes! So I started to make arrangements for her to come back. I ended all relationships, an Italian from Tuscany, my Eeeeranian connection, and others. I put out the red carpet, I got on my knees and...then she dropped the bomb on me yesterday that she has been having sex with other men instead of me. Wow, it didn't go over too well in my whole, "True Love" world. Its been documented how hard I've tried to get her back after my melt down in November (Why the fuck did my unemployment ever stop anyway? I still don't know why that happened?). I sent her and her parents flowers and she told me she was getting a restraining order on me. Then she was coming back to me and I got us a limo and she never showed. I've done everything I can in my power to get her back and at the time she wasn't sleeping with other men and now she is. So that is it. Everything that was special about her isn't anymore. I don't know why she means so much to me? I can't figure that out. I really thought that she was going to come back to me before she started sleeping with other men. I really thought we had something special. I can't believe that Baba Booey of all people in the entire world had it all spot on. I use to want to make it in the Literary World when I was married because it would have been nice. Then I wanted to make it when I was with my "True Love" to give it all to her. Now I have to make it, I have no choice, I'm all alone. Writing my books is all I've got. I have to make it now, I have to use my brain...come on brain do something...fuck nothing. I just can't believe this is how me and "True Love" turned out...I'm stunned. In March when I thought she left me for on-line dating I freaked out and went on a rampage and wrote about girls on my blog. I don't think Model Lost Dad is ever going to date another man again...I'm not doing that this time. I don't know what I'm doing but I wont do that again. I just feel so cold and distant...
I can't believe I'm going through all of this alone, this is so fucking weird.
Ending my marriage for "True Love" was the greatest mistake of my life. I just want that documented. When I was married I could have girls on the side, drink, and I had my son with me all the time.
Now look at me...going to my first AA class today.

Yes Man...No Thanks

2011-08-20T21:41:00.007-04:00

I don't know what to do anymore...
I really thought True Love would come back to me. I know I ended us back in November but it was because I had no money and I was going to commit suicide. It was never for another girl. True Love ended us when we were 21 and it was to be with other men and their cocks...she kept telling me that she was going to come back to me now but was never clear why she wasn't coming back to me until today...
Well now that is clear but everything else in my life is not.
She ended us at 21 yrsld to be with other men and have their cocks and she has done the same now. After I broke up with us in November because I had no money and arrest warrants, the second things changed I tried to get her back and now I know exactly why she does not come back to me...other men's dicks. Sucks but true. Why am I so upset about "True Love" fucking and swallowing other man's cum you ask? What's that you say? I've been with so many other women? Yes I have, but they are all meaningless, kind of filling my time until "True Love" comes back to me. But "True Love" only sleeps with men that she is emotionally connected to. And so there you go, she is not only physically swallowing her new man's hot cum but she is also emotionally connected to it as well. Good cum swallowing tonight baby!
So what do I do now? The 20yrld Taekwondo instructor?
I don't know what to do. My whole world is upside down. The girl taking me to the hospital is super cool. She is like the girl from the movie, Yes Man. She knows she is playing with fire with me and I might use her and blast her on the internet but she doesn't care...she sees something in me...
What? What do any girls see in me? If I keep up this pace I'm going to be all alone forever. Like Cancer, no joke, alone forever.
What am I doing?
What should I do?
Will I ever make it in the Literary World or am I just a joke?
Fuck Fuck Fuck...I don't know what I'm doing with anyone or anything anymore...

Into the Abyss I is

2011-08-20T11:47:00.009-04:00

Oh I'm not in a good way today...
I guess when cops, psychologists, and True Love all tell me its time to change it is.
I'm going to my first AA class in Brick. So weird this is my last weekend before my surgery and I look great physically. I'm in MMA shape, no one could tell that I have anything wrong with me...
I feel like I should be at Martell's Tiki Bar right now. Its the end of summer, this is my last weekend before my surgery...
What am I doing? I can justify so easily in my head why I should go to Martell's and pick up girls. I figured out in my new condition sitting by the girl's bathroom at the bar works like a charm (except when I get drunk and then my date arrives after I've picked up girls around me).
All religions are made up by man. It's his attempt to feel good about his own meaningless existence on earth. However, True Love is not made up...its real and it sucks if you've ever had it and lost it...I really got to experience it twice in my life and it was amazing. The thought of other men being with her now...fucking kills me. I don't know why? No other girls do I care about any guys that they have been with or might be with, only her. She has been with other men. It is totally 100% over now. No going back to the 35yrld single mommy. Well, I guess this is something to add for my psychologist meeting on Tuesday.

This sucks people going through all of this alone. Feel like I'm walking a plank. I blew it with True Love and there is no one to blame but myself...
Time for me to change...
But Why? For Who? For What?
Wow this story is not going at all how I want it to...no matter what there will be no happy ending with True Love. There are dudes pounding away at her and cumming in her as I type...puke!

Is there such a thing as a Comeback if you never made it in the 1st Place?

2011-08-19T15:32:00.006-04:00

How do I go from the World’s Biggest Failure to a Success?

True Love said, “How’d that work out for you?”
She is right it hasn’t. I read about Michelle Toth in, Poets & Writers Magazine, she is a self published author who has spent thousands of dollars on copy editors, proof readers, etc., to try to compete with the Literary World Goliath. I don’t have those kind of resources. I came up with my Naked Author gimmick to try to get the World’s attention for my books. My books are basically like first drafts, I spent $500 to have each book edited but that is the extent of my budget. So now what for the Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner? What do I do? Keep walking around NYC/NJ doing stunts and events with my books in my hand like a mix between the Naked Cowboy and Jackass?
How long do I keep this up for until I’m a fat old man holding onto my dreams like the movie, The Rocker- The Naked Drummer?

I have Cancer and I’m having surgery on 8/25/11. They will cut out the Milignant Melanoma out of my back and cut out my lymph node. If Cancer made it to my lymph node I’m fucked. So the race is on. The fight to the finish line…

Benton Stephens my motion graphics editor is finishing up my audition clips. If I do die it will be funny watching my audition clips on Youtube after I’m gone. I gave it my all people!
But I plan on beating M&M in this fight to the finish line and then I get my comeback I guess? Is there such a thing? I’m coming back for the Tunnel to Towers Race in NYC.
But then what? I’ve pushed all of these girls to the side for now and I’ve been expecting True Love to show up now that I have the Cancer. I really thought she would. I mean if you are going to be in someone’s life probably now would be the right time not after they are dead. If I die I don’t want her coming to my funeral. Like seriously what’s the point? I don’t go to funerals myself. The second I die my energy is off to the cosmos, you can look for me in the stars because that is where I’ll be. But no, True Love is no where to be found and these girls I’ve pushed off to the side, well, they aren’t True Love but they are cool and tragedy does bring bonding.
Let’s take the 20 yr ld Taekwondo instructor…I probably shouldn’t be putting her picture up on the internet and I told myself I’d stop writing about girls that I’m with but one last time before my big ending, eh? She’s all into me and thinks I’ve got something going here. But she is 20yrs ld, she has hope and enthusiasm and you all know how I feel about that. True Love is 35 and she has been with me for a number of years and has seen my near successes and my failures and my Naked Author show got old. So let’s say I move forward with the 20yrld and then after 5yrs, still nothing happens, then what? She bounces and I’m old dude holding on to dreams from long ago like the movie, The Rocker…shit.

If I could write this story…True Love comes back to me now. I beat Cancer. I go on Howard Stern Show and other media and tell my little story of being an angry bitter drunk at the Literary World and land the colossal book deal for Kabillions. I get the nice house in the Atlantic Highlands, NJ. I am clean and sober with my True Love for the rest of my life and write endless historical fiction novels that entertain you reading this blog and everyone else that you know…
Alas, this author can not write his own story and I have no idea how this is going to turn out…this is my last weekend before I go under the knife…I wonder who I will spend it with?

It's a Wonderful Life or Death

2011-08-17T05:58:00.038-04:00

Trips me out when I think about it, that if I hadn't landed my job when I did with Gannett, I would be D E A D, gone. If you've followed my story from last November-Now, its been a wild one. I thought writing my book, That's all HE wrote and marrying it with Youtube.com was pretty original but now I may have documented my very own death...
When I was calling out Jason Ellis in my Youtube.com clip I had the Cancer on my back but I had no idea the severity and no health insurance for treatment. Now at least on 8/25/11 I have a chance. Just so weird and so heavy when I stop and think about all of this...
Yesterday was one of those magic days with Donovan and NYC. It was a day I wanted to just take it all in and make my peace. I have seen so many different sides of NYC and it has seen so many different sides of me. I nearly landed the biggest ad sales job of my life at CNN.com with Time Warner and then with Bloomberg (I can only imagine what would have happened to me with my whole Resume Debacle!). I use to party at the Limelight, Tunnel, and Spy Club when I was a teenager. I've gone on many dates in NYC, some outrages to cause a scene and some serious with True Love. I've walked Times Square as a tourist with my son and as a street entertainer charging $2 a picture. I've ran many races through out Central Park and across Manhattan and climbed to the top of the Empire State Building like King Kong as the Naked Author. I've pounded on the doors of Random House to let me in. I've laughed, cried, been spit on, kissed and fought on the streets of NYC. I've done so much in NYC...I guess yesterday, taking it all in just felt pretty good.
To be able to show Donovan all of it and especially Random House as he is fully aware of his daddy's aspirations (to become the next Hemingway, Greatest Author of my Generation, etc. Donovan has heard them all trust me), was just a magical day for me. I explained a little to him that the next time he sees his daddy I'm going to have stitches and will be recovering.
He asked, "Why?"
I said, "It is to make daddy better because he got sick right now. Daddy will have a cool pirate scar."
He said, "Pirates kill you daddy, you are going to die."
I told him, "Yes Pirates might try to kill Daddy but the doctors are not, they have to cut daddy open to make daddy all better because if they don't..."
Donovan asked, "Then you are going to die?"
I looked at him and said, "The doctors are going to make your daddy all better and I am going to be happy to have my pirate scar."

If I beat this people and I get a second chance at life it's going to be a new me. True Love said it best, "How'd that work out for you?" She was right, how I have been going about trying to accomplish my dreams has not worked out for me. At this point I don't think any of my literary dreams will ever come true. But I am an author and all I want to do is give you a good story and I've got one here...funny I thought I would keep giving you good historical fiction stories about my main character that drinks a lot, sleeps with women, is tormented by true love, and rises up for a fight. I didn't know that I the author would also be giving you every detail of my very own story as well through books, Youtube.com, Twitter, and my Blog...

If I die now, I become a Greek Tragedy, the underdog, the hero, the simple man that tried to defy the odds, challenge the gods, and before all the riches and rewards were attained tragedy befell.

If I live, then I get my second chance at life, like the movie, It's a Wonderful Life. I go to AA, I never drink again, I stop chasing women. I go through life with all of my energy and strength from good nights rest and give everyone all of my un diluted attention, love, and support.
I can easily justify after beating Cancer and going back to my ways of Wine and Women. But I'm 35 now, let's say for the good past 10 yrs that is what I have been doing. If I'm lucky enough to have another 10 yrs ahead of me, lets see how this clean and sober lifestyle works out for me. Because in 10 yrs I will be 45 and if I don't like how the clean and sober life works out for me then I can always go back to Wine and Women and at 45 there will be no hiding exactly what I truly am...its not just Cancer in my blood...maybe I something even more dangerous? Pirate Blood...

I'm getting a straw pipe and I want to grow a beard, not a Hemingway beard, a trimmed, dark haired Spaniard Beard. I want to get silver reflective sunglasses and perhaps part my hair while I still have it...hmm a new look for the new me...I like it.

Tickle the Devil's Ass with a Feather

2011-08-14T07:05:00.011-04:00

I feel the hand of the clock ticking away as the date grows closer for me to go under the knife. This is going to change me no matter what, my body, my lifestyle, it will have an impact on me for the rest of my life, however long or short it may be.
When I go under the knife on 8/25, some people talk about seeing a light and so forth, I will be looking for the darkness.
In my journey I will seek out the Prince of Darkness, Lucifer.
I will ask him, "If you are to take my life, then I demand my soul back."
Lucifer will say, "You wanted the fame and all the glory from the angels of your world my dear boy."
I will say, "My life was not part of the agreement, Lucifer. We never discussed that."
Lucifer will say, "Oh but it was my dear boy, oh but it was. You sold me your soul in exchange for you to Conquer the Literary World with your self published books and your talent as a writer."
I will say, "Yes I know."
Lucifer will continue, "You never asked me how I will accomplish such a task using my powers of darkness. Your soul will be mine for eternity dear boy."
I will ask, "But what of my body? What use will fame and fortune be for me with out flesh and blood to feel the sensation of success?"
Lucifer will say, "You will feel a sensation my dear boy. It will be the fallen tears of the angels of your world as they seep through the soil and land upon your head as you spend eternity with me in this world of darkness."
I will say, "Ohhh fuck me!"

At what point do you give up on your dreams? At what point do you come to the reality of your situation and concede the fight? I've found that most girls in their 20s and younger look at me like I have something going here. That I might actually make it. I might actually get the book deal and Conquer the Literary World. True Love is 35, she said to me, "How'd that work out for you." When I stopped and looked around, I realized it didn't. I read in Poets&Writers Magazine about a self published author Moth and she spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on copy editors, proof readers, etc, to try and make her book the same quality as those that come from the big Publishers. I've spent about $1,000 on each one of my books to publish, $500 for editing and $500 to publish them. My last book, That's all HE wrote, I didn't have the money for an editor and I spent the last of my remaining money to publish it on Amazon and Kindle. I've made a total of around $300 from book sales and almost all of it came from my very first book because I was getting a lot more publicity and doing book signings in Barnes and Noble, etc. I was making more money charging people $2 a picture with me dressed as the Naked Author in Times Square then selling any of my books...
I came across a basket weaver on the beach yesterday with Donovan. He said that he use to write poetry and I told him I'm an author. He said that he could never write a book because it was too hard for him but weaving baskets is easier and people buy them from him unlike his poetry that he couldn't make any money at. Writing books comes easier for me but I can't make any money doing it either no matter how much I sacrifice. Maybe I need to sit down next to this guy and start to learn to weave baskets...
I'm going to write for the rest of my life. I'm going to submit my audition tapes for the reality shows, send in my written work for literary contests, and train MMA for more fights after my surgery. I will run the Tunnel to Towers race in NYC. But my dreams of Conquering the Literary World are coming to an end.
Maybe when they cut the Cancer out of my back they can remove my heart as well?
I'm never going to be the same after 8/25/11...

Tiger Woods VS Naked Author. Who is better? Who is worse?

2011-08-13T08:10:00.014-04:00

All of this talk of Tiger Woods about his social life with women and then last night on Twitter and the topic came up, #shestooyoungforyoubro has got me thinking...
I've tried everything I can to get my True Love back. She is 35, with a kid from a previous marriage, and an ex husband that is in her daily life in every way.
I have very real Cancer now with very real Life and Death hanging in the balance.
I've put myself all over the internet and no matter what level of success I may or may not achieve, girls respond to me.
I've pushed all girls to the side right now and told all girls that we are to only be friends for the time being. But the girl that is taking me to the hospital on the date of my operation is cool, like super cool, but I feel like a mouse with a cat ready to pounce on me.
What do I do? What am I doing? I can see where one night stands can lead to trouble, danger, and are pretty much meaningless. I can see that now from my psychologist. But maybe I like Wine and Women? Maybe that is just me? But I am getting older and how long can I keep up this pace?
I'm 35 and now a 20yrld beauty is all over me, a Taekwondo instructor. I'm not good at math but I know I'm a lot older then her. What do I do? And there are others. The girl taking me to the hospital loves teasing me about my age and now I've kind of come to enjoy it. I like being older, I like the control, I like the power...
With True Love she is my equal and there are so many issues between us...
What do I do? What am I doing?
I heard something interesting on the radio about Tiger Woods from Steven A. Smith. To paraphrase:"Maybe Tiger Woods needs to be with women, that is what makes him great. When he has Women to chase he wins. When he is trying to change into the family man he doesn't win. His dad died, his wife is gone, his caddy is gone, he has no stability and he is all alone. No matter his talent, he needs very real people in his life that he no longer has. He needs stability that he doesn't have. When he is chasing women he wins."
I don't have a biological mother or father. I have no stability in my life. I don't have True Love in my life, she is no where to be found. I have so many girls that are around me that I've pushed to the side and I'm trying so hard not to go back to my old ways.
After my surgery I want my 'Comeback'. I want to build my body back up for more MMA Fights in the cage, I want to Conquer the Literary World with my books. I love seeing Kelly Slater, Tony Hawk, Baba Booey, and Snooki with book deals. I'm letting that anger go but I'll be damned if I'm wiped off this planet without getting my book deal...
I need a hell of a woman by my side...

Reality Shows, Poetry&Book Contests, Cancer, and Comeback?

2011-08-12T06:52:00.009-04:00

Aldimer Oliveira and Pro Fighter Anthony leave for Brazil today and I leave to go under the knife shortly. I get my reverse boob job and then a fight to the finish with M&M to the lymph node. No point in stressing about it, it is what it is no matter what I do, think, or 'pray' about it.
I'll use my neighbors lawn mower to cut my grass for now so I don't go to prison for not mowing my lawn again.
Met my lawyer yesterday, she told me my ex-wife is registering our divorce in her state of Maryland because she is going to try to take my son away from me in her state now since it didn't work in NJ as I'm doing above and beyond cooperation with everyone in DYFS after I set my house on fire alone over Memorial Day Weekend.
Got ahold of Benton Stephens my motion graphics editor and he is working on my reality show audition tapes and will be sending them to me shortly.
I was reading all about fellow writers in, Poets&Writers Magazine, I love reading about fellow self published authors. We are a unique bunch eh? I may be leading the way as the champion of the most extreme self published author on planet earth. I got to the back of the magazine and suddenly I found all of these contest to submit poetry and first time novels, even self published ones, to win contest, real money, and legitimate publication. The magazine said to follow colleagues in the field on Twitter and other social media. I did see a really cute girl, Thob, who is a self published author in NYC. Maybe I'll follow her and shoot her a facebook friend request eh? Maybe instead of dating random girls I'll focus on tearing up all hot girl authors? Then we can all write about each other? I wouldn't mind making it into some girls book under a different name...just kidding. I'm calming the f$#!k down.
I'll list all of the places that I'm submitting my literary work on my jasonmitchiner blog and keep you posted on the results.
So this is good right? I am competitive and I've competed in MMA events, surfing, racing, and other events, makes sense that I start competing with my written word. After all I can win real money in contests some for $500, $1,000, and some for $30,000+ just from stringing some words together...amazing.

So this is my game plan. Keep writing and submitting my literary work of my poetry and books and build up my literary resume that way. Submit my reality show audition tapes. Watch a lot of Jiu Jitsu while I'm recovering from surgery. Then slowly build up for my comeback as a more serious author, MMA Fighter, and a better person. Good? I like it. I like where everything is going, I feel good about this. Everything seems to be swinging on the up and up...except for one little thing, one little Y variable. The fight to the finish with M&M to the lymph node. Imagine Survivor tries to call me back, I win a $30,000 literary contest, True Love comes knocking..."Hello Jason? Jason? Ja...oh my god..."

Oedipus the Cancer

2011-08-11T07:06:00.007-04:00

Starting to stress out...
Lawn mower doesn't work and I have to mow the lawn before my surgery or I will be issued citations and then arrest warrants will be issued and I don't need to deal with that again. I have to pay my monthly fees for my arrest warrant that I received in November which is $50 a month.
I keep getting dockets in the mail from my ex wife that I have to drop off to my lawyer today for her to look at. Dockets in the mail are never good and anything I need from my lawyer cost money. I think I want a voodoo doll of my ex wife that I will set on fire.
Bills are mounting up again just some unexpected bills, like a $200 water bill, like seriously I don't even water my lawn. I have the brownest lawn in the neighborhood and its still $200 a month for water?
Work is stressing me out, we are moving to a whole new platform to compete with Groupon and LivingSocial and I'm part of a new team to go head to head with it but now I will be out for the beginning launch while I'm recovering from surgery and job security stresses me out.
I haven't heard back from my motion graphics editor and I don't know where my audition tapes stand. I want to get them all out by the following weekend so I don't have to think about them once I go in for surgery.
I have no idea how I'm going to get a literary agent and break into the legitimate Publishing World.
I have to go to my stupid NA class on Tuesday while I have my son and have to find a baby sitter because I already missed this weeks class. I don't really have any baby sitters and it will take away time with my son to attend the stupid class. I could be using the time to take him to kids BJJ class and other cool father son bonding activities.
I don't know who is taking me to the hospital?

Then you want to know the weirdest thing that my mind keeps falling on? My biological father had malignant melanoma. I remember vaguely being brought to see him in the hospital and he was told he wasn't going to make it. I think I was being brought to see him one last time, I was around 6 years old, same age as my son Donovan now. But he beat it. They took out a huge crater in his back, it looked like an asteroid hit his back and they had to take skin from other parts of his body to graph it on his back. I remember they had to take a lymph node out of his arm pit as well...Just so weird I get the same cancer in nearly the same spot at nearly the same age. I better beat it too. You know I have to surpass my biological father in everything that I do. Its weird how I have no relationship with him but I have such a strong desire in surpassing him in ways that he did but at an even greater level. My biological father is the one that did the research on our family background and found all of the Mitchiner men. He is the one that shared with me the existence of Tom, Raymond, and Jim that I wrote my first book about. He is the one that shared with me Tarleton that fought in the Revolutionary War that I wrote my second book about.
I find it strange I wrote my trilogy kind of hoping to finally get that 'I'm proud of you son' moment from my father that never came. But in another way to showcase my talent. I knew some of his religious stuff from being a chaplain in the Army had been published and I wanted him to see my talent and passion in the craft of writing as well.
Just weird thoughts...I plan on surpassing my biological father in all of my achievements but if M&M beats me to my lymph node that f%$#er beat something I could not...this isn't how the story of Oedipus goes...

Put Humpty Dumpty back together again before Armageddon

2011-08-10T06:46:00.014-04:00

I went to the Neuropsychologyist yesterday. Damn she is a heffty co-pay, $50! Between paying for cancer treatment, psychology treatment, lawyer bills, paying my ex wife...I need my genie in a bottle.
Anyway, back to the Neuropschologyist. She wants to me go to AA ontop of my once a week Narcotic Anonymous (Which I found out is really Behavioral Health Group not NA but I like calling it NA because I'm the NA).
My True Love that I keep talking about and slamming a lot on my blog I found out that I've justified ending our relationship in Nov because the bottom fell out from under me but alas, I am the one that ended our relationship. I am to blame for our relationship coming to an end. Then I told the psychologyist that she keeps nearly coming back to me but then at the last moment stops herself and the psychologyist asked me, "Do you think she wants a drunk around her and her child?"
I said, "No."
And there you go. My story is a bit of the movie, Crazy Horse with Jeff Bridges. That's it. I'm done drinking. I'll go to AA ontop of my once a week class, but I'm done. Drinking hasn't done anything good for me. I've done so much in life hung over. Time to come out of the fog. I abuse alcohol to escape life and then I get involved with different women. Part of me wants to justify my actions by saying all men want to party and be with different women. Its in our 'Viking' blood as men or something like that. But the psychologyist tells me that it is a fear of commitment that I have (again part of me thinks, don't all men have this fear?) that stems from my childhood. The psychologist went on about my failures to keep all of my relationships and my need to constantly be with other women to fill an endless void and said I might be a sex addict (again, aren't all men?). She did warn me with these short term relationships and one night stands that the dangers of STDs are out there even with protection (my first therapist warned me of this as well as I thought with condoms I'm safe, not the case). She told me that if I continue the path I'm on its inevitable that I will come into contact with some type of STDs as I'm playing with 'house money'. I told her that with True Love I never cheated on her and had no desire for others and I didn't mention yet to the psychologist that I was going to 'Punch my own ticket' in Nov. Next session is on 8/23 and then we get to get into my childhood abuse. She did mention something entertaining to me, as I brought up my struggles at becoming a big time, legitimate author, the next Mary Higgins Clark. The psychologist told me about her friend who is a PhD, MD, blah blah blah, who wrote a non-fiction book and it took her years to find a publisher for it. It made me smile to hear of other people's suffering in the publishing world and not just my own...
The psychologist told me if I do become the next big Mary Higgins Clark that I can not present myself to the World this way and I need to clean up my act. Reminded me of Stephen King in his book, On Writing, paraphrasing him as he stated that you can not show up on national TV wasted and he spoke about his own battle with alcoholism.

Then on 8/25 is my 'Date with the Devil'. I'm looking at it this way now I know a little bit more about the operation that will be done. They are going to cut around my lesion and dig deep into my back at the root of M&M (Milignant Melanoma Cancer for all). Then they will pull my skin tight together on my back and stitch me up. So I'm kind of getting a reverse boob job. If women all over the world can do it, I too can get through this. I'll have the total opposite, instead of something large protruding from my chest, or err...back. I'll have a crater removed and skin pulled tightly together to close it. No stretching for me or punching of any kind! The only thing I have that a boob job doesn't, besides a boob, is the lovely M&M traveling to my lymph node. So its a fight. If M&M made it to my lymph node, M&M won the fight and Naked Author is F%$#K. If my lymph node is clear from M&M then Naked Author won the fight. Its the only fight I care about winning at the moment. Depending on this outcome will be whether I'm lucky enough to ever start training one day to get back into the cage...

Ok fine. Time to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Put my head back together and my body. Kick booze to the curb and using women like a deck of cards. Fine. Make myself clean and sober and ready to become the next Mary Higgins Clark with all of my books now and to come in the near future. That is...unless this is Armageddon? Did you see the stock market yesterday? What is happening to our economy? I lost my big, six figure job at the end of '09, I can't imagine going through something worse then what we've all been going through in this economy...
If things turn South and everyone starts going crazy like what's happening in London...well I'll do just fine...bring on the wine and women...hmmm...maybe Armageddon would be more fun?

Naked Author VS M&M 8/25/11

2011-08-09T01:54:00.008-04:00

I went to MMA last night and I watched Donovan train in kids class and I tried to pick up my spirits a bit. Now I know why Dr. Lee kept telling me to keep my spirits up. Battling CanCan is a huge roller coaster ride. I started to try to think of my surgery like an MMA event and calling Malignant Melanoma, 'M&M' to make it sound catchy and like an opponent I might face in the cage. Hemingway coined alcoholism and blowing his brains out. I follow in no man's footsteps. I like the idea of a beautiful woman so obsessed with me physically and mentally that she does me in, in a fit of jealous, passionate rage, True Love. But alas, my story I can not write my script. The thought of me dying by something so small, Cancer, and on my back that I can not see nor reach drives me crazy. But this is the hand that I've been dealt. I want to defeat alcoholism and M&M (Malignant Melanoma Cancer just to be clear). That is the path that I am on.

I've changed a lot during my journey to make it as the Naked Author and not necessarily in a good way. I wanted to make it so bad and I've done everything in my power on my own with my Naked Author gimmick to do so. But when Snooki got her book deal I became blinded by anger. I've been angry for so long from my childhood and now from my lack of success as an author. I have to learn to let it all go. This is as difficult as defeating alcoholism and M&M. I love how all of this SH$T just comes at once, damn.

I wanted to make it before as a legitimate author, but now with all that is happening to me, I want it more then anything I've ever wanted in my life. But I can not achieve it the way I've been going about it. I need to use more of what I have upstairs on my body then what I have down stairs. Its so easy for me to use what I have downstairs and not have to do a lot of thinking and just a lot of 'doing'. Its time to put my head on straight and focus more on the Publishing World then my whole Naked Author act. Having girls come up to me on the streets as the NA, having girls contact me constantly, having girls girls girls...I can get caught up in all that. I tried to do a 40/40 and abstain from women and wine but I only lasted 14/14. I did get perspective on religion but not my abuse of alcoholism and women.

When I was at MMA last night I was starting to feel good that I will fight and defeat M&M on 8/25/11. I don't look up M&M online because I don't want to freak myself out on what I might read. But there is a BJJ black belt at my gym that went through this type of surgery back when he was in his 20's. As soon as he saw the black spot on my back he told me to get it checked out that M&M is no joke. I told him I was waiting for my health benefits to kick in from my new job with Gannett. He is fully aware of what I'm going through right now. He told me he had the surgery done and it is far more extensive then I am making it out to be. He told me that they don't just cut around the lesion but they, "go deep." I thought I would be out of MMA for 2wks. Dr. Lee told me 4wks before I can even consider running. The BJJ black belt said that it will be 4 months before I will be able to do any type of MMA and that sweating in an MMA gym could be just as lethal in it's own right (we all know I've had my share of Staph infections). Then I asked him if he had his lymph nodes removed too and he looked at me really concerned when he told me, "No." I can get so depressed about this when I stop and think about it. I've worked so hard to get where I am in MMA, my speed, my body, I don't want to lose it all now. I'm going to work so hard on eating only sushi, nuts, and organic boiled eggs, along with vitamins to try and keep myself lean and strong. And I guess I'm going to have to take up power walking?

September 25th is the Tunnel to Towers run. If I can make that race, I feel that is something I can be proud of. Its a race I want to be a part of and show my support for a true hero. I also have a new look that I am working on for my events when I fight in the cage and do some races. It is inspired by hunting, spearfishing, and my homage to the US Army. I'm not the Naked Author for how I am dressed. I am the Naked Author because I have no literary agent, divine editor, nor big publisher for my books. But when I do an event I still want to stand out a bit and do it barefoot no matter the temperature outside...because hey that's just me Naked Author - Jason William Mitchiner

Wake Up call came but I'm already Dead

2011-08-08T06:48:00.007-04:00

I Tweeted this after my first day of treatment at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital.

"Welcome to your first day of Cancer boys and girls. Here is your pamphlet. Good to see so many new faces. Your support group is on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Feel free to use our chemo, radiation, and surgery facilities. Graduation you ask? Why you never graduate from Cancer. You are enrolled for life. Well...there is a type of 'graduation' its called the last day of your life. Sadly many of you will be 'graduating'."

True Love said to me with her glib question, "How'd that work out for you?" It was my Wake Up call. I created the Naked Author because I didn't want my books to be ignored as a Self Published Author. I got lost somewhere a long the journey of pushing the Naked Author image and act stronger then my focus of the core of everything which is my books. I've written four books, a trilogy and a book that has captured my madness in trying to make it on my own. I have more books to write, I've published the beginnings of both of them on my jasonmitchiner blog. But there is no point in writing books without a divine editor and big publisher to market and distribute my books.
I've done everything I can think of to make a name for myself on my own and bring attention to my books. You can read it all in, That's all HE wrote and you can watch it all on Youtube. All I care about from this point on is figuring out how to become a legitimate author with no gimmick. I'm proud of most of what I have done as Naked Author but if that is the only way that I will be remembered and not for my books then it was all for nothing...