"Well that escalated quickly!"

I'm on stimulation over load...
I may have just landed a dope job 5 minutes away that I can ride a bike to work every day and dress LA cool as an account executive...
I have serious LAPD testing coming up, physical, psychological, you name it, I'm going through it...
Will I make it through it all?  I don't know but the stories I know about the things I see and hear...stimulation over load...
Ray Fusco pointed me in the right direction to raise money for Cancer Research when I kayak to Catalina Island and I'm working on my project through crowdrise.com/NakedAuthorKayak.
I have to do Youtube Clips promoting it and a lot of work...
I'm trying to train to kayak the distance to Catalina Island and it's sooooo hard on my stupid 10ft Kayak.  People watch me kayak way out into the ocean around from Marina del Rey and people tell me that my kayak I do more zig zag motion when I paddle rather then straight ahead...thus waisting so much of my energy.  Everyone wants me to use an open water canoe but I refuse.  It's got to be my stupid little camo kayak...the underdog.
The most I've done in one clip is 13 miles and that kills me...I need to be able to double that comfortably...it's all different muscles then running, or MMA training, or anything else.

I'm just on stimulation over load.  I've met IDF commandos and I told them I wanted to try to join them and they looked at me with the "Million Mile Stare" and told me, "Stay as far away from war as possible."  They were older then me and just looked like regular older dudes but when they told me about war, man you could see it in their eyes and face, you can see death in their eyes...
I look like a man of action, I look like a guy ready to jump on a kayak and paddle across the ocean, jump out of planes, do a million push ups, run 10 miles, jump in the cage, but I do not have death in my eyes, I've never seen what they have.  They told me that I'm young, good looking, strong, and the only thing I should ever hunt is "Ze Pussy."  I've hunted that my whole life...I want more. 

I'm just on stimulation overload...I saw my biological father once for a weekend when I was 26 and he told me, "Jason you know nothing and that's all you ever need to know...nothing."  He told me that after I asked him to tell me some Special Ops stories that the general public doesn't know about.
Well now I'm learning about stuff that well...it's overwhelming all that I'm learning about that goes on all around us everywhere.

When I'm out kayaking things escalated rapidly from a peaceful sunny day out in the ocean to suddenly the water begins to ripple all around you as schools of large fish move rapidly underneath you and feel all the bumps and thuds as they hit you and then something much larger moves you and your kayak.  That seems how nature works, in war you can be on a patrol for hours and suddenly 15minutes of hell on earth erupts, LAPD you can do a routine stop and suddenly you have bullets flying in your direction, you can be out kayaking for hours and suddenly a whale comes right by you with it's huge tail landing very close to where you just were...

I'm trying to figure out now how to get the homeless to go to a programs to work, I first contacted STAPLES Center directly...
"Hello Jason,
Thank you for contacting STAPLES Center! Unfortunately, our department does not handle any type of donation, autograph, or meet and greet requests. Please contact the individual teams that play at STAPLES Center with your request.
You may also contact the STAPLES Center Foundation with donation requests at the address below:"
STAPLES Center Foundation
888 Olympic Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90015
213.763.7700
But now I've gotten ahold of a program called, Step On Second, in Santa Monica.  I'm trying everything I can to drag homeless people there with me and have them become members.  It's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever found out about.  Kobe Bryant is a HUGE supporter.  I love Kobe Bryant not in a gay way but seriously love him.  Didn't everyone hate him at one point for something he did?  Now everyone loves him...anyway.  What I'm discovering is a lot of the homeless are on drugs and don't want to get off them.  LA Love tells me that I'm going to get shanked by the homeless and at times she is right.  Things can escalate rather quickly...
There are the homeless that are down and out that I'm so interested in helping and bringing them to Step On Second, there is a guy named David Knickles that I took out to eat and put him on Youtube.  He was on drugs but at times, it was like he came back to earth and was with me.  My dream is to get him to, Step On Second, and others like him, off drugs and working, and then...I want to take him and as many as I can to a Lakers Game.  I like contact sports, but all the homeless people love the Lakers and are teaching me about basketball.
But there are some homeless that I call Zombies, these are the homeless that will shank you, they are so deeply hooked on drugs, they are gone.  I approached a van where I just saw one homeless guy and suddenly I was surrounded by a woman and a man and all three of them lived in the burnt beat up van together.  The homeless lady was actually hot and if she wasn't a homeless Zombie and a normal part of society she would be super hot and no doubt making me work my ass off taking her out to try and get into her pants...but instead she is a homeless Zombie hooked on drugs and doing whatever with these two other men.  Anyway, this situation escalated quickly and all these individuals care about is their next fix and will do whatever it takes to get it.  They are gone, they are the living dead, they are the homeless Zombies.  I can't help them, I need to be more cautious and selective.

But here in lies the rub, the homeless receive $914 a month by the state because they are classified with mental disability.  With all drugs there are kingpins, individuals that make money off people's dependency on drugs that they can supply.  There are individuals that want the homeless all to become Zombies, forever dead to the world and they will forever take their $914 a month and any other money the Zombies can get by robbing, killing, sexual acts, to pay them. 

I can go undercover as a homeless person to find out who these individuals are...supplying crack, inhalers, etc. to the homeless but at extreme risk to my own life.  I'm not a reporter for the LA times or an LAPD detective.  I'm not going there...not yet...but it's glaring at me in my face.  Nobody really cares about the homeless, cracking $914 a month drug buys isn't big on any one's list...but when it leads to the Zombies to murder over their need for their fix..."Well that escalated quickly."  It can happen, it does happen, and it will happen again...

Every time a homeless person refuses to go to, Step On Second, with me because they want to stay on drugs and live that life style, I get so angry I want to throw a "Rear Naked Choke" on them and drag them to, Step On Second, but I won't...I just haven't figured out how to get the homeless off First to Second...fucking drug dealers...

Haha...remember I use to just want a book deal so bad?  All I care about now is adventure and writing about it until the day I die.  LAPD is FULL of endless adventure. 

I'm on stimulation overload...the things I could write about...the things going on all around me...a library is coming your way...I don't give a fuck who reads them or not...unless I die...then you are stuck with shit I got...sorry.

Altered State...

 

I was with LA Love and told her I have a grandma near by me in LA.  I told LA Love I'll get around to seeing my grandma after I land a good job and have a hot girlfriend I'm proud of next to me.

LA Love asked, "Yeah how long will that take you to do Jason?"

There are a few times I've looked at LA Love and she looks at me like she is about to kill me.  This would be one of those times.  Italian's are no joke about their family.  I'm a Mitchiner...we go like a good 20yrs without talking to or seeing one another...

LA Love said, "You are going to see your grandma this weekend."

I don't argue with hot pretty successful girls I just do what I'm told. 

So I went to see my grandma that I hadn't seen in over 20yrs.  My grandma Mitchiner saved me from going to Foster Care in LA when I was 15yrs old and made her son (my biological father) take me in and live with him in NJ where I lasted a year before eventually ending up in Foster Care anyway. 

My grandma also got me scuba diving instructions when I was 14yrs old and I still use those skills to this day.  I also vaguely remember hearing that she worked for the F.B.I. and asked her all about that.  She worked for the F.B.I. in Washington D.C. and then transferred to Los Angeles through the F.B.I. 

How dope is that!

 

I found out my grandma worked for the F.B.I.  My biological father is a retired officer and Green Beret in the US Army and I found out my biological mother has a practice as a psychotherapist.... 

I've got to make LAPD...I've got to blow these cats out of the water...

 

When I was visiting my grandma guess who showed up?  My biological father's younger brother (my uncle) and his wife (of many years).  My uncle is the cool guy of our family, he looks and sounds like Jeff Bridges.  He surfed all over SoCal back when he was growing up in Downey CA with my biological father and his sister.  Anyway, we hadn't seen each other in 30yrs and we caught up a bit.  Turns out everyone kind of keeps tabs on everyone else in the family.  They all knew I got the same type of cancer in the same spot at the same age as my biological father.  And they know now that I'm in the process for the LAPD...and that info is going straight to my biological father. 

 

You ever wanted something so bad you can hardly stand it?  Guess who can do perfect, "Left Face!" "Right Face!"  "About Face!"?  That's right...me.  Guess who shouts at the top of his longes, "SIR YES SIR!" and 'MAM YES MAM!"?  That's right...me. 

Gone is the first day of Private Pile...LAPD will change you.   All the clips of me working out MMA in the middle of Times Square and the NYPL hitting the streets...guess what you do training LAPD?  Same thing.  We will run 3miles (always at a 7minute mile pace) and then hit the dirt wherever we are at and bang out over 100 push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, leg lifts, all right there on the concrete as people and cars go by and then run another 3 and repeat.  I fucking love it.  If I didn't do MMA I don't know if I could do all of this...

The LAPD Officer yells out, "People think you are already LAPD Officers going by show some pride!"  Fuck yeah I do...

 

When we run you call out every street that you are on and passing.  The number one thing that will let you live or die is always knowing where you are at and your surroundings.  I never thought of that.  I just thought you chase the bad guy down as fast as you could, I never thought that if you do that and don't pay attention that suddenly you can be all alone in an exteremely dangerous zone that can end your life.  When I'm done training with the LAPD in downtown LA, they make us put our sweat shirts inside out and I thought it's because the officers don't want to see my name anymore but it's for my own protection.  The public sees those sweatshirts and they know you are part of LAPD and there are many people that will kill you.  Gang members would love to kill a cop.  It's no joke out here.  Every time I train with the LAPD they keep pounding into your head about being there for your partner and doing everything right so you both come home alive.  If you slip up someone dies...

 

There is a good movie, End Of Watch, with Jake Gyllenhaal based on a lot of true stories from LAPD.  So much more I could write...fill up many a books.

 

I was at the US Navy and I'm trying to re apply for the Reserves now that some more time has passed since my serious cancer surgery on 8/25/11.  I'll find out Tuesday if I'm cleared for MEPS. 

While I was trying to re enlist in the Navy an F.B.I. agent came in to meet with a candidate.  The F.B.I. uses recruiting stations to conduct interviews through out the country.  This F.B.I. cat looked like something out of Hollywood, his hair was gel ed out about 2ft from his head, he had on the gray F.B.I. suit, he looked bad ass.  You ever have that moment when you realize this is what you were suppose to do?  I'm trying to do Navy Reserves now while I'm going through the LAPD process that will take 6-8months anyway.  I figure I can go to Navy boot camp and all that while I'm waiting but I'll clear it with LAPD first.  They are my number one, whatever they say goes.  If for whatever I'm DE'QD from LAPD but make it to the Navy I can volunteer to go full time and Individual Augmentee to be shipped to the Middle East.  I will also ask for the opportunity to try for any special ops departments.  The Navy said, "You need to be open minded.  Once you are in the Navy they will use you wherever the Navy needs you."  Little scary and different then LAPD where I can gear my career towards my goals a few years down the line...

 

Then if LAPD and US Navy both reject me there is one last thing that I could do...

It's probably the gnarliest thing I've ever found in my life.  I believe in the LAPD and what they are doing fighting the drug cartel, gangs, terrorists, helping and serving the community.  I believe in the US Navy and serving my country.  However, this group, I think I would question every single second why am I there and what exactly am I fighting for?  It's called the...French Foreign Legion.  Maximum age to join is 40yrs old.  Only thing that I could see stopping me from joining would be the ol cancer, other then that, good to go. 

You sign up with the FFL, it is a minimum 5yr contract.  No way out once you sign.  LAPD there are girls, Navy there are girls, FFL?  5 years fighting for something I don't know if I believe in what I'm fighting for?  FFL are expendable, they are the first to go.  LA Love does not like the FFL idea at all.

You lose your old identity, you basically disappear for 5 years and you are given a new name which you can keep after your 5 years and start a new life. 

5 years not seeing my son or girls and fighting for causes I may not believe in...

 

LA Love thinks I'm going to get shanked by the homeless.  A lot of them are in altered states when I approach them.  They aren't all there and they don't want to be bothered by anyone.  There is a program call, Step Up To Second, where I can get them in a program and working.  The UK has some great programs to get the homeless off the streets and working again.  I want to do that here in LA. 

 

There is a girl I'm starting to see, the Dutches of Los Angeles.  She is a pretty young girl.  She's probably one of the wealthiest girls I've ever gotten involved with.  If I ever were to land the $10million book deal it really wouldn't mean anything to her and her family's fortune.  They would just say, "That's nice."  Where in my eye's I've conquered the world.  Her family started and are owners of a little company called, Bank of America.  All of the Dutches of Los Angeles's old boy friends all got involved heavy in to drugs, a lot of rich people do that because they have the resources and are quite often bored with their life.  She has never met a Naked Author- Jason William Mitchiner before and keeps calling me, "Fascinating."

She doesn't care what I do and I've dated girls in NYC before that were rich lawyers that would just tell me, "Just stay ambitious Jason and I'll take care of the rest."  And I've run for ze hillz when they say that because I don't want to be any one's boy toy. 

The only thing the Dutches of Los Angeles said to me is, "Well if you make it to the LAPD can you travel?  That is a big rule of mine."

The Dutches of Los Angeles travels everywhere.  She goes to NYC once a month, she knows all the spots in Hoboken I use to go.  She lived in Tribeca.  I keep wanting to get to Spain, well she's been there many times and it is as awesome as I think it is.  She goes all over the world, you name it, she goes there. 

LAPD you get 2 weeks off like a normal job.  I can't tell them, "Oh the Dutches of Los Angeles wants me to go way to Thailand for a month."  And if this gets really serious she has no idea what she is in for.  I have plans for the homeless.  Next Thanksgiving I want all my homeless friends with me around my table.  Imagine the Dutches of Los Angeles and her family with me and my homeless family?

 

Tomorrow I'll start the LAPD Back Ground Investigation and they will look at my previous character.  I want them to look at me now.  Who I am today.  Since cancer.  I'm a different person.  A better person.  I hope LAPD sees that.

Then Tuesday I find out about the Navy.

Then next Monday I start a lil inside sales job. 

So much ahead of me.

I hope I can take my son to meet my grandma this summer.

 

Hard...at Work

 

I'm working here people...never been involved in so many things all at once. 

LA Love is radical except every time I'm in her Prius she has on the Howard Stern Show and I cringe when I hear Father Baba Booey's Voice.

Ray Fusco is radical and always helps me connect with the right people to get the ball rolling.  Me crossing the Ambrose Shipping Channel on my 10ft kayak is rather impressive in the kayaking community...

 

LAPD, FBI, NAVY, IDF, LAHSA, Step Up On Second, Kayak for a Cure, Paddle for a Cure, Crowd Rise, Kick Starter, Sales, Scraping Yachts, Bartender, Server...so much on my plate I'm full and it's spilling over for the homeless. 

I have a dream too...a vision of what I want to accomplish.

 

I've been scratching my head wondering why can't Father Baba Booey understand what I'm trying to accomplish?  My dream is to write and land a book deal.  That's my dream.  I've done everything I can think of to accomplish this dream to land the book deal and turn my books from rough coal to sparkling diamonds.  Why can't Father Baba Booey understand this?

 

I now know the answer.  He's never had a dream and gone after it.  Howard Stern had his dream to entertain the World with his own radio show and everything else he has done.  Howard Stern risked it all to accomplish his dream.  Father Baba Booey was at the right place at the right time, just like him getting his book deal...right place at the right time.  He never had a dream to write books or had a dream to have his own radio show he was just given both...

 

That is the difference between my kind and his...

 

Have you ever heard an Italian girl talk to her mom and dad?

They call their moms, "Mommy" and their dad's "Papa". 

I can listen to LA Love talk to her mom and dad all day long. 

It's adorable.  But when she hangs up and I have to hear Father Baba Booey all my happiness fades away...

 

Howard Stern was judge on America's Got Talent and everyone went on stage and sang, danced, did acrobatics, rode bikes, told jokes, etc. 

 

Well ladies and gentlemen my books my writing is MY STAGE.  My written word is my talent.  As long as there is adventure to be had and women to be found I will always write.  All you have to do is sit back and read. 

I spy with my Naked Eye lots of adventure up ahead...