"God" told me if I changed my ways after defeating cancer all of my dreams will come true...they kind of are...this is my Grand Finale.
I sent in my audition tapes for Survivor, Big Brother, Bachelor(ette), Jersey Shore, (Fear Factor I sent to the wrong address whoops). Survivor had a deadline of October 4th because they start shooting next year for fall 2012 season. The other Reality Shows don't have a deadline. This is a one shot deal, I'm not auditioning for Reality Shows year after year. It took so much work by Benton Stephens my motion graphics editor and myself to get all of this done. Either a producer for one of the shows pics me or this is my Reality right now what you are reading...
All of the girls that I date in the city and everywhere else want two things from me. Financial and mental stability. I will give you both. I have my career in ad sales and I will keep my dreams as my dreams and to myself. If all of these girls want these two things from me, then I want two things from you. I want your beauty and youth. I want a girl that hasn't been married and has no kids. Those are 'virgins' to me as a 35yrld divorced dad. I dated my 'True Love' who was divorced with a kid and it was a giant mess...I'll never go back to that. So True Love is dead? I'm moving forward with girls that are compatible and we make a good fit. Without True Love I can not write books, I have no passion to pen them. I think about True Love constantly and it haunts me. All is lost? But then a girl sent me this http://storycorps.org/animation/danny-and-annie/ . My books are filled with True Love and it is a tired cliche. But it is real and people do find it. It does exist for some. I thought I had it once...I don't know if I'll ever find it again...but I refuse to stop looking. Perhaps the heavens have sent it to me from Niteroi..?
Youtube-dual incomes from my day job in ad sales and Naked Author on Youtube. I went after the book deal from a Random House. I screamed, cried, and yelled for it till I turned red and blue in the face. But oddly enough I don't get paid really from writing my books, although I did make about $300 from my first book. I make dollars and cents from my blog and my videos now on Youtube. Youtube has allowed me to put my baby toe in the ring of getting paid for my video clips. Youtube wants me to grow my audience from 20+ subscribers to many more. If I can do that then Youtube will pay me directly and it will be substantial...can I do it?
My days of running around in Speedos and Spandex are done. That was all BC-Before Cancer. AC-After Cancer my life has changed. I will continue posting videos on Youtube and it will be my kayaking journey from Brooklyn to Sandy Hook and other adventures. I may still wear speedos and spandex in my video clips out of comfort or whatever but the only time you will catch me in public again doing that is if I get paid. When I wake up in the city after a date and I walk by the NYPL, I look up at the mighty pillars that I climbed barefoot in my Speedo and Spandex and I chuckle, that took some serious balls...and those are my balls!
Now I'm doing something else that requires those same steely balls, crossing the Ambrose Shipping Channel and making it from Brooklyn NY to Sandy Hook NJ. I'm trying to do this as safely and calculated as possible. Without Ray Fusco's help it would have ended in disaster for me. Everything has to be perfect in order for me to cross the Atlantic safely. I'm trying to accomplish this over Thanksgiving weekend but I don't think the tides are going to co operate. I need a full day to paddle from sun up to sun down and even that might not be enough...any little thing goes wrong out there and no matter how much planning or people are behind me...this can all end in disaster.
I didn't beat cancer to die now...that's not my plan. I plan on doing this successfully, bring cancer awareness, and let's face it, I love the challenge. I'm so use to the role of the underdog, the chips stacked against me, me vs the world...what if I actually get it all? What if all of my dreams come true? Then what will I do with myself? How will I handle it? Can I handle it?
This is where I'm at right now, today. I think I'm headed in the right direction. The only warning I'll put up or disclaimer is that if I do hear back from one of the Reality Shows then all bets are off. Speedos and Spandex come flying at you and I go for broke as I march to the beat of the Snooki drum...the most retarded and obnoxious beat known to man.
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